DLA award

[JellyCurls]

Called DLA about DDs award that was up last week. Verbally got told over phone that she has been awarded higher rate care and mobility again. I am relieved we won't lose blue badge, but I am sitting here in tears. That big ugly "your child has special needs" wall has just come and smacked me in the face again. Is it normal to feel like this?

Yes more than normal, it a circle that's never ending, a bit like grieve, you go threw hurt,angry, fear then finally acceptance before something takes you right back to the being hurt stage, it completely normal to have days like this but tomorrow you'll wake up ready to deal with and fight whoever you have to, to get your daughter what she needs.

Yes, DLA is a depressive job. Sorry if you have already seen me posting this elsewhere, but DLA forces you to list all the things that DC cannot do and that most people can, and all the things you/DC need help with.

And society tends to see those things in a negative way: 'what is wrong', 'what is hard?'

Normally no-one defines themselves in terms of what they cannot do, or what they need help with: 'Hello, nice to meet you. What do you do?'
NOT 'Hello, nice to meet you. What can't you do? I can't fly a plane' OR 'What do you need help with? I need help with car maintenance'.

If everyone was like DC there would be no issue. It is just that she is in a minority and unique. She does not do everything the bog-standard way.

If society was better adapted to expect a range of things that included the way she operates, then you would not have to list 'difficulties' and explain 'needs', but we are a long way off that yet. Wheelchairs are getting there - as we say 'you are only as disabled as your environment is not adapted to suit you'.

So until we get a better understanding, you will have to list some of her minority traits to get the help you need, and are entitled to. But remember, we don't pay taxes choice, so the flip side of the coin is that benefits are a right.

I bet she does lots of amazing, funny and wonderful things that you could spend happy hours listing. And I would be happy to hear them here if it helps you give the DLA-induced blues a good kicking.

Thanks you are both so right, just bloody annoying when it hits you again.

Feeling better now. Senvet - DD is a bloody miracle. Has a very rare brain malformation (bits missing or misshapen & squished) but she has won medals for swimming, gymnastics and is in top groups at school (mainstream). She is def rewriting the medical books

WOW and thrice WOW! What a STAR!

Up yours, DLA with your one sided questions.

Have fun with your miracle

I am in tears too reading this. DLA is shitty. You are not alone and it is entirely normal to feel like this.

for senvet. Lovely post that will help lots of people.

thanks for the flowers
And flowers too for jelly if I could work out how to do it