I have taken a somewhat circuitous route in getting my ds (7) help. I will desribe to you in case any of the fragments strike a chord and are therefore helpful.
V loud voice, v emotional, v huggy, sometimes flies into rages and cannot be soothed. Until age 4 woke every hour. Better now but still thrashes, has nightmares, wakes at least twice.
First year of school kept up but I felt something wasn't right as he seems bright but reading and writing seemed so difficult for him.
Ended year 2 below standard in reading and writing, above in maths.
This prompted me to contact a reading tutor who asked me to have him assessed by a behavioural optometrist, an occupational therapist and for auditory processing before she saw him.
Behavioural optometrist ($75) diagnosed Irlen Sydrome irlen.com/ and explained it can look a lot like ADHD. Ds got glasses and immediately calmed down, very noticeable, and reading improved at speed.
OT ($330 for 3x 1hr sessions) diagnosed sensory processing problems with touch (the flipping out when accidentally bumped, the constantly wanting hugs), light (hard to stay focused in a classroom with so much movement and so much on the walls) and sound (loud voice to counter what he experiences as a noisy, busy world).
She prescribed a sensory diet of skin brushing and joint compressions, plus lots of heavy work (plenty of physical work/play that includes resistance but doesn't rark him up).
Also physical exercises for hand strength and core strength (he can do 50 press ups but not one sit up, has trouble using tripod grip)
They break the tests down into specifics so you can find out how best to help them e.g. If the visual sequential memory is poor (spelling) then you can counter that with audio work and other tricks. mrsprattclassroom.weebly.com/memory.html
Whatever the visual thing is most required in maths is ds's strong point, 99 percentile she said, hence his varied school results.
Haven't done the audio yet but after that we will do some tutoring to plug gaps and help him catch up.
I also saw the GP about a referral for ADHD assessment but he wasn't keen saying it could at best result in a diagnosis of ritalin which would only blunt the symptoms.
I have also adjusted his diet to be protein-based and put him on supplements (Floradix, omega oils).
It will be interesting to see how he goes at school this year but at home things are much improved as he is so much calmer and I feel as though I understand him better.
Sorry for the essay but I hope that there are elements of helpful advice in this post. All the best.