Struggling with the whole "Happy New Year" thing!

[Ineedmorepatience]

It is 8 days until our tribunal

I want to look forward to the future but all I can see is more years of sadness and grief once our relationship with school has been ruined by the tribunal process!!

I have tried as much as possible to keep things on an even keel with school but I am going to be forced to say what I need to say at tribunal and the member of staff from school who has been called as a witness will take it personally!!

If we win, we stand a chance I guess of repairing any damage done but if we lose and Dd3 falls apart again? What then.

I cant sleep, christmas has been horrid and I just want to throw the towel in and go and live in a caravan

Thanks god for Dp and a few people around us who get it (not family) because I think I would have lost it over the last few weeks.

Nobody needs to answer this, I just needed to say it!

Hi there
First: everyone comes out of a tribunal thinking 'oh I should have said that' and 'I wonder if I should not have said that. You will never know, but if you don't ask, you won't get it, so I am sure you are doing the right thing by asking for what you think your child needs. Brave you!. Better a Tribunal than time wondering 'what if'. Remember 2015 as the year you stood up to them and give yourself a big pat on the back.

Second, LA school witnesses have a tendency to believe that they are in Tribunal to give evidence for the LA's case and their employer is sitting there judging how they perform. They are scared too. BUT, their job actually is to give evidence of fact, to say what they see, to THE TRIBUNAL.

I once had a school scold me for calling a TA to give evidence 'against her employer'. I pointed out that this was totally wrong. I wanted the TA to tell the truth about what she saw, and that would help the Tribunal to understand the child. If the truth hurt my case I had to put up with it.

Now, I know that you tribunal veterans will be laughing at this idea because the LA witnesses so often seem hell bent on supporting the LA case. Indeed there was a time when all symptoms of ASD vanished in one LA id you filed an appeal! I had an LA who coached witnesses and was upset when the school witness (the LA called the teacher) 'didn't stick to script, but I had to tell the truth. I had to live with myself"

So if you manage to convey to the school rep that you have no problem with her appearing as a witness that may help. Say you know she must tell the truth to the Tribunal and you that accept her views and yours may differ - you won't take it personally. This idea should help keep relations OKish whilst giving her a gentle nudge in the direction of 'telling the truth to the tribunal' instead of 'helping the LA win its case'. We sometimes remind witnesses of this in the hearing so they start with that in mind before answering any of our questions.

Third (and sorry this is long) anything that says 'regular' is not specific - once a year or once a week? 'Access to' is usually deleted: when is the access, for how long, who decides? One of my pet hates is 'would benefit from'. ARE YOU GIVING IT OR NOT??

Finally NILs with loads of points are near impossible in a classroom, even more so in a secondary school. Try asking the teacher how many of the points she can recall without looking down!!

Very good luck

Thanks senvet I appreciate the advice

I will try to compose an email to the school rep before the tribunal.

I have done one tribunal already for a refusal to assess so I have learned alot from that although I do realise that all panels are different.

Our last one gave us the chance to ask any burning questions before we closed, so I have jotted a few things down just in case they dont come up.

I know what you mean about all the points in the NIL! I reckon the actual on the ground teaching staff have probably only been given a summary. Some of the things have never been done and will never be done purely because they go against whole school policy such as seating plans that will never be altered.

Hey ho 5 days to go!! This time next week it will be over and then we will be waiting (again) for the decision!

that wait for a decision is an absolute killer isn't it. it doesn't seem to get easier no matter how many times you do it - thankfully my refusual to assess appeal the judgement was in within 8 days.

im not sure with an appeal against a NIL if we get 3 panel members - it will now be usual to only have 2 on a refusal to assess.

ive also now got the pre tribunal stress - I found myself up until 3am just reading the bundle having a panic that I haven't included anything but its all fine - im sat there reading it and thinking how are they going to fight this?? but ive felt like that every time and fight it they make me do. im starting to feel sick and anxious as I know there is something about to happen - what upset me most was a memo from the LA file they did for the last hearing where the LA officers met and discussed dd and they write how she is significantly behind in all areas and still dragged us to tribunal. they are im guessing going to do a similar meeting this week - last time after the meeting they moved to try and get an adjournment and I bet that will be the plan this time.

dd back at school on Tuesday so the madness then will begin I guess. she didn't make it on the last day of term as it all just became too much for her

I have felt a bit calmer today, bjk I went through some of the things I wanted to make sure I dont forget yesterday and made some notes and jotted down some page number s where I have included important points so I can direct the panel to them easily.

I hadnt thought about having 3 panel members, that is a little scary, the 2 we had last time were excellent at helping me to make all my points.

Ahh, well I have 3 great people supporting me including Dp who probably wont say anything but will be there.

Have been and checked out the route to the venue today as its not particularly local to us but its relatively easy to find.

Am working part of this week and Dd3 is back at school tomorrow, after being mostly off for the last 2 weeks due to a double whammy virus that knocked her out. She didnt sleep last night and has been very quiet today, although she did manage to eat lunch with GP's to celebrate grandad's birthday.

Fingers crossed for no more dirty tricks!!

that's my next thing is the bundle coming back from the tribunal and to start copying it for the witnesses - my last 2 have been at different venues so im assuming this one will be at one of the venues I have been to before - im hoping it will be a morning hearing as well - so far managed to avoid an afternoon hearing but guess my luck for that could run out one day as well

We were hoping for an afternoon this time as we have to collect one of our witnesses from 10 miles in the opposite direction to the venue so getting there through the rush hour will be stressy!

Never mind, will just have to get up early and request that Dd2 supervises Dd3 getting to school on that day!

Sounds like you are both doing great
Hang in there

I'm routing for you. There's always more to do,more to say. All you can do is your best

Thanks 2boys, let us know the result of yours as soon as you know!

Thanks senvet much appreciated

Thought I was being told today. Seems that isn't the case.

Oh gee 2boys more waiting!