Is the SALT expecting too much?

[colditz]

Ds is 3.5, and she says most of his speech problems are to do with concentration, attention span and patience.

he didn't understand the concept of secrets in his session with her today, and he fiddles constantly. He doesn't keep to the rules for the games she sets, and doesn't understand about turn taking.

How can I teach him about waiting, and sharing, and turn taking? I thought going to playschool would help there, but he hads been going a year and the SALT still thinks he has problems here.

What am I doing wrong? I wish someone would tell me so I could change it.

Have you asked her for concrete recommendations and advice?
I'm a salt-seem a bit unfair to tell you what he needs but not how to go about it.

She has told me to play games that include taking turns - as if I don't already! I have been playing games with him for as long as I can remember, but if you have to threaten a child with the naughty step to make him wait his turn, it's not a game any more, is it!?

my son has the same sort of thing as yours. he is 5 now and seems to have grown out of alot of the concentration/patience type stuff. i don't know but aren't they still quite young at 3.5 for them to be so worried about it?

The way 'turn taking' games seem to work in my DS's sessions (as demonstrated by SALT or OT) is to start with something simple with just the two of you - e.g. 'lets build a tower - you put a brick on, then I put a brick on' at the simplest. Then have a tray of bricks and don't let him take one when it isn't his turn, saying 'my turn, I take a brick; now your turn, you take a brick', and moving the tray out of reach or putting your hand over his to stop him taking his brick till you've taken yours. (we've started at a very basic level.

Then build on this by things like expecting his to say who's turn it is; or having two adults so there are 3 turns; or using a board game so there is more to the 'turn'; or having another child with a turn ....

make sure praise is for playing well / taking turns and not for 'winning'.

I found our SALT gave DS games to do with his speech sound work. This was doubly hard - he finds it hard to play / take turns AND the 'game' is based on saying speech sounds he finds hard. Separating the two - doing games with things he find easier, and doing the speech sounds in a non-stressful way - easier to manage than pushing him with two hard things at once.

I also found that the SALT would present DS with a 'game' (e.g. memory pairs) he had never played before and not explain it properly, and then be irritated that he didn't manage to do it - he doesn't really stand a chance if he has no idea what's expected!

We were probably working at a much more basic level than you, but we were told to generalise the "turn taking" outside of play as well - all the situations where you do or might take turns. Eg at the dinner table - taking food in turns, taking turns to brush your teeth in the morning (DD's turn... Mummy's turn...) etc. All places where you do, in fact, take turns but he might not realise that's what's happening if you don't articulate it. I suppose that would apply to conversation as well - instead of "don't interrupt" "mummy's talking" etc. say "mummy's turn to talk now"?

thanks everyone, and sorry for neglecting this thread.

The SALT wants me to play Snakes and Ladders with him this week. I really do not think he will grasp it. I will try, and I will try with optimism, buit if she is visibly losing patience with him after 20 minutes, what does she expect me to do after 10 hours!

She also want to get him assessed for ADD because of his behavior in the sessions - he is literally climbing the walls (and rolling on the floor, and fiddling with her buttons, and going in her pencil case, tipping a table over, trying to rearrange the furniture...)

He seems to really annoy her and I can tell she finds him wearing.

I'm working on his waiting, simply by saying 'wait' and holding my hand up. A timer is a really good idea.

It sounds to me as if he is behaviour may be the result of too much being expected of him. Snakes and Ladders with a 3.5 year old? I know my experience isn't typical (I always think NT kids are geniuses ) but I would have thought this was asking too much! My more or less NT 5 year old is only just able to play it (and even now gets cross if he doesn't hit a snake - likes slithering down more than winning lol).

He calls her 'silly lady'

You are right, he really does not wish to engage with her.

His teacher at playschool however - well, he is practically picking the ring! LOL

I know they don't play games like snakes and ladders at his playschool, which is a preschool really, with lot's of NT children his age and older, so surely children that age aren't expected to do it? It seems absurd - Whishe asked me if I had a lot of board games, but frankly I don't have any - Ds1 is my eldest and I never thought he was anywhere near ready for them - but then I felt bad in case he needs them.

She tries to engage him with a teddy (make teddy sit on the chair, let's find teddy, lets make teddy a drink, etc). He hates the teddy, says teddy is 'borning' and just gives her a load of cheek or ignores he by refusing eye contact (which he does a lot).

Snakes and ladders with a 3yr-old? Ds2's favourite turn-taking game with the SALT is pop-up pirate. (Where you take turns to pull out a little plastic sword from the barrel until it 'triggers' the pirate and makes it pop out).

It makes me wonder how much experience she has of working with very young children. A good SALT (IMHO) should be able to tell when a child is bored with an activity and either try to make the activity more interesting or move on to something else.

Now pop up ppirate he might like.

I was thinking of Frustration, he would enjoy pressing the popper.

'Silly lady' and 'boring teddy' - he sounds great!

DS1 likes Tumbling Monkeys - where you take turns to pull out the sticks and see if the monkeys fall down. (You have to set it up beforehand - takes a while and tests patience). DS2 doesn't care about the monkeys - just likes poking the sticks in the holes. Can still practise turn taking even with this though.