DS aged 7, accused of 'inappropriate touching' in changing room. Please advise on what I should do now

[jaindoh64]

Hi

My 7 yo DS has a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism. He recently started junior school, and we have had a few teething problems.

Yesterday the form teacher called me over at home time. She said that an incident had taken place in the swimming pool changing room.

The children are bussed out to a public swimming baths.and use a communal changing room.

Apparently a boy, who I will call C, asked my son to touch his (C's) private parts. DS did, to much laughing and giggling by the other boys.

They were still laughing when they left the changing room, so the teacher asked why, and they told her.

Now it is being looked on as a very serious issue.

I am worried sick that my little boy is going to be blamed for a sexual assault.

There is absolutely NO supervision in these changing rooms. The teacher is a woman, and not allowed to enter. I had to attend a meeting at school last week regarding incidents in the playground.

It was agreed that the TA would give DS extra supervision and he would stay indoors at lunch time.

So how can there be no supervision in the changing room? He is a vulnerable child and I feel he has been put in this position by lack of support by the school.

The school has no Senco, since September, no Head Teacher, I don't know what I should do to protect my son.

The other little boy was not upset in any way, but it's going to be all round the playground today that my son assaulted him.

Sorry to post and run but I have to get DCs up now and go to work.

I'll check in on my lunch break, I hope someone has some advice, thank you

Yes, I stand by the use of 'willing'. We all know that there is an enormous difference is what a school is 'obliged' to do, and what they actually do.

And imo that can be down to how enthusiastic and willing the school's inclusion leader or senco is.

Meeting the bare minimum of what the school is legally obliged to do, is not the same as giving enough help and support to a family through the difficulties that their child may be having.

Samantha28 -no I couldn't understand that either. That's when I called the second meeting with the class teacher and deputy head (she is the also the Acting senco) to find out exactly what they had hoped to achieve.

And really I still don't know.

That's when they suggested he stay indoors at lunchtime on the computer.

To be honest, I don't think the Acting senco has a clue about ASD.

The other problem is that out of 15 teacher,10 of them are very new and do not have the experience to deal with these issues.

I think jain has it with the description of the difference in schools' provision for pupils needing support.

My take on this is that if a school is already working hard at supporting its pupils then you can work with them to push for further adjustments and improvements. If what they are currently doing is pretty useless then unless there is someone in power who desperately wants to change things, parents are just hitting their heads against a brick wall.

The schools that aren't doing very well have often got the types of issues jain describes e.g. an acting SENCO (who may therefore not have training for the job) and lots of new and inexperienced staff. These kinds of situations make staff feel vulnerable. Usually, everyone is trying their best in a difficult situation but not being supported and this makes staff feel defensive.

In my area all the secondary schools are judged as "good" by OFSTED but having had direct experience of 3 of them with my 3 ds, and reports of good and bad situations from friends, I know the attitude to supporting children with special needs varies enormously.

I had to take ds3 out of his first secondary school because they did not meet his needs and said some things that were outrageous (suggesting we home educated him after he'd been there for 2 and a half months). We persevered for 2 more years but in the end moving on was the best thing. The school has been inspected again and is still "good".

'The schools that aren't doing very well have often got the types of issues jain describes e.g. an acting SENCO (who may therefore not have training for the job) and lots of new and inexperienced staff.'

Whist I don't disagree with this. Don't make the mistake of assuming that a stable school with an outstanding reputation does right by their SEN children either. Often they are 'outstanding' at cooking the books and presenting an impressive performance with no actual substance.