Urghh. Where to start? Ok will try to be concise.
DS is 7, in y3 local MS primary. Has dxes of SPD, anxiety, and ASD with a PDA profile. No statement/EHCP (school are supposedly "gathering evidence"); CAF/TAF being implemented but not off the ground yet; been on reduced TT (our request) most of this academic year; more or less FT 1:1 support (seems to vary a bit) when he's there. Terrible separation and school anxiety. Manifests itself in big meltdowns amongst other things (throwing things, hiding, running away, smashing his head, having to be restrained and ending up hurting staff members (not badly) while struggling against the restraint).
Since Sept, his anxiety levels been sky high. Getting him to school at all, and leaving him there, has been increasingly difficult. He clings on to me/DH, and it would take several strong adults to peel him away and restrain him. Between us, DH and I have ended up staying with him in school (sometimes for hours) because we physically cannot leave him without having to have him forcibly removed from us and restrained, which we know would trigger a giant meltdown.
Given a one day exclusion on Friday for kicking and hitting his 1:1 when she tried to restrain him from running after me as I went to leave. We are to go in on Monday first thing for reintegration interview. He has been close to exclusion before but this was the first actual exclusion. School have previously said they would only use it as a last resort as they agreed it would not achieve anything positive as far as DS was concerned, but now seem to be saying "a line has been crossed and now enough is enough".
Should also add we've been looking into other schools but the ones we have approached (indi, MS but supposedly ultra-inclusive) have said they cannot offer him the support he needs; have also been to see various local MS state schools but not getting the impression they will offer anything more/different to current school. Also not sure to what extent any school, however much support it offered, would be anxiety-inducing for him by its very nature. He is very bright although achieving only averagely.
Sorry that has turned out to be a massive essay after all! Any thoughts/advice/hand-holding welcome. Feeling terrified, exhausted, overwhelmed, and don't know where to go from here.