I think Dd1(3, nearly 4)has SN. I have posted about her behaviours before and a few members have suggested I look into it but have always been a bit ignorant to it all before now.
I don't remember much odd behaviour when she was under a year old other than her cry, it was unbearable, more so than a usual babies cry. She could walk from 11mo and was talking quite well shortly after. All I remember is after that she was just the most difficult child I have ever come across and hasn't changed, only gotten worse.
At nursery she is very quiet, has some friends and attaches to them quite intensely. She doesn't talk much to the nursery staff and when she does she adopts this sort of baby talk voice and goes very very coy.
At home she is a completely different character. She blows up around 10 times per day, with at least 2 of them being violent (hitting, kicking, biting, nipping). From the moment she wakes she is loud, very shouty, fights constantly for no obvious reason with her siblings. She gets something in her head and doesn't stop until she gets her way (though she doesn't). She likes her routines and if they are broken all hell breaks loose. If something is taken from her in punishment she goes mental. She is very grabby, very quick to hurt others in the family but wouldn't harm a fly outside.
She likes contact, hugs and kisses but is always so rough, grabbing you, squashing herself into you so much it hurts. She doesn't seem to recognise consequences of her actions, or doesn't care about them. I'm not even sure she's listening when you're warning her. She is also prone to testing dangerous limits like running onto roads and attempting to touch hot tea etc.
She loves to be loved and shines when she is given good praise so this is often done even for the smallest of things but she always reverts back. I have tried so many parenting books and techniques and nothing is working for her. My other 2dc respond well to discipline (non physical) and have never gone through this phase never mind it lasting so long.
We always say when she's nice she's very very nice and when she's not she's horrid!
This sounds terrible describing a child like this but I really want to put all the facts down to get an honest opinion...advice?