There is a child at school who unexpectedly jumps on other dc, this really bothers ds and if he is unable to tell us what has gone on has massive meltdowns about it.
At school he masks everything so doesn't appear upset by it at all, but Monday night started the second he was in the car and carried on until bedtime, trashing the house, swearing and lashing out at everyone.
Tuesday, this boy runs at ds in the cloakroom (very small, but no teacher there at the time, he was already in the classroom) and pinned him against the wall, ds pushed him off.
On the way out of school, this boy tried to grab ds's privates (as he does), slipped and got trousers instead, but still very distressing to ds.
I should point out that ds is no angel, and is sort of ok with mutual roughish play, full on rough play is a definite no-no, but unexpected things terrify him.
I spoke to the HT who assured me she would deal with it.
Picked ds up today, and he has told me that the boy told him that Mrs X told him that ds has a little bit of autism.
I rang her up to try to get to the bottom of it. Apparently those were not her words, but she did try to explain to this boy that some people don't like to be touched, and drew direct parallels with a boy who is openly and more obviously autistic (I know that's not worded right, sorry), presumably using this as a comparison to explain why he can't jump on ds 
In the past, because ds presents as NT at school, I have been told to be very careful not to label him, which we have, so why is the HT using these comparisons to a 9 yr old boy?
I had assumed that this would be dealt with by saying to the boy (who is 9) that under no circumstances is he to jump on anyone, or pin anyone up against the wall, or grab anyone's private areas, instead of making this simply about ds not wanting to be touched (but it's not being touched, it's being jumped on, pinned against a wall or floor - more than just being touched!)
This shouldn't have anything to do with one child possibly having ASD, surely this is about a 9 yr old not being able to control his impulses at all, and dealing with that and adequately supervising him so he doesn't have any opportunity to jump on anyone?
I have a long list of things I feel have been handled badly or insensitively.
We've had a massive long fight to get even small things put into place which has knocked the stuffing out of me over the last few months, I no longer trust my own judgement.
Would you have been happy with the above? Am I being over sensitive about it all?
I'm going to ring around some other local schools and hopefully look round, I'm not sure I can keep going in this school knowing what a battle everything is, but will it be the same everywhere? Is it better the devil you know?
I thought we'd made progress just before half term, and we're starting fresh.
Ds appears to be ok in school, he likes his teachers. He does find the day difficult and explodes pretty much every evening to different levels.
Honestly don't know what to do for the best now. Sorry this is so long. :(