Have the EP in tomorrow.

[xenzani]

Found out yesterday that the EP will be in tomorrow to meet with me and then observe dd tomorrow.

Was surprised it would be that quick, seeing as they only conceded a week and a half ago.

The bad news is that dd has to be in school all day tomorrow, something she hasn't done since the second week of term as she has been on half days. She is used to coming home at lunch time (on the days she actually goes in) so I don't think it is going to go down too well. She isn't happy about staying in all day, and I have a feeling she is going to out right refuse to go in again tomorrow. Knowing our luck, the EP will see nothing wrong and support the LA/school in that she doesn't need a statement.

It sounds very callous, but if you can possibly get her in, it is probably going to be a very good thing if the EP sees her reacting badly to being in school.

I'm hoping they see her not coping. First all day in ages and will be seen after lunch. She will know I'm there as I have to meet them before hand.

FFS. It has gone from bad to worse. DD refused to go in and after half hour of trying (normally I would bring her home) deputy head and lsa dragged her away from me kicking and screaming. I left her when all my instincts were telling me not to and a few minutes later I get a call to return to the school immediately. Started walking back and the learning mentor was by a bridge near where we live. DD had run out to run home.

She has attacked the deputy head quite badly and ripped books, thrown stuff etc.

Another exclusion.

Then we had the police around because of what has happened and dd refused to acknowledge them or talk. They asked if that was normal for her and I said when she is like she is, yes. She hid away completely. They are referring us to social services because apparently I need help coping. I need the Ados appointment to come through asap and hopefully get a diagnosis of ASD. I also need a school that will be able to meet dds needs.

I am still meeting the EP today, dd however isn't as she isn't welcome at the school. I wished they would hurry up and permanently exclude her.

It's times like these I am glad dd1 has no issues.

I have nothing useful to say, I just didn't want your last post to go unanswered.

The school is quite obviously not meeting her needs, I'm sure you don't need a diagnosis to prove that. Does she have a statement or EHCP, or is that why the EP was going to see her today?

How are you both now?

Ring the EP and ask him/ her to meet with you at home!! That is what ours did she wrote her SA report based mainly on what we had told her, she did assess Dd3 at school once but that doesnt have to be today!!!

Good luck and sorry you and your poor Dd have been so badly let down by this school.

EP should be willing to visit you and your daughter at home. As a plus she can hardly say your dd is "fine" given the mornings events nor that the school are handling her appropriately.

Also look on the SS referral as a positive - we were referred under similar circumstances and they were very helpful in chasing up all the medical and educational people to get diagnosis and more importantly support for the ds's. They seem to have much more power than a lot of people to get things moving.

A small update. Social services called, the police lied somewhat on the referral to them, but I was calm, and told them what had happened, after all, with their input we may get further quicker. However, they have said we don't meet their criteria, no evidence of abuse or neglect, apparently the house was messy but no rubbish, dd2 showed no signs of abuse or neglect, well looked after. The referral will have no further action noted on it. I am doing everything they suggest as it is.

EP ended up coming here, she was quite pissed off about today, said had she been told more of the story, she would have came in the morning, or at home. She wasn't told dd2 only does mornings. She also saw a couple of sensory things dd does, and has suggested I go back to the pead and inform then that the ADOS is more important then ever, and that it needs to be hurried up.

CAHMS have already refused to take her on, and the referral for the ADOS was sent at the same time, a week ago.

It does, however look like she has been permanently excluded at last, although no one knows for sure. No letter given yet, the EP was disgusted about that.

I have someone from behaviour support coming over tomorrow so they can get their part done. It is the person who has known us since day one. He wanted to do it rather then someone who doesn't know the case at all.

Iloveithere, we are finally getting a SA, and it is all happening very quickly, the LA conceded less then two weeks ago.

Kind of in limbo at the moment as to what is actually going on. Hoping after what happened today, the LA give us a perfect statement without fight.

I have a feeling in dds case, diagnosis will be quite important as without it, she may be placed in a school for behavioural needs rather then one for ASD, which could end up being wrong for her.

Some really positive news there xen, the EP sounds helpful and did the right thing coming to see you and Dd at home.

The permanent exclusion from a school that are not meeting her needs will kick a few arses even though it is sad that it came to that.

Some EBD schools are actually full of children with undiagnosed children with Asd, ADHD etc . Staff are well trained and very committed. So dont panic about that for now.

And you have someone from behaviour support who gets it! You only need one proff to really believe you, they can really help to move things on.

Seriously, what an awful, stressful day for you and your Dd. Be kind to yourselves and take each day as it comes.

Good luck

Ooops sorry for the middle sentence not making sense

Thanks ineed.

Coincidence or not, school have decided not to permanently exclude dd as today we found out she has a place at the PRU. She does have a fixed term exclusion that will take her up to when she will start there.

There is no way I am letting her back in the junior school if/when she is ready to go back. Will not be a problem as hopefully we will be able to name a school on her statement when she gets it, which should help a lot as most schools are full here. Interestingly, the school closest to me with a shite reputation (and a brief but not good experience with dd1 7 years ago) is also a school that behaviour support have not been called into much at all.

Person from behaviour support was fab, he said it is glaringly obvious to him she has ASD now, and he seemed confident that she will get a statement. It seems that the school (read deputy head) failed to contact them again back in the summer like she said she had, no record of contact at all, and there would be as it's mainly emails now. He also couldn't understand why things had gotten so bad, and that SA hadn't been done sooner. I told him about the lack if support and the usual reasons that she wouldn't get a statement, all the reasons she would actually get one. He agreed a fresh start at a different school may be a good thing in the longer term. I said mainstream will only work with lots of support.

Things seem to be going better thankfully.

Thanks again for listening and advice everyone

Great news xen , onwards and upwards and I am sure your Dd will be happy to be away from that school.

Good luck with the PRU

That sounds like good progress Xen. Just a word of warning from bitter experience do not let them put her back into mainstream before her statement is finalised. Naively, we let them try ds1 in a different school with no additional support but supposedly good asd experience (had a unit) and the placement failed very, very quickly.