bra shopping for teen with asd /sensory issues

[asdmummy]

Dd has asd and many sensory issues (13 yrs)

Buying clothes always a nightmare as her specifications re size, texture, colour, cut are always so exact.

Today tried to buy new bras. Bulging out of the 34a she has been wearing but nothing we tried today met her specifications :

Absolutely plain
No lace /decoration
No colour / pattern -white or skin tone only . Black completely unacceptable
No underwiring
Must be completely smooth and flat - no embroidery/lace effects
Not itchy
Soft fabric
Not a crop top
Not a sports bra

By my measurements (31 under; 35 around chest) she needs a 32c

We tried up /down cup sizes bands from 32-36 (a-c) but she ended up sobbing and pacing up and down -inconsolable that she is a freak as nothing fits right.

The bottom line is nothing 'feels' the same as her old ones. She can't accept they no longer fit properly. Can't get any bigger in the same range as they were from a 'teen' range and that's as big as they went.

I respect her sensory issues and know shopping /change is hard for her, but do any of you wise people have any ideas? Where will we get something that she can cope with given all her sensory needs?

She refuses to be measured by a fitter in store so I can't even get them to help me select something.

She really needs some new bras, but it is such an ordeal.

I know you put no crop tops on your list but I am going to mention the Primark ones anyway ,sorry.

Dd3 and I both wear them, they are snug and comfyish as bras go.

I really struggle with bras and Dd3 has Asd and Spd so I knew she was going to but she has actually done better with these than the M and S soft cotton crop tops.

If you have a Primark near by they are only about £2.50 so if she cant manage them you havent wasted a fortune.

Good luck, I feel your pain and you and your Dd are definitely not alone

We have this issue too. Are the primark tops wide strapped? My dd won't wear thin straps

What about the belvia bras? Spanx have also brought out a smooth, thick strapped, wireless but front fastening bra but its about £60!

Would she be happy to browse online?

Yes they are wide straps caramel and very similar to the Belvia ones. I find them more supportive than the Belvia though they are stretchy but not as stretchy as them.

Meant to say Asda do a very similar crop top too but again it is stretchier than the Primark one.

She has very poor fine motor control... can't manage to pull a crop top over head and then unravel /straighten it out!... they drive her insane as she can't bear the few moments of twisted up fabric before you straighten them out. Sensory issues are very acute. Gets so stressed so quickly and really can't bear certain 'feelings' against her skin.

Doesn't want my help getting dressed anymore (understandably) so crop tops really not able to be managed independently...

Has taken a lot of time to teach the fasten at front, swivel and hoik up manoeuvre of getting a bra on!!!!

The books on parenting - just never cover the things you need!!!! Any ideas gratefully received though.

Well my 14 year old still wears John Lewis vests! They offer no support and it's something we revisit regularly. Might look at primark tops - thanks

How about stepping into one asdmummy?

Never tried that... watch out for hysterical shouts / shrieks of laughter if you are in primark!!!! I will try and wrestle her into one that way! I so love mumsnet.

Just a thought, I nearly had to resort to that method when I trashed my shoulder in the summer!

Honestly, you are never alone on here!! I have struggled massively with bras for 30 odd years but can just about cope with these most days!

Slightly more support than a crop top

Have you considered buying them online and tying them on at home?

eBay has loads if sellers who sell new and accept returns. If you open the package carefully and re seal you can return to sender and you don't pay to pay postage.

This would at least mean your dd can try then on at home without the additional stress of a larger dept store

How about these - DD used to wear them and found them very comfy.

You can order online, try at home and return if they don't fit!

TillyMint you are a star... They look EXACTLY the same as she has... Will order and try. Thank you thank you thank you!!! Hope it meets her approval!!!

Great DD would only wear that style when she was 12-14!

She also refused to get measured by a fitter till a bit before she turned 15. She is a 28EE/30E and is now quite happy to wear a range of colours/styles, thank God!

YAY!! Glad you found some, hope your Dd is ok with them!

Sloggi Sensual Fresh Tops are brilliant for sensitive skin, I know you said no crop tops but these aren't as 'elasticky' as some, and slide on pretty easily, or could be stepped into.

They have nice thin shoulder straps so go well under clothes. They can also be doubled up (ie wear one on top of another) if you need a bit of extra support.

Also Sainsburys is worth a look as they have started doing some nice, wearable, not too chunky bra-type crop tops.

Tilly mint..you are an absolute shining star.... ordered and met her exact approval.

Thank you so much.

Fabulous!

Now you have to hope she doesn't grow much bigger too fast, as the cup sizes don't go up too far!

My Daughter is starting High school and I am waiting to see if she is on the spectrum but I think she is. She is 11 and I can get her to wear a crop top or anything . Think she will get picked on and also PE she won't even change in front of me let alone 10 other girls.