DS has diagnosis (Aspergers) but school says he doesn't need to be on SEN register - where next?

[Flook76]

Hello (again!)

Just after some advice - DS (nearly 6) has had a diagnosis of 'social and communication difficulties in line with a autism spectrum disorder' although recently I've noticed on the paediatrician letters they are just saying 'aspergers' now.

We had a fantastic reception teacher who was the SENCO, but have had a tricky transition into Y1.

The school say he's fine in the classroom - and academically he does very well - especially in maths where he's 2 years ahead.

It's in the playground he struggles.

But I expect he struggles in other more subtle ways in the classroom as well.

SENCO and school have put things in place to help him - which is positive - things like he doesn't go out to play for the full dinner time - he can choose a friend and they spend some time together in the library (when I say friend though - he doesn't really have 'friends' as such so it just tends to be a child from his class - I haven't been able to get to the bottom of how they are chosen or whether they are just told they have to go)

When in a line he always has to go at the front (luckily he's proud of this) otherwise he pushes and shoves.

But the school says he doesn't warrant being on the SEN register.

However, he has been coming home with scratches (and even a bite mark) on his face from when he does go out to play - which the school didn't even know about - because he just always gets involved in some kind of fight when unsupervised - he tells me he's being bullied, but I know from experience he often mis-reads social cues and can seem like he's being threatening when he doesn't really mean to be - and without an adult to steer him this can rile other children into a reaction.
But I do think now for the other kids it's a bit like baiting a bear.
Also he would never then let a teacher know what had happened - he just doesn't know how to (after all he does has social and communication difficulties).

I feel he should at least be asked how playtimes went to try and prompt a discussion - if 1-2-1 support is out of the question (which they say it is).

I have let the school know my concerns re playtimes and so now DS tells me sometimes he stays in the classroom if he wants to - or holds hands with a dinner lady.

But it's still happening when they are not looking out for him and he does go out to play.

He has also got into trouble recently because he keeps playing with other children's hair (fiddling because he says he likes the feel or blowing on their hair) - this surely is sensory thing so there must be a more positive way to deal with it than telling off (unfortunately he did it to a little girl who said she was going to tell the teacher and then DS ended up hitting her as he didn't want to get into trouble so that incident really escalated).

I feel like if they are doing things (and not really informing me directly) of what they are doing - surely he needs a more formal plan?

Especially since he'll be going into Juniors which is run by a different head teacher in 2 years' time.

So I think next steps would be a call a meeting with his teacher and the SENCO?

I have tried to do this before but instead the head mistress called DH on his mobile and talked to him about everything they were doing for DS - which reassured DS, but I feel fobbed off by this as the same issues seem to be still occurring.

I think I just want you to tell me I'm not causing a fuss for no reason - I know many times on here it's said we are the only advocate for our children, and I can now see that to be absolutely true.

I like his school (he hates school, but I don't think that's because of the school - or maybe it is? He struggles massively with friendships - I'd like to think the school could do more to help him with this, but that's probably massively naive. It's often very hard to get him there in the morning).

It's an inclusive school and they do have quite a lot of SEN children there, and are talking about building a multi-sensory room, so then I think I'm over-reacting and they know better than me and they are right about him not needing to go on the SEN register.

(gah sorry I always mean to keep my posts short but they come out a lot longer than I anticipate - thanks for bearing with me if you have!)

No answers but bumping for you.

Has he got an IEP?

If his class teacher was off, how would the supply teacher know about putting him at the front of the queue etc?

As a teacher, having a student with a diagnosis of SEN, with actions in place to support him, him not being on the SEN register just seems bizarre. They are already doing the work, why do they not want him on the register?

I would expect a child with the difficulties you describe to be on the SEN register. Social and behavioural difficulties are equally as valid reasons as academic ones. The school is making adaptions to prevent incidents which is good but what they don't seem to be doing is trying to teach him any social skills so that he can interact appropriately with his classmates. This is going to impact his learning as he moves up the school and is expected to do group work etc and is why he needs to be on the SEN register. Perhaps applying for an EHCP plan would make the school take your son's difficulties a bit more seriously. Sadly, too often schools only seek support for kids with social communication difficulties when they are disruptive.

Ah -can he have an IEP without being on the SEN register?

This is where I find it all confusing! No he doesn't even have that - although it feels as if he does unofficially as they are putting all these measures in place - but I would know if he had an IEP I think because I'd have been consulted on it?

In reception we agreed to put in on the 'watch list' (but now reading online I'm not even sure if this is an official thing or just something his particular school does)

I suppose I feel like I'm failing him for not following it all up more - I put my faith in the school really, but increasingly feel like it's not enough and he's miserable and struggling.

(He also has a rare autoimmune condition which is adding to complications - although doesn't affect him day-to-day he's on a pretty strong medication for it which has some horrible side effects - sickness being one of them, which then means he has disturbed sleep and then than leads to worse behaviour at school because he's tired)

I think I just want more support from somewhere with it all!

Oh sorry in first post I should have said 'children with SEN' rather than 'SEN children' (feel I'm drawing attention to my error now as well but better to put it right)

I would expect him to be on the SEN register too. The legislation on SENs has just changed completely, have a look at this link from the charity IPSEA to see what the school should be doing and maybe call their helpline for advice IPSEA Link. My DS has AS and has been on the SEN register since Yr R (not diagnosed till yr 2, now Yr 6).

Thanks everyone

Oh that IPSEA link is very interesting - looks like IEPs won't exist now anyway!

No flook there wont be IEP's as such but schools are still expected to set targets, work on them, assess progress and then review them with parents at least 3 times a year.

Some schools often led by their LA's are misinterpretting the new code of practice so I would suggest arming yourself with as much knowledge as possible to help you help your Ds.

He needs you to be his voice, keep trying to get a meeting with the senco and keep a diary of days he doesnt want to go and why not if you can find out.

When our children are little it is easy to continue to take them to school even if they are resistant but as they get bigger, if the problems arent solved it gets much harder.

When my daughter school refused last year, I physically could not make her go and realised that it was harming her to force her anyway.

Good luck

Yes to everything Ineed says. Also keep notes of incidents that he tells you about at school, or those times when you are called in to speak to the teacher, date them all, it all builds up evidence to make your case for getting him the help he needs.

He should be on the SEN register for his medical condition alone! The rest simply adds to that. Nice to hear they're helping in some ways but sounds like they're not aware of the code of practice. It may be worth you reading that so you can maybe go to the head with highlighted Sections? Maybe worth contacting your parent partnership too.