ASD child and risk of violence towards newborn

[sansissu]

Thought we'd got past the violence but DSS has just been sent home from school for kicking other kids when something went wrong in class. We have tried and failed in the past to get anger management help, though new school have just started providing this (mainstream high). Am 7 months pregnant and terrified about what happens if he lashes out at the baby or continues to be violent at school. Probably just hormonal, but terrified that social services could wade in and remove either or both of them. Is that just paranoid hormones talking or could it happen?

Unfortunately sanssisu, I think that you just have to keep an eye on the situation. You will need to be in the room if they're together, as kids with ASD often don't understand the consequences of their actions until it's too late, and if your DSS has anger issues, it's better to be on the safe side.

Concentrate on building a relationship between the two, praise as often as you can when DSS is loving and gentle and hopefully you won't have to do it forever. DS1 (ASD) is actually fantastic with babies and really wouldn't hurt them now, but it's been a long journey and a couple of things have happened to DS2 (also ASD) that I really wish hadn't, just because of the lack of consciousness by DS1 about the consequences of his actions.

I do sympathise, it's not going to be easy

Thanks all for your comments and advice. I completely freaked out yesterday but am feeling a little calmer about the whole thing today and DSS has been OK, though not sure how he'll feel about going back to school on Monday when we get to Sunday night. We are going to try desensitising to the baby noises, we'll approach it as him helping the dogs to get used to it and I agree, we are just going to have to be very wary of leaving him alone with the baby. Thanks all.