Hi all, new to MN and looking for some advice. My DS, 12 has a diagnosis of HFA with behavioural problems. He's incredibly bright but lacking in some social skills. Has an older sister and younger brother both NT, happy family life, late with speech, bit contrary but otherwise no real problems until he got to juniors. During year 4 behaviour was 'naughty', calling out in class, obsessed with justice, not listening to reason and getting into altercations with other children. He started having infrequent but violent meltdowns at home and we saw GP and referred to CAMHS. They suspected ASD but we had to be diagnosed through paediatrician so waited a year for appt.
He spectacularly kicked off during the ADOS and diagnosis was confirmed at the start of year 6. Before this point he had suffered multiple fixed term exclusions, been sent to a PRU on dual placement (actually quite enjoyed it) and threatened with permanent exclusion. SENCO useless, head completely in denial about any SEN. Ed Psych and behaviour service all observed and reported but no real changes were made. We wanted to pull him out but he was resistant to leaving even though he was finding it difficult to go in every day.
I applied for and secured him a statement but this only came a month before he left juniors. It is not a watertight statement but at that time his dad and I were thinking he may end up needing SS at some point. We visited the local SS and it seemed ideal for him, they had some really bright HFA boys doing well there. We still felt we had to give mainstream a go and he was in agreement with this.
He did two weeks then crashed and burned. He has been getting into fights with another child who caused him problems at juniors, and knows how to push his buttons. He has been out of lessons with 1:1 for last 3 weeks trying to build confidence, not coping with class sizes etc, but unfortunately two incidents with the other child at break have resulted in my son hitting and kicking him, and he's already had two external exclusions. They have called in Ed Pysch and asked for an emergency review of the statement, as its clear he needs full time 1:1 at present.
He does have some good days, but will not always respond to staff, has been going walkabout at school, anxiety is up and has been swearing and will shove people if they attempt to get near him. The school knew all about him before, and said they were geared up, but its as if they have had enough now and don't know what to do with him. The external exclusions are so detrimental to his mental health, it takes a long time to recover from them but school were not impressed when I asked if internal exclusion could be an option.
I'm seriously wondering if we try and limp to Christmas then look to SS? I know its early days but it's as though his behaviour is worse than it ever was in juniors. He says he wants to stay at the current school.
Out of school he's generally fine, he does have occasional meltdowns (usually when excluded) and trashes his room, swears and has kicked and hit me if I am in the vicinity, but never his dad or siblings. He takes mag/zinc/multivits and vegepa EPA. He's in sports clubs 4 days a week, they dont have any problems with him. He's such a lovely boy and I hate to see him struggling at school. Anyone made the move to SS and been glad they did?