Argh please help no idea what to do now!

[Housesoftheholy]

Ds just started year r at Ss school. He got off to a great start but has always has sleep troubles in particular early waking. He is waking around 4am and because I just wanted him to be calm for school I was letting him just come in my bed and he would just lie awake there until 5.30 when we get up for a drink and bring it back to my bed until 6.30. It was not ideal but it was calm.

I was worried about how tiredness though as he gets very tired and school said they felt he was ready for sleep training. I agreed and felt he was too. So now I'm 3 weeks into super nanny style sleep training. He has a social story about staying in bed and a gro clock which he gets that he is not supposed to get up until the yellow face.

But 3 weeks in it is much worse not better. He will not stay in his bed for even one minute and every day this week I've been taking him back repeatedly for 1-1.5 hrs. I can do that but his behaviour his really suffering he seems so anxious and had a massive meltdown after school yesterday like I haven't seen for a long time.

I can't keep stressing him out like this but I'm really worried he will just think I'm a pushover if I stop too! What can I do? Help please! I really think its the wrong time to do this but don't know how to stop without giving the wrong message now.

If this isn't working it's time to try a different way, that doesn't mean you're a pushover, it means you're working it out to suit him.

Might he settle in a bed made up in your room, if he needs to be near you?
Sleep training nearer you so he doesn't feel stressed about it. Once he's reliably sleeping in his bed all night you could slowly introduce the idea of sleeping in his own room.

Thanks for response. He settles happily in his bed at night and I lie on his bedroom floor while he falls asleep, but it's at 4am he won't go back to his bed.

He wants to come in my bed or me lie on his floor again then. I can't lie on his floor then as I will be there for the rest of the night because he just doesn't go back to sleep ever after that time even if he comes in my bed and I have a bad back.

If he comes in with me then he's back in my bed and we are back where we started? I'm trying to find a middle ground like leaving him with a story cd on but he won't even try lying in his bed for a few minutes at that time!

My ds just does not get super nanny style techniques, just got more and more upset with controlled crying and would spend all night doing the game of Mummy putting him back in bed. Gave up in the end when I had dd so I sleep with her and dh with ds. Definitely not ideal! But had meeting with Cahms last week and they swore by the slow retreat method. Had half heartedly tried it in the past but going to give it a go. Don't miss the snoring but do miss dh. Good luck. P.s my ds is on slow release melotonin which has helped tremendously, still wakes repeatedly in the night but settles back down very quickly.

Hedgyhoggy yesI do not think ds gets it at all either, it just isn't working. I also do not think ds is even capable of going back to sleep once he has woken, so trying to get him to stay in his bed for between an hr and two hrs when he has awoken seems cruel.

This morning he has done so well. He has actually stayed in his bed since waking at 4am and has listened to a story cd. Admittedly he is yabbering on to me and I have a bribed with the lure of a little present (a tiny car)! But it's something.

I've set his clock to come at 5.10 to make it manageable.

On the cerebra website it suggests that if your child wakes at a certain time every day (which for you is true), you are supposed to wake them 30 mins before that time - just enough for them to open their eyes - and then leave them to settle themselves back to sleep.

I haven't tried it myself but take a look at the website - it has other tips too.

My DD is an appalling sleeper so I feel your pain x

Many many moons ago when my Dd1 was 3 or 4 she used to get up between 4 and 5 every morning. I went to the GP to beg for help I was so tired and his suggestion was.....
"Go to bed early!!"

Not massively helpful I know but actually ultimatly it was the only way to ensure we got enough sleep.

I have 3 Dd's 2 are early risers and 1 is an owl. I have never ever managed to change their sleep patterns.

If super nanny isnt working for you (and she says herself that her methods will need adapting for children with SN's) I would stop and find your own path to maximum sleep.

Good luck

Thanks all. I am honestly not bothered at the moment about the lack of sleep for me as like you say Ineed I go to bed early enough to cope and I'm in a position currently where I can arrange myself round ds.

But I do get concerned for him because he does get tired in the afternoon but won't stop and his behaviour suffers tremendously, he attacks other children a lot when he is tired and can't maintain attention on anything for a minute.

Moomummymoo I darent try that approach at the moment I have heard that before though. But I have never found ds wake for any reason after about 3am and go back to sleep. He just gets his on switch stuck!

I am going to go back to what I had been doing for the time being I think, letting him get in my bed when he wakes and just lying there. I think he has enough to deal with at the moment with starting school and at least that way he is calm and resting if not sleeping!

Thanks all

Hi don't want to hijack but are going through sleep hell with dd2 at the moment , she has autism and is on 4 mg of melatonin but she has been waking between 12.30 and 2.00 am and staying awake till 4.30 she then has a couple of hours nap before school bus

Hi autumn we do always seem to be having similar troubles with our dc! Your dd has just started school too hasn't she, has this got worse since she started?

Houses hi I swear we have twins , things have definitely got worse since dd2 started school, she's more settled at school now but her sleep is dreadful

How is it going this week autumn? I'm am having dreadful behaviour and Ds is getting up at around 4am every day today was 3.30am he is so tired.

I just don't know what to do with him. He came in my bed and did lie quietly and I think may have dozed off for half an hr. He keeps attacking children at school apparently and is trashing stuff at home.

Same here! Dd2 bit her brother yesterday and had a huge tantrum over a cornetto,

Keep reading about how girls with autism bottle things up and aren't aggressive ! Dd2 has clearly missed reading that