Any tips on strategies for ADHD teens not coping at school

[lucydaniels4658]

DD 14 is struggling at school it is heartbreaking seeing her so fed up .
The issues are pretty much every aspect of school . I really want to support her to succeed at the moment i'd be surprised if she makes another year in school due to the amount of "trouble" she is! The biggest issues are her organisation even if i overlook her homework and pack it she manages to lose it ,her pe kit is "lost " every other week ,along with stationary planners bus passes she also loses her trainers clothes etc . This is a very expensive issue my bank is battered daily by!
Obviously lack of concentration ,working slowly ,chatting and blurting things out are the other daily battles she faces . Teachers aren't sympathetic and as much as i understand it must be frustrating at times for them it is making the situation far worse. The more they push down with sanctions for things she finds "unfair" the more she defies and can be very snappy ,abrupt and angry .They have told her friends to "stay away from her trouble by association" Things have got so bad I have had to make an official complaint (can't go into all details) .
We are awaiting CAHMS but its a very slow process . I have tried sanctions/rewards but this only seems to make things worse . There are no local schools with any space at present .At home she is mostly lovely I think this is down to me knowing her inside out so know every task needs at least 20 prompts and most things vanish! She has her moments as all teens do .
Has anyone been through a similar issue? I'm just so worried.

If the issues are every aspect of school, there is no other school your daughter could go to, and she is "mostly lovely" at home, could home education be an option?

My little one with ADHD is only eight so I don't have experience of supporting teens at school. I'm home educating her because even if I let my imagination run wild and create the most supportive possible school environment for her in my mind's eye, I just can't see it working for her. Thing is, if I started from scratch and produced an ideal environment in which she could live and learn, it would not bear much resemblance to school at all.

Your daughter's school seems to be particularly crap at supporting her, but there is only so much support which can be bolted on to an environment which is fundamentally unsuitable anyway.

I could have written exactly your message about my son (12) who is the sweetest, kindest boy but has the same issues as your daughter. It is heartbreaking to see him trying so hard and getting so demoralised by the endless sanctions and detentions handed out. I know that the school have to have discipline policies but they are making the situation much worse for DS, and the l dont understand that he simply cant be more organised, no matter how hard he tries. I dont have any answers for you, I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one struggling with this.

Does she have a statement or EHC plan. We also learnt by bitter experience not to sanction at home for things happening in school - when school is a miserable and challenging place kids need their home to be a safe place.

I could also have wrote some of this about my ds. So you're certainly not alone.

Try to get a EHCP initiated as that should identify all needs.

In my honest opinion your dd should NOT be punished for things that are related to her condition anyway. But this is also a bug bear with me.

Thanks so nice to know (although sorry for you) other people have the same struggles.
I get lots of looks and comments like "well she needs to knuckle down/buck her ideas up etc" easier said than done! DD doesn't have a statement but has been supported in previous schools.

I have a diagnosis of ADD ( and AS), and really feel for your DD, as it is a real pain! if it's any consolation,I have managed to get my impulsivity under control (well most of the time anyway . I have no tips for improving concentration but a couple for organisation . You probably already do that but 1) put her bus pass in a little plastic wallet, the types you get in conference to put your name in and attached on one of these extendable key ring and attached it to her school bag. 2) try various colours folders for all the different subject,to help with filing in paper work, this works amazingly well 3) would she be allowed to type all her homework\ scan and e-mail in so it doesn't get lost ( I think we need to use technologies as much as possible. 4) pe kit, keep one spare in school at all time ( perhaps ask if she can use a non official kit so it is less costly). 5) use postit whenever you can! - have you been on ADDitude website, it is full of tips?

Thankyou Molly good tips .I will look on the website you suggested.
Its just so irritating that every day recently has been chaotic I think school think punishing her enough will stop her but it just makes her way more defiant towards them .

the thing is that punishing is disheartening and will be frustrating for her because she can't help it. It's not her fault. I've driven my family mad for my lack of concentration when in conversation, they thought that when I got diagnosed it would stop because I had realised how different my behaviour was. But it didn't because, I can not control it. What your DD needs is support and understanding. this is what the school should have in place.

Oh golly,please go in and ask for a meeting with the Headteacher.She desperately needs to be supported.My ds,14,has ASD and has recently been allowed drop PE altogether as he felt so humiliated each time with his clumsiness/ineptitude at games/poor ball skills etc and is now so much happier ...kept losing the gear also!
He has also been allowed drop a couple of subjects so is down from 11 to 8 now and is finding it so much easier.
Your dd really needs to be supported in school...it is appalling that she is disciplined and punished for lack of concentration and slow work etc!It really is going to prevent her from achieving in school .
You must address this with the school for your daughters sake....honestly,the poor child suffering this every day is truly dreadful.The school have a duty to support her..I assume she has a formal diagnosis etc!

One little tip, scan her completed homework and email it to the relevant teacher.

Oops, I see Molly already suggested that with loads of other good ideas, sorry, blame my whole day migraine