wondering if anyone can help, is it worth having toddler screened for autism?

[quietly1]

Hi everyone,
My son is 22 months and I've been concerned for months now about his speech development and behaviour. Everyone thinks I'm mad though so I keep putting off going to the doctors.
He could say a few words at 1, then stopped saying anything until 17 months. He says dada, muma, mamaa (grandma) kitty, ta, beep beep and nee naw (last 2 obviously not really words, just vehicle sounds). He tries to sing songs though, he'll sing "taaa te te" for 'time for your check up' from Doc McStuffins.

He doesn't try to communicate what he wants by pointing or anything, he just cries and it's a guessing game. It's hit and miss whether he'll respond to his name and he won't look where I point. He is so angry! He has so many tantrums a day. Sometimes it can be 3 an hour. He's difficult to take anywhere, every day at school pick up he has a tantrum. It's really difficult, because I really feel like we can't go anywhere, it always ends in disaster. Everyone says "oh terrible 2's remember those" I fail to believe that most people who say this have had to deal with this level of tantruming, he's been doing it since he was 12 months now. He's my third so l've been there with the terrible 2's phase before.

The other thing though is between tantrums he's cuddly and smiley and he does make eye contact.

I think that we'll probably have to get speech therapy at some point, and I'm wondering if the tamtrums are frustration because he can't tell us what he wants. But don't know if I should ask for him to be checked for autism, I've been told the eye contact & smileyness rules it out but on online tests he comes out as high risk...

Who told you eye contact & smilieness rule our autism? Dd has eye contact and is smilie nu nevertheless has autism (on the more severe end).

Which online tests did you do?
Have you looked at the M Chat? If that test flags up a high risk, then print out the results and take them to the GP and demand a referral to a developmental paed.

Unfortunately, you cannot just get 'checked' for autism. It can only be diagnised (and ruled out) by a developmental paed (usually on conjunction with SALT and OT) and getting toand assessment for Asd takes usually a long time (depending where you live - up to 2 years). So really, the first step should be a referral to a dev paed.
Also worth sorting a hearing test to rule out hearing issues first

www.m-chat.org/mchat.php

Sorry for the typos

Have you had his hearing checked?
That could cause speach delay .
Ds has severe autism but he's the most smiley cuddly boy ever so that's a load of tosh.

I did think that it was a rubbish that kids with autism weren't smiley and cuddly. It was a child care worker who told me he absolutely couldn't have autism.
Did m-chat and it flagged high risk, thanks for the advice will print out and take to the docs. Haven't had his hearing checked but will ask about that too.

Family keep telling me to leave it alone and he'll get there in the end, stop comparing to other kids etc. But it's not that, I'm living with him and see a lot more than they do.

Defo take the m-chat results to GP. and don't let them fob you off with the wait and see nonsense.
re family - this is a very common response. But as you say, they don't live with your DS. Much easier to put the head in the sand for them.

My health visitor assured me there was obviously nothing wrong with my son as he was pretending to make a cup of tea with a tea set and 'autistic children don't pretend'. He was about 2 at the time and I knew there was something not quite typical about him.

Eventually I managed to get someone to take my concerns seriously and at the age of almost 8 he was finally diagnosed with Asperger's.

You know your son best and if you are concerned then you need to listen to your 'mummy instincts'

Thanks so much. I'll give the doctor a call tomorrow and try to get an appointment. Will also write a proper list down with all my concerns. I won't back down, it's good to go in thinking that, because I've been fobbed off about my own health in the past. I'm not very assertive. But if I can go in with a clear aim of what I want to come out with (thanks to all your help) I'll be prepared.

I agree with the other posters who have said get it checked. One thing that struck me from your OP, was about him always having a tantrum on the school run! My Dd3 used to to this and for years we didnt understand why and then I realised that I used to switch the TV off without waiting for the the program to finish. This was what was triggering the meltdowns that were massive and sometimes lasted for the whole school run until we got back home
It may not be that that is triggering your Ds to melt down but you never know.

Once we solved the mystery the meltdowns over leaving the house pretty much stopped!!

Oh and there was something posted on here a while ago about Mums knowing when their child has difficulties and that we are nearly always right, go with your gut instinct and get him checked.

Good luck

My DS was similar at that age but he had no words at all. I found the GP to be useless - I told him my son didn't speak at 26 months and he told me that his nephew didn't speak until 3 and to bring DS back in a year if I was still concerned .

In my NHS Trust you can self refer to the Speech and Language Team. We did this and had a meeting at the health centre and then three months later the SALT visited us at home. By then it was obvious it wasn't just a speech delay and she kept emphasising his lack of engagement and so she referred us to the community paediatrician.

So if you have no luck with the GP, then going via SALT could be another option. I don't think 22 months is too young as it will take a long time to get referred and assessed and the sooner you start the better.

We can self-refer here too, so it's definitely worth looking into. There also used to be SALT drop-ins at children's centres. I don't know if those still happen but it's worth a try.

I had a similar experience to JJXM. Ds1 was seen by the SALT and she quickly offered to refer him to the Paed for an assessment.

Good luck.

This was the worst phase of my life as a special needs mother. Looking back my daughter was autistic the day she was born. I feel for you.

Unless you can go private and see a SALT with ASD experience (I hear Margo Sharp is quite good) or a development Paediatrician like Diane Smyth or Daphne Keen, my experience has shown that this country doesn't do much till they are almost 3. So start pushing people now. You can apply for a statement of education needs or the new education plan now.

What I do think helped and I wish I had done more was, therapy and keeping a diary - written as well as video.

Some books that might help:

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Verbal-Behavior-Approach-Disorders/dp/1843108526

www.amazon.co.uk/Let-Me-Hear-Your-Voice/dp/0709063466/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412592938&sr=1-1&keywords=let+me+hear+your+voice

www.amazon.co.uk/More-Than-Words-Communication-Children/dp/0921145144/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412592952&sr=1-2&keywords=hanen

I agree trust your instincts. Loss of words at any age is a red flag. My son spoke from 8 months until 2 and then stopped / regressed. Sometimes signs emerge more strongly between 2-3. My son had a late regression, at 2 I wouldn't have ticked many MCHAT boxes but by 2.5 I was ticking most of them. DS looked like he was making eye contact but he was actually looking at my mouth. apart from when his regression really hit, he's always been very cuddly with me.