I think they want my ds out

[soapboxqueen]

We are currently going through the statementing process for my ds. He is bright but lashes out quite a bit and struggles with cooperating in order to do any work. He has ASD.

The language from the school has been very much that they cannot cope as of late. Many comments about dealing with things in 'mainstream', how difficult it is for everyone eg staff, other pupils, other parents. How they have to think about the impact on everyone else. To me things is all language gearing up to 'we cannot support this child, he needs to leave'

Problem is, there is no special school or base unit that would suit him in our area. Even the ed psych and sp & l teacher said so due to the fact that he doesn't have a learning disability.

What do I do? I feel that I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Once he is out of mainstream I think it would be hard to get him back in. I fear schools would just refuse saying they couldn't provide for him. Even though the ed psych said it would be a piece of cake.

Thanks in advance

Hi soapbox and welcome to the board

It is a difficult place to be when your child can cope academically but not with the whole mainstream package!

There are a few of us on the SN boards in similar situations. Some of us found more inclusive mainstream schools who were able to meet the needs of our children, some children attend independent specialist settings fir children with HFA/Aspergers, some have tried schools for children with emotional, social and behaviour difficulties (dont discount these as the staff can be brilliant) and I know a fair few personally who are home edding.

This school or your local SS are not your only options, your Local Authority should habe published their local offer by now (try google)and there should be lists of schools on there.

Good luck

Have you looked into the independent sector - no idea where you are but schools like Breckenborough (North Yorkshire - technically an EBD school but mainly HFA/Aspergers/ADHD) or Cruckton Hall (near Shrewsbury) should be able to meet both behavioural and academic needs. There are several others throughout the country. The LEA may well kick up a fuss (as the fees are ££££) but if they have no provision suitable then they will usually concede. Once it is on a child's statement that they can be violent mainstream school's can be reluctant to accept them in our experience.

I've been in your position OP.
It might just be that your DS's particular school can't cope rather than him needing a ss. Some ms schools are a lot better than others when it comes to SEN.
DS's first ms school tried to kick him out age 4 and had excluded him. He has ASD and very challenging behaviour. They were saying similar things to your DS's school. They had completely segregated DS from the rest of the school population, banned him from going out at break times, he had to eat dinner with the teachers etc etc it was awful. We ended up moving area's so he naturally left that school and I found a very inclusive ms school in the new area. He managed in that ms school with full time 1:1 (some periods of 2:1) until the end of year 3. He then spent year 4 also in the ms school while we looked for a ss for him. He was unable to go to the local ss because he doesn't have learning difficulties but he is now at an independent special school for autistic children. He is in a class with 4 other children who are at a similar academic level and have challenging behaviour. I had to go through SENDIST to get his place but it was worth it in the end.

It might be worth looking at another ms school or looking at the independent sector.

Sympathies soapbox, I have just logged in to post a very similar thread! So tough isn't it

OneInEight- can you tell us how to go about finding information about specialist independent schools? I have been googling fruitlessly!

PassThe Prosecco. You could try these two sites:

www.gabbitas.co.uk/Aboutus/Ourpublications/SchoolsforSpecialNeeds.aspx

www.nasschools.org.uk/schools/

You can find a list of independent special schools on here

www.specialneedsguide.co.uk/

Thanks everyone.

Tbh I chose this school because it was better with sen children. The other local schools I wasn't too impressed with.

I've looked at the independent schools too and again they aren't really suitable because he has no learning difficulties.

I can see that there are facilities in other parts of the country so obviously they do exist, just not here.

I'm hoping due to lack of options if the school do get more adamant that they cannot cope, the lea with put pressure on.