Secondary school open days with DS

[lottiemungo]

Am really undecided about whether it's a good idea to take my yr6 DS with AS to the secondary school open days with me. I think I know the right one for him already (great track record for supporting kids with ASD), and would like to show it to him. But am concerned that before it's a done deal he might fixate on something negative about it (the smell etc) and argue against it. Cue massive conflict. But all his pals and classmates are visiting with their parents and I thought it could be a good introduction to the whole idea. Any thoughts/ experiences?

I did take him on the open day. We went nice & early, so it wasn't too crowded. I asked what he most wanted to see (Science experiments) and we did that as a reward for him tolerating a tour of the Learning Support department (which is what I wanted to see). We didn't go to the Head's speech, which helped.

Two years later, and he has just finished a happy and successful Y7 at the school. He has been invited by the Chemistry teacher to demonstrate a Science experiment at the upcoming Open Day.

we have one tonight - I went last year so know what to expect - the school has the only unit in county and as per every year, tonight will be locked shut and the senco will be in the library = last year they gave me a glossy leaflet about the unit which clearly states if you have ASD then not the school for you. the senco also proceeded to tell me that they may well not accept my daughter as her levels to low (she doesn't have a statement yet) and even if she did get in would be left to flounder to at least January and all nicely said in front of her which is something I regret now - so im undecided whether to take her again tonight

Dd3 was completly freaked out by all the people when we took her in yr5, so last year we went to an open morning with one other family, we had a tour guide and saw lots. The senco and some of her team were around in the support centre and instead of listening to the HT's speach we got a chance to chat with him in the dining room over pizza and coffee!!!

If the schools you are looking at have open mornings I would recommend it.

Dd3 is in yr 7 now and so far has done really well, the cracks are appearing a little now but we are seeing the senco later so hopefully they will be sorted.

Good luck

Thanks for your responses- all v different experiences. (Btw excellent to hear from Thefirst and Ineed that secondary school has gone well so far, v encouraging to hear!). Skipping the headteacher's talk seems to be a good idea.

Definitely take him. We found that one of out local schools had masses of fluorescent lights which caused sensory problems that DS couldn't cope with. If we had gone on our own we wouldn't have known.

With my eldest DS - I went on my own to the open mornings / arranged an independant visit with the senco etc in advance of the official opening evening. By doing so I got a feel for the places first and mentally crossed some of them in my head that just wouldn't have worked for him.

I still went in the evening but with him, doing the 'rounds' as all his class were. This way I was able to 'guide' him towards the most suitable school... Emphasizing to him the things he would either love / hate and steering him that way . Sounds very manipulative and it was - but it meant he felt he had a choice in the matter, when really I was a forgone conclusion which school could / would meet his needs.

I also made it very clear at the start that as much as I valued and would listen to his opinions and views, the ultimate decision was mine as his parent.

(sounds like I am so horrible and controlling but when you have a child who can fixate on something / someone and that would become their reasoning for going - I had to ensure that the decision was made on something more rational than " I like the desks there" )

Thanks for the replies. I totally understand you sugarfix re the 'steering'. The fixating- positively or negatively- is what I worry about! If he were to see a 'coding club' poster anywhere he would instantly decide that's where he's going! (I'd love to see a coding club poster but need to base decision on wider issues!) But I think I know the right school for him and I think it would be good for him to see it, so I think I will go for it, but skip the long headteacher's talk.

I took dd1, I have only taken her to the school I think best suits her, we have been twice and she loves it, was a bit overwhelmed by the size but loved everything else. We spoke to the SENCO together and went through what was on offer to children on the spectrum, she can't wait to start next year.