In the process of getting diagnosis ADHD/ASD DD nearly 7 - worried

[Allegrogirl]

Dd1 has always been hard work. As I baby I 'joked' she was hyperactive as she struggled to sleep and was unable to relax. She was a bolter as a toddler, is dreamy and disorganised but behaviour generally been manageable.

Now in Y2 and things have been getting worse at school. Meltdowns, refusal to work, anxiety and increasing incidences of hitting out at the other children.

Just had a consultant appointment. Letter has arrived suggesting assessment ADHD (no surprise there). What has surprised me is that she is being referred to the ASD pathway. I wasn't expecting this and it is worrying me far more than the ADHD.

I obviously have a limited understanding of ASD as DD has always had good eye contact, makes friends easily and is very imaginative, not obsessive about things (is a worrier though) so it didn't occur to me her problems could be ASD related.

I'm all over the place at the moment. Have another DD, a demanding job and a husband with long term joint and chronic pain condition and I'm not sure how to cope with this.

Any word of advice appreciated.

I think that I'm at the same stage as you with my DS. He is the same age and we have recently been referred to the paediatrician for an ADHD assessment - I'm seeing him on Thursday.

At least once we know what it is that is affecting our children, we and school can tailor everything to suit them rather than just using guess work.

Sezam

Hi sezam i read some of your recent thread on AIBU with a lot of sympathy. As much as I am reluctant to label it seems necessary for the school to treat the child as having some behaviour they struggle to control as opposed to just being naughty.

My DS had AS, while being assessed they also started assessing him for ADHD, which I was fairly convinced that he did not have, but was told that they prefer to have a look at everything just to make sure they're not missing anything.

I was right, he doesn't have ADHD.

I have known a few children who have a dual diagnosis where a very obvious (to the parents) case of ADHD was also masking ASD as the ADHD traits were much more obvious.

So while it is possible that you've only noticed ADHD type traits, they will also use it just to rule one or the other out.

In other words, it's worth thinking about, but don't worry about it too much if you're not seeing it, if it's not there, they won't diagnose it.

He has AS, that typo made it sound either like it went away or something happened to him, lol.

He does have AS and he is fine, just to clear that up.

Yes, it is very frustrating that even in the meantime, they behave although it is just a phase that they are going through and one day they will wake up a "normal" child.

It's a shame that the children have to endure these years of being treated so badly (and us, the poor mother's of these "naughty" "uncontrollable" children) - they must know. Well, I know mine does, he has enough people and friends that just see him as the one that's naughty all of the time.

It's a shame with all of the stimulation of a classroom that school hardly ever see the calm, creative, sensitive boy that I have at home.

Thanks for the replies. I am very glad we are getting somewhere with assessments but it's turning DD's problems into something real rather than 'she's spirited, a handful, excitable' etc.

I've looked at an autism website out of interest today and came across Pathological Avoidance Syndrome which sums up DD more than anything else I have seen. Now I'm even more worried! Must step away from the net at least until we've talked to the HCPs.

I want to solve it all now. I think I can see where DD's anxiety and control issues come from.

Resist the urge to adopt a 'psychological' explanation for 'problems' with control - this is likely to be a blind ally (not to mention self depreciatory/blaming)

From your initial post, I was about to reply asking if you had come across PDA - and then I saw from your subsequent post that you have.

My DS was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and anxiety at the end of year 1, and ASD with a PDA profile, during year 2. He's now 7.8 and in year 3. He is still struggling terribly, but at least we know know why now.

Having an explanation other than "he's difficult/spoilt/naughty:high maintenance/challenging" etc has been invaluable, mainly in my own mind, but also to access the right sort of support.

The thing with "labels" is that they have a habit of being given to children by people who dont actually understand what is going on behind the child's behaviour. So children who dont have a diagnosis (who need one) get "labels" such as, naughty, lazy, stubborn, spiteful, defiant.... I could go on.

Getting the correct diagnosis for your child can really only help to get her the right support.

Good luck