Suing nursery for not picking up DS's possible ADHD (he's now nearly 7)

[sezamcgregor]

DS has been challenging since around 3 years old having started at nursery A at 10 months.

When he was 3, nearly 4 he started going 2 days a week to nursery B (still attending nursery A 3 days) who commented on his behaviour. Spoke to nursery A who denied any problem. Thought as they had had him for so long that they knew best (I'm a single parent in my 20s) so muddled through and thought nursery B were being a bit precious.

Started school at 4, nearly 5 and school had an awful time with "challenging behaviour". As nursery A had seemingly had few boundaries with him, I assumed it was just a struggle to come to terms with the boundaries at school.

Teacher did not do anything and was just very very negative and so I moved his school in the May of the reception year.

Had a referral last July to Ed Psyc and School Health and have had Behaviour Support, School Health and SureStart involvement for almost 18 months and have recently been referred to Pediatrician for a possible ADHD diagnosis who I am seeing on Thursday (HURRAH!!)

I just feel like if nursery had been more proactive 3 years ago, this all could have been sorted out so long ago rather than him now having his 3rd year of school totally fucked up and negative by teachers still trying "normal child" tactics with DS when they obviously will not work.

School have commented that the nursery are notorious for not alerting parents/professionals to possible additional needs in case parents choose to move their children.

I just wondered if it would be possible to sue them or something similar because really, what did I give them the best part of £40,000 for??

What do you think the nursery should have done differently?

If you felt they were missing something and not giving him the best and most appropriate provision, why did you keep him there?

It's rare for ADHD to be diagnosed before the age of 6, anyhow. And, even if the nursery had noticed, the diagnosis would still not have been made by them.

DS1 was a livewire through nursery. Diagnosed with ASD with associated hyperactivity at 3.5. It was 3 more years before he was diagnosed with ADHD and treated for it.

Sorry if I seem blunt, but I just can't see what you're hoping to achieve by suing, in this case.

Suing? What for? Asaik, they don't dx adhd until later and dx is made by paeds, not nursery staff. You could have taken him out if you were that concerned, taken him to the GP and pushed for a referral.

If you want to help your DS, put your energy into getting him the right support now. Don't waste time on trying to go after the nursery. You won't get anywhere.

Are you kidding? If you are going to sue anyone, why not also sue both of his schools for labelling him as challenging and being so negative rather than trying harder to get to the bottom of his behaviour. Why did you expect nursery to identify his his possible ADHD when school has not? It has seemingly taken 18 months of the involvement of several professionals before you have even got close to a diagnosis. Nursery B may have identified more of his issues because he was older when he arrived there, much of the behaviour he exhibited at nursery A was probably much less noticeable as being different when he was a toddler. YABU.

I think it's pretty standard for our kids symptoms to be missed by various and multiple people. It's up to you really if you want to go down that route. Personally I find being a sen parent draining so all my fight goes into my sons future. Yes the past really truely sucks but it's lost. However the future can be moulded. But that's just my personal view of what's best for my kids. You could find middle ground a put in a formal complaint - but if you was eg going to fight for a statement - do you have the spare energy and will power? Good luck either way

I suppose that really, I'm just very frustrated with it all taking so long.

DS was referred to Ed Psyc and School Health last July and Ed Psyc though she's discussed DS with the HT has decided not to assess him yet. I've seen SH three times, the last time in July this year when she referred him to Pediatrician.

In CAF/TAF meetings, HT has commented that it is a usual occurrence for the nursery to ignore challenging behaviour rather than investigate it - or, it would seem, even mention it to the parents. When I asked them following Nursery B's comments about their concerns, they denied that they saw any such behaviour when he was in their care which I can see now was a lie.

I suppose my question really is "can I do anything about it to prevent it happening to other children in the future" as it is frustrating to think that referrals etc could have been made much sooner.

I'm just feel especially frustrated today.

FFS he hasn't even been diagnosed yet and you're already planning to sue! Children develop at different rates in all areas, including social and emotional and it sounds to me like his nursery felt able to meet his needs while he was in their care. It's rare that a child under 6 will be given a diagnosis or even assessed for ADHD and even at 6 or 7 a child may fail to meet all of the criteria as it is hard to distinguish between immaturity and sen.

My son was expelled from a montessori nursery when he was 3 years old. They simply told me he wasn't allowed back. Yep, just like that.

Fast forward 7 years - he has a diagnosis of all the DYS (severe dyslexia, dyspraxia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia) and he has ASD (Aspergers' Syndrome) ....

That 'wonderful' montessori missed all the signs as well as the Early Years Intervention Officer who observed him all those years ago.

I let it be as I had bigger fish to fry

They wouldn't have diagnosed ADHD at 3 anyway.

You are just upset and quite possibly feeling a bit guilty too.
Let it go. Concentrate on doing productive things now.

It's hard - I want to stop things like this happening to other kids. I had my hv and nursery say my son was fine just lazy. Once I was in tears with my hv and something was said that made me put in a formal complaint about her and the slt. Yes they got a big telling off but son still got no slt and still had sen. My hv still tells me it will be fine dispite my son being diagnosed and getting dla! So I think energy and frustration all need to go back into your son.
Phone your ep and ask when he's going to assess. That's what I did when my schools ep refused to see him. He was very rude to me but I cut him down to size and he did assess my son. Belive me I am beyond frustrated and mad. But sons life has changed for the better because that gets channelled back to fighting his corner.
It's never going to be a easy road. You will always have to fight. Like kissing a frog to find a prince. There's going to be a 99 idiots to deal with to find that one person that can actually help

Just popped back with another thought and polter got there first.

If his symptoms were severe at an early age, you would most probably have struggled with him at home. Chances are that home was familiar and you knew how he ticked and so he didn't create much of a problem to you, there. The same goes for the first nursery. He'd been there since he was a baby and knew the routine and they knew him. Staff may have known, without making a big thing of it, that young wee mgregor benefited from a good balance of bouncy time and quiet time and may have been one of the many 2 or 3 year olds who needed a bit more help with getting dressed or following instructions.

As soon as he rocks up at new nursery or school, it is all new to him and he doesn't know the staff or routine. He is confused and then his behaviour begins to standout.

I totally sympathise with your frustration over how long everything takes…. My DS’s nursery completely failed to notice he had an ASC and he’d been there since he was six months old. In fact the nursery were so used to him and met his needs so well and it was all so familiar and comfy for him that he behaved beautifully for them. It was only when he hit school, in completely new busy surroundings and with far fewer staff, that it all came out.

But your DS is on the path to getting help now. And he's still only 7. Yes it all goes so much slower than we hope but with you on his side he’ll get there I wouldn’t spend energy on the past, you’ll need it for the future.

Have to wonder why you didn't take any action yourself but expected nursery to do it?

FWIW we knew there was something up with DD when she was 3. (we already have older children and one has ADHD). At 4 we had a voluntary organisation visit who told us we weren't imagining it. We were referred to community paed when she was 5 who told us nothing wrong. Back to a different community paed when she was 6 who said classic ADHD, and nothing really kicked in until she was 7.

Even if nursery had done something, you would still be in the same position now. You paid them to child-mind your DS, not to diagnose him.

Forget suing. You can't get legal aid for it, solicitors won't do no-win no-fee education negligence claims, and you can't get insurance against your potential liability for the other side's costs. That's because education negligence claims have had such a poor success rate that, reasonably enough, no-one wants to take any financial risk on them.

"because really, what did I give them the best part of £40,000 for??"

Erm, childcare?

Hello :-)

Thank you for your replied.

DS has always been hard work. I just assumed that he was a bit lively and that it was me that was struggling because nursery was rated outstanding and I'm a young, first-time single mum and just thought that it was my lifestyle that made me struggle - and that DS wasn't very different just that he was more boisterous, loud and well, naughty.

Nursery mentioned about naughty behaviour but it was only when he went to nursery B that had fewer children (and perhaps more child rather than fee focussed staff) that they told me that yes, he was naughty, but strategies that would usually work were not working with him.

When I spoke with nursery A about nursery B's comments, they more or less implied that they were lying telling me that they never saw those behaviours while he was in their care.

I just feel that we're 2 years behind and it's very frustrating thinking what a time DS and I are having with school as they keep trying to force my lovely square peg DS into their circular hole - because, of course, if they keep trying, one day he will fit. Believe me when I say how forcefully I would like to encourage her twunt size peg into his square hole and see how she enjoys it.

clam - I would dispute the level of care he received in that his needs so obviously were not met.