Behaviour issues on the increase... any ideas

[minionmadness]

Ds ASD (6) just gone into YR2.

He has always struggled with his behaviour, his fuse is very short and is lit by the smallest of things at times. He is very demand avoidant and we use various methods at home to avoid placing too many demands. However he had a good latter half of YR1.

Behaviour issues are now on the increase at home since going into YR2 and whilst I expected this to a degree for all the obvious reasons, I went to see CT who confirmed there were daily issues and that there was a new boy in the class who ds has taken a dislike too (very unusual for ds). I explained that these issues need to be reported in the home/school diary or how else can we address and CT confirmed this would happen going forward. Still wasn't too concerned as it's still early days and his new CT needs to adjust to me too

Yesterday his NT twin brother reported seeing ds in another classroom... no mention in home/school diary so I asked CT to explain.

Apparently yesterday his CT went through the visual prompts and expectations with him and basically he gets 3 requests to alter behaviour... followed by a timed visit to a YR1 classroom. It has also been reported that today during an activity ds pointed a pair of scissors at CT and "held a stare" when getting frustrated, then did a similar motion with a stick at the TA. I'm very concerned and admit I'm struggling to understand where this type of behaviour is coming from.

I'm torn... clearly we ALL have to address the behaviour issues but this is what they do with all the children and to my mind they should be putting more effort into understanding why these behaviours are happening although I appreciate that negative behaviour needs to be followed by a sanction.

Any ideas...

Thanks Polter Ds will always say sorry and agree that the behaviour is unacceptable... still doesn't stop it happening again because we are not getting to the root of the outbursts. I do admit I too struggle to understand at times too... much better than I used to be though. He is just so unpredictable!

I'm just so frustrated that we go through this at meetings then... bang his new CT reacts by trying to "discipline it out of him" so to speak. He is washing his hands so much that they are nearly raw which is a clear indication that he is not coping.

He has 2 years in school if it were possible to do this it would have worked by now and you would think educated individuals would get this.

There is a possibility that these outburst are actually panic attacks. Next time this happens at home, try to not look cross ( that's hard!), go down to his level and do whatever you would do if he was having an "obvious" panic attack ( hug, reassurance, rub his back, tell him it's ok,not too worry..). Avoid eye contact if he doesn't like it. The first time I took this step with DS (dx AS), it was quiet life changing and made me realise that his outburst were panic attack, because the reassurance made him calm down much quicker. If you establish this at home, then you will have more strength and will be better equipped to fight at school.

Molly This is exactly the way we handle ds at home during an outburst. School obviously don't! Hence my frustration. I have lost count of the times I have discussed this with school.

I don't believe that ds has PDA, although he is a child with extreme demand avoidance so the strategies we use are the same recommended for a child with PDA.

I think they need to be concentrating on at least three issues here:

1. Finding out what the trigger is for the behaviour.

2. Helping ds with his issues with the new boy. This could be anything from managing their relationship within the classroom, eg having them work together under supervision, through to seating them separately where possible.

FWIW I found that my two boys each had a child that they took an instant dislike too. In both cases they ended up becoming very good friends with them. It turned out that the other children had been trying to make friends with them but my DSes had mis-read this as "X keeps annoying me and won't leave me alone."

3. Coming up with some strategies of what your ds can do if he feels angry. My ds used to have a corner of the classroom where he was allowed to escape to. Over the years this included a quiet book corner, a table with a sheet draped over it to make a den, and a small pop-up tent.

It's not enough to just keep punishing for something that he can't really control.

Thanks all...

It's bloody hard! I appreciate that compared to some ds is at least in a school that on the surface seem to have ds's best interest at heart and we have regular meetings. I just think they revert to what works for the other children when they run out of idea's.

I have also tried to keep the relationship good and although I am very direct in my approach I always remain professional and do feel the senco is on board. I just have a niggle that the CT says all the right things in the meeting then doesn't have the resources in class carry these things out.

Maybe it's time to get tough (er) !