SENCO meeting and provision at lunchtime

[QueenVictoria11]

I'm hoping some you knowledgeable folk can give me some pointers.

I am seeing SENCO and LA ed psych this week about DS (5). He has had private diagnosis of HFA since beginning of reception and was on SA+. He manages really well at school and likes it, but needs support with his social skills. School has never offered any specialist or specific support and as he's well-behaved and very able, don't see any issues.

He has, over the summer, been diagnosed with HFA by nhs paed too, and I have applied for SA which has prompted the meeting. Whether the LA decide to assess or not I am hoping that school will now accept DS's difficulties and put some social skills provision in place for him such as a weekly session or something.

I have also asked SENCO several times if they would consider running some lunchtime clubs so that DS has some structure and support. Each time she has told me that there won't be any clubs and teachers are having their lunch at lunchtime. I printed off the NAS info about why lunchtime and breaktime can be difficult for ASD children and passed it on to her, but got no response. I asked her at the end of last term if she had received it and would there be a possibility of any support and she said "I will repeat what I told you before - no".

I am fed up and really sad to have my son bring pieces of paper home almost every day filled with rows and rows of little circles drawn by him at lunchtime, or lists of numbers or hundreds of squares. This is what he does at lunchtime on a colouring in table in the playground as he does not know how to join in with the play of other children and he is just left, so he fills his time this way. I have about thirty of them that I have kept. It was the same in reception and it's continued. I showed the drawings to the SENCO last term, but no change. He doesn't do these kinds of drawing at home any more although it was an obsession when he was 2-3 years old. I believe he is resorting to this because he does not know what else to do and it makes me sad for him because he is so insightful and responsive to input, if only it were offered.

What can I reasonably expect from school in terms of offering social skills provision and structure or clubs at lunchtime - (he doesn't need 1:1) and what would you be saying to the SENCO?

Please can anyone give me some suggestions! thanks so much. x

My children's school have a lunchtime club which allows children who need it to have a more structured playtime. The children who attend do not even need to have a diagnosis. I thought it was common practise. I think you are right to expect more support from the school. It might be an idea to contact the head-teacher to explain your DS needs to him/her without the senco there. If you have somebody else who can come with you I would bring them too (partner, mum, dad, friend...). What I would also do is put my request into them in writing it tends to have more weight. You could also have a look at the other schools around your way to see what is on offer in your area and how you feel about them.

Thanks.

I agree with you about looking at others schools and the Head is aware of my requests as I have made a point of asking so often. In fact Head and SENCO both avoid me now!

But DS is settled, likes his classmates even if they are not "friends" and he is well-liked too. It would be a big deal for him to move schools so I've trying to get them to do something before it comes to moving him.

I will put my requests in writing though that's a good idea.

I will definitely take someone with me to meeting too, but tricky as lone parent and no family and so have always gone on my own before but will recruit a friend to come this time.

Thanks Polter. Yes I'm looking at other schools both state and independent.

I hear what you're saying about regretting not moving your DS and I think I might feel the same if I left him where he is as they do nothing to challenge him either - he's been assessed above 99th percentile for practical reasoning skills and he's still being given number bonds to 10 and again, I feel like pushy parent when I question it and I am told he IS being challenged, but I don't see it.

I keep being told by school that he's happy and that's what counts and moving him would not be good for him - but I'm not so sure.

I am constantly amazed by the number of schools who refuse to run lunchtime clubs for those who need more support. Why are they so resistant? Don't they realise how it could cut down on all sorts of time-taking problems that they have to deal with because of what happens when some children don't have the support they need. Not to mention increasing the child's happiness

Agreed bigTillyMint. I'm not the first parent who has asked for clubs at lunchtime. Surely all children could benefit.

Down to funding I suppose. as well.

I think they are resistant primarily because of cost and also their inability and or unwillingness to find people to take on such a role at lunchtime.

QVII - SA plus frankly is not really worth the paper its written on. I would look at IPSEA's website now on www.ipsea.org.uk and see about making a personal application for an EHCP. The only people I know of who secured actual lunchtime support for their children only managed to do that by way of a Statement.

But they can't see further than the end of their noses - in the long term it saves on teaching time being spent on sorting out playtime issues/settling children, etc. Grrr!

Put it in writing and ask her to state the reasons why school will not provide support for your ds at lunchtime.
If she doesn't respond escalate it to Head/governors.

thanks agiantwomen I will try that too.

Just move. Really. Their attitude will not get better; very possibly it will just keep getting even worse. Should you need outside support for your ds St a later date, they will lie and undermine you to deny your ds his rights.

I made the mistake of leaving ds in a school like this for similar short-term benefits- it set him back by years, has meant he won't manage a normal mainstream secondary, and has very nearly cost me my health & my job.

I'm that your DS and you were failed so badly by his school.

I think you are very probably right about DS's school though.

That's ok. Every single time I meet a truly nightmarish and uber-pushy parent, I make a point of highly recommending that school to them, and carefully explain how to navigate the published admission criteria

Hi,
My ds struggled with this so much he needed up school refusing as like you we were getting nowhere with the school.

After half a term I phoned the ewo and explained what was happening she said "that at 6 he is too young to be classed as a school refuser "
But she did phone the school and get them to put lunchtime clubs in place

This has benefited my ds and other dc at the school. It might not work for you but could be worth a phone call to your ewo?

Good luck

Have you seen the headTeacher about this? Go over the SENCo s head and if necessary then go over the HT head straight to governors.

Wow. Could've written your post myself. Tbh we stuck it out but I was already to go to the LEA on ours but then head stepped in. nOW they realise the extent of DS1s needs, and school finally agreed to have statement assessment submitted. Lea agreed immediately too! From zero acknowledgement to absolute certainty from everyone. Bizarre!!!

But to get to this stage it has to be said it's been a lot of of hard work and many tears.

Do I regret not moving him? Not really. Only because the schools round here aren't great. Except ours which is outstanding ofsted and very academic, but that means other needs have suffered. I have to say it is improving,but slowly.

You have to consider as I did would you be moving your child from the frying pan into the fire so to speak! The problem is for a long time my child's needs were subtle. Though he was still sat in the playground alone sometimes crying. The psych went to assess him and the teacher said oh yes he always does that. Like that's ok?

How unhappy is your child? Do you have any spies? I.e. Other DCs I. The playground you can ask?

Good luck.