Telling 5yo DS he has autism

[IsItMeOr]

Not sure where to start in thinking about how to tell DS about his diagnosis and hoped I could find some good advice here.

Thanks in advance.

Thanks PolterGoose.

Do you know whether it can be harmful to tell a child about their diagnosis? DH is concerned that we can't "untell" DS.

I wouldn't have thought it was harmful, In fact as they get older knowing the reason they think differently will help them not feel like an outcast or "strange".

I agree with Pirate and Polter It's better to explain in to the best of your ability in a way he understands, it having much of an impact at 5, it's a sort of "oh okay" thing rather than a revelation, but as he gets older he will want to know why he thinks and feels differently so it's best he knows.

We were given DS2's diagnosis in front of him, so that took the decision away, but I generally with telling children as soon as they are able to understand.

We gave him some literature to read, and went for the explanation that everyone's brain works slightly differently, so most people are good at some things and struggle with others. Then gave examples. He accepted the diagnosis very quickly and now sees it as a positive part of his identity.

Thanks again, for all these very helpful thoughts.

DS has no other learning disability. He would have been given an asperger's diagnosis before they changed the whatsit - DCM??

So I think he would be able to understand if we explained it in simple terms.

I think Polter you are right, that some of our reluctance relates to our own experiences. When I got my diagnosis of epilepsy at 12, I was instructed not to tell one set of grandparents (with no explanation). It was only about 25 years later that I have been able to start telling anybody other than DH about it.

We told ds that he has a superpowered brain which often works faster than ours, so please be patient with us mortals

We explained having superpowered brain was called autism, and pointed out a couple of family members who have high functioning asd. We also watched the cbbc programme.

We explained that his super brain worked differently to most other people, and this was why he had a helper in school, to explain things that people with non-super brains said, or did. Also to explain how to do his work, because his work was designed for most people who had non-super brains.

He is very proud of his super powers. We occasionally mention it in reference to his asd traits too. Such as, 'oh yes, ds knows all about trains, that's because he has a superpowered brain and has spent a lot of time learning about them'. Or, 'well, your superpowered brain likes to know all about where we are going and what will happen when we get there, so we will look on the website for pictures'. If he gets frustrated at us for not understanding him we say 'please help me understand, explain it again, because my brain isn't superpowered like yours'.

Is there anything he really likes or is really obsessed with, you can tell him that knowing about whatever is like a super power.