How to deal with comments from other people

[BirdyGoLightly]

My DD has SN and is 3. I don't think other people realise she is 'different' to other toddlers but she does kick in her pushchair when we're out and get a bit cross over random things. I think she is absolutely wonderful and perfect but in am getting sick of comments from strangers when we're out and about. For example:

"Is she still kicking her legs, that's a big strange isn't it?"
"How do you put up with that one"
(Said to someone else) "she's the one always kicking her legs"

I have been very polite so far, I just smile at them. But I'm getting fed up with it. As yet I haven't informed them that she has SN. I don't feel it's any of their business anyway but I imagine that would shut them up.

Does anyone have any tips as to how to deal with these kind of comments?

'Bit' strange I meant

My only suggestion would be to tell them that she has some difficulties and we are seeking professional advice. If you aren't comfortable with that(which is totally understandable), then I can imagine how hard it must be

I just find it amazing how many people feel they can comment on someone else's children. I would never do that to anyone else. It's not as if she's bothering anyone else either, she just kicks because she's excited and happy.

I don't feel comfortable saying that though really, especially as we know her diagnosis so I would have to say what it is. I guess what i really want is to put them in their place a little bit without being rude. But I'm not sure how to do that.

I'm not sure there is a way to both put them in their place AND not give them information.

Unless you phrase it along the lines of "it makes her feel safe when we are out"

I just tell people that ds is disabled, and .... cannot speak/gets overwhelmed by noise etc.

There have been occasions where people have been quite rude, or I have been trying to deal with ds and his sisters in a difficult situation, and I have now decided on these occasions (and after a feisty thread on here!) to print up a simple card stating 'ds has a disability, is non verbal and may struggle in some situations.'

If you really don't want to say that your child is disabled, then I suppose you could just say it is something she does when she is tired?

Ok thanks. I think I will say she is disabled next time, I just resent having to explain anything about her to anyone. I get so many looks when she shouts and I'm sick of it. As though I can't control my toddler, when in fact she really can't help it.

I will do a search for the feisty thread as well!

Tbh I find that you just have to develop a thick skin or you'll be confronting arguing with people all day. sometimes if people are very direct l might say 'he can't really help that' or 'He's very sensitive to noisy places. sometimes I just say that he is autistic. People are going to judge anyway so I'd rather they didn't just assume he was naughty

Agree with soapbox. In general I try to ignore it. On the days when they really push my buttons am on a short fuse, I say DS has a disability. Nothing more, nothing less. I think there is a huge amount of ignorance regarding autism etc so don't even mention it.

It was such a relief when I eventually told some random person that DS had a disability. I was embarrassed and didn't want to put people in an awkward position. But it was so liberating!

Once you do it once, it becomes much easier :)