Really need your thoughts/advice....

[anniebear]

Ellie does 3 days at SN school and is now doing 2 days in Mainstream with a helper provided by her SN School (in the same class as her twin Grace, there is only 1 class per year)

Grace told me that when Ellies helper had her lunch (she has her lunch after Ellie when they are back in class) Ellie needed a wee and the form Teacher had asked Grace to take her

They were 5 at the end of August

I asked Grace how did Ellie wipe herself, wash her hands etc and she said "I did it" Later she told me Ellie had done a poo also

I am quite shocked and too be honest a bit upset. Grace is at school to learn, not to be ehr sisters carer. I have always told her that she never needs to look after Ellie at School. Play with her by all means if she wants to.

By sounds of it she has been her carer for taking her to the loo and cleaning her bottom, defo not her job

Ellie could have ran off, could have slipped off the toilet and banged her head, ran the hot water tap? it's endless what could have happened

Ok, it didn't and it sounds that Grace was a star

Am I being OTT?

Ellie has significent SN, she has a carer at school, is very behind in everything and her 5 year old sister has to take her to the toilet and clean her and wash her hands???????

Obviously there mustn't have been an assistant in the class, but not my problem and defo not Graces!

Sorry to go on!!

This is only Graces version, but it did sound like it happened, I can tell when she's messing!

I would hate to have a word with the Teacher, she is new, don't know how long she has been a Teacher for and she seems nice!!!

I know the SN Coordinator well, should I have a quiet word with her? Should I mention it at Ellies SN School and maybe they will contact Mainstream?? Or Mention it to Ellies carer at Mainstream, but can't see her leaving instructions with the Teacher whilst she has her lunch

Thanks

Oh so sorry, just re read, that was soooooooooooo long!!!!!!

sorry!!

aww bless them . Presumably if Ellie didn't have a twin the teacher would have had to take her and sort her out herself or asked another adult, not another unrelated child. Doesn't seem fair to load it on Grace just because they can. Such a responsibility for a 5yr old. Definitely have a quiet word, senco is probably best.

Thanks

Grace could be off ill next week, what would they do then!!?

I asked Grace if their class rooms assistants were there and she said no

I am so proud of Grace!! She has been a star more than a few times now and how fantastic if her to have done what she did at just turned 5!!

But totally not her responsibility

I agree that it definitely shouldn't be Grace's responsibility. If Grace's version is true then the adults responsible for Ellie's care at school shouldn't be delegating that responsibility to a 5yr-old.

Do you have a local advocacy service for sn children?? They will help you arrange and upkeep the school care for your sn child. They set down clear guidelines for the school and they have to agree to them. That way you can make your point about how you want your daughter cared for in school - toileting needs etc and designate staff for that. It's not fair that your other child has become a carer at such a young age. My dd1 is special needs in mainstream and an agreement has been reached that if she needs toileting etc and the nursery nurse is not there eg at lunch that there is another mamber of staff available.

Does the teacher actually know what is involved in taking Ellie to the toilet?
She may have just thought she needed taking to it, rather than actually assisting.Especially if she is inexperienced in SN.
There is a girl in Dd1s class with SN and sometimes the other kids will take her to the next classroom if the TA isn't there but she doesn't need much help , just showing the right place IYSWIM.

she has been in the class for two days a week for 3 weeks now so she should have got a pretty good idea of what Ellie is like

Also her teacher from her SN School has been in to have a chat with her and do Ellies IEP whilst she is there

I think you need to say something. Sometimes ms schools don't seem to understand what's appropriate and what's not. When ds1 was at mainstream they wanted an older child with a severely autistic sibling (not at mainstream- at special school) to help out ds1 - I thought that was inappropriate, presumably the child concerned needed a break from severe autism, not to have to deal with it at school as well.

I dpon't think you have to be cross as such, but I do think it needs to be raised to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Thanks everyone

Mentioned it to the Head Teacher at Ellie's SN School , she said she needs to ring them anyway so will have a word herself

Phweee!!! lol

How did she get on?

Good idea to speak to the Head at the special school, its often better to get someone else to say what is needed if poss. Are they going to pay Grace an hourly rate?

Not sure Davros, I think Grace will leave year soon and start doing seminars on Meningitis, seizure and Hydrocephalus

I havn't heard from the Head, Ellie isn't at her SN School now till Monday