Me again- re possible ASD- meeting with SENCO what do I need?

[lala21]

DS has just completed a week in Y1 and am about to have senco meeting next week which I asked for. He has exemplary behaviour at school But at home, out and about his life and ours has disintegrated. We have had a past referral to camhs and had behavioural support when he was 3. But then they said I was managing and he would grow out of it. Camhs discharged us as we were not severe enough.

This week he has punched and kicked and hit his way through school for the 1st time ever ( and his violence and ever increasing outbursts at home are on the increase in intensity and length )

I need help more than ever and almost felt relieved when it all kicked off because it meant for the 1st time ever an outside agency ( ie school) had born the brunt of it not me:

My question is what do I go with into that senco meeting.
I may cry and fall apart from the effort of holding it together all these years- I have diaries, videos, my strategies- I need the tools to help him get through school, home time, after school without one of us getting seriously hurt any ideas would be greatly appreciated x x x x

I may cry and fall apart from the effort of holding it together all these years

Massive hugs to you. You sound way, way more prepared than I was. I have cried throughout a number of meetings with my son's SENCo, and today had the indignity of crying down the phone at him. He is fantastic, and is quite happy to ignore my tears and focus on the substance of what I am saying.

Massive hug to you.

It sounds like your son's additional needs at school are simply not being at all met hence all the outbursts later on.

I would certainly be asking the SENCO what support is currently in place and how they are going to help him going forward because what he is having support wise is not meeting his needs.

Look at IPSEA's website www.ipsea.org.uk and apply for an EHCP from your LEA. Make this application yourself and arm yourself with as much information as possible.

If CAMHS were useless I would ask your GP to now refer your son to a developmental paediatrician.

am always overwhelmed when other mums ( parents) take the time to give advice thank you, its so hard so many of us experience so much and yet we all have such similar battles thank you.

very good advice and I also have a gp appointment on Monday for a referral again- thank you LookingThrough and Attila so much

It's fine, Lala. I'm currently at the 'freaking the fuck out' stage myself.

DS is older than yours and I'm lucky that there haven't been violent outbursts, but there are a lot of tantrums, which is beginning to look very odd now he's 9.

He is dyslexic, so he's already with SENCo, but it was noted before the holiday that he also has a processing disorder, and he'd been really struggling with relationships and the like last term particularly. I went to the SENCo last Friday with the vague inkling that he might have ASD, and expected to be told 'no, I think he's fine...'

Instead I got 'Yeah, could be, I'll have him assessed asap.'

The assessor was in this week (which makes it look very likely that SENCo had arranged this beforehand and was waiting for me to catch up), but the report won't be given to me until we meet early October. However she and the SENCo also want me to make a GP appointment to get their side of the assessment and resources going quickly.

I'm in a bit of a daze myself. Like I'm still expecting someone to come out with 'no, our mistake, he's fine really...'

Maybe they still will. [wishful thinking]