Crap - DS HATES new junior school. How best do I turn it round?

[OddFodd]

Urgh - it's a disaster.

He's not been that happy since starting last week but tends to bottle things up. This evening in his bath it all came out - he hates it, the teachers are really shouty and scary, and he is always getting told off. He was sobbing and sobbing and says he doesn't ever want to go back.

Today the head told him off for wearing a hoody (probably my fault for not saying anything but he won't wear anything that isn't zip up because of sensory/coordination issues), she shouted at the children in assembly so much that he couldn't understand anything and got confused, and his teacher sent him to reception ON HIS OWN when I had to pick him up early. Unsurprisingly, he got lost and didn't know why he'd been sent out of class early and some other kid had to go and find him and bring him to the office.

He's on SA+ but I've got no idea of what interventions they've got in place or how they're making reasonable adjustments for his disability. I've emailed a list of recommendations from the ADHD clinic and they (I assume) have all his ILPs etc from his last school but it seems to me that if his teacher is sending him to reception on his own after he's been at the school 4 days that she really has no comprehension of his disability.

What can I reasonably expect from the school and who should I talk to so we can sort things out? Right now, I don't feel like I ever want to send him back again but that's probably not the solution

I think you need to have a meeting with class teacher and senco as soon as possible. I don't think you can assume they have all his paperwork and will be acting accordingly.

How horrible for your son. Agree with vjg13 the first step is to ask for an urgent meeting with the class teacher and SENCO. It is possible that they might not have picked up that he is struggling and will be willing to make more adjustments when they know. Going armed with a list of the areas your son struggles with would be useful and asking for their advice on how to help (whilst ensuring you tell them what you think would work). Much more likely to implement if they think it is their idea!!!

Thanks both. I shall do that. And yes I'd assumed all the notes had gone across (the schools are linked) but possibly not (or if they have, that no one's read them!)

Notes not being read and transition plans being ignored is a massive problem for children with SN's, you would not believe how common your sons story is

I agree with the others go in armed with some info for them, you could start off in a nice way and say "Maybe you havent recieved the info but here it is anyway!!"

That way if nothing changes you have every right to get extremely cross with them.

Good luck

Don't know if you are doing this already but record everything. Conversations, decisions, incidents. Email to create a paper trail and ensure that they understand that reasonable measures should be anticipatory not wait until there is a terrible problem.

It is hard but go in polite, cheerful but remember you are his best and only advocate. I am struggling myself. I think ADHD gets written off and dismissed and people really have no comprehension of the difficulties these kids can have.

Do you get the ADDitude newsletters? They are very good with school stuff even if they are a bit too americanised.

Good luck.

My Fab - no I'm not doing that but that great advice thanks. I was told by his infant school that there would be a transition meeting for parents of kids with SN but that hasn't happened. I asked for a meeting by email and phone and got nowhere.

DS hasn't got ADHD, he has dyspraxia and presents as NT most of the time which I know is always an issue when he goes somewhere new as people don't realise he has additional needs. For example, he went to breakfast club this morning and didn't get breakfast because he didn't ask.

Never assume that information has been shared! It might be that his teacher only received his notes this week or not at all.
Sadly it's best if you make it your responsibility to make sure every new teacher he has is up to speed. That way you at least know they are aware and can make yo aware of how it will be supported.
Speak to the teacher.
Speak to breakfast club as well, breakfast club with no breakfast is crap!

Hi OddFodd

I could almost have written your post word for word.

My DS has High Functioning Autism, but on first meeting him you wouldn't know it.

Started junior school last week, and I don't think anyone has taken any notice at all of the handover information from the linked infant school.

He didn't use the toilet at school for the first three days as he hadn't been shown (not told directions - he needs to be shown). Tears over blasted homework - it HAS to be finished -teacher said so.

I tried to make an appointment with the SENCO, but they haven't got one at the moment. The deputy head is covering inclusion issues,so I've made an appointment with her for Monday.

It's so annoying and upsetting to think of our vulnerable children being confused and bewildered at a place they are supposed to enjoy.

It's awful isn't it noisy? Hidden disability sucks quite a lot of the time because I think it's very easy for the school to forget about them until something goes horribly badly wrong :(

I did write on his breakfast club/after school club forms that he has dyspraxia but I know that most people read that and think 'oh, he won't want to play football then' rather than realising there's a massive processing issue. It's so bloody frustrating.

I've not asked to see his CT but just the senco - his CT is an NQT and I've spoken to her and she said she'd had the recs I'd sent from the ADHD unit and had implemented them but I don't think it's at all joined up. The senco is supposed to be calling me back though so I'll ask if the CT can come to the meeting too. DS can go to afterschool club for a bit - at least they hand out custard creams there and don't rely on children's initiative!

I have a big A4 ring binder with every single report and appointment in it which I'm going to take with me. I shall drown them in sodding paper work :o

Odd - I've been a nervous wreck so far in case he's lashed out at someone because he's been stressed, he was on an intense behavioural sticker chart last term, I don't know if it's been implemented in his new class.

Like you say, I'll be going to Monday's meeting armed with his I E P from last term, and go through all his issues once again.

I always wonder what happens to the children whose parents aren´t articulate, or aren't able (or pushy ) enough to keep making sure that the SENCO s are doing everything they should be.

The SENCO at the infant school is fantastic, it makes such a difference if you feel that someone in the school is genuinely helping your child.

God it's so bloody stressful isn't it? DS doesn't hurt anyone else but headbutts walls instead :(