Getting desperate, need some ideas please

[gracej]

Please. I need help from all you experienced mums. I am getting a bit desperate.

My DS (20 months) sees his occupational therapist three times a week. He has been with her from the last 2 months. She is a very sweet person, and it is obvious that he likes her. But, when actual therapy starts, he refuses to work.

He has serious concentration problems. He will go from his animals to his cars and then to open cupboards in no time, and when he does play it is all very monotonous. For example, his idea of playing with cars is move them back and forth on one spot. That is it.

The other problem we have is that he just puts everything in his mouth. If we give him a toy with play with, he won?t even try, he?ll just put it in his mouth (it drives me nuts sometimes). That makes it difficult from him to explore new toys.

The reason I am asking for help is that I am getting seriously concerned that he is not getting as much therapy as he should, we just spend most of the time trying to get him to sit and play. I think I manage to control his behavior better than his therapist, but that involves me sitting him on my lap.
My first question is: Have any of you had this problem? Can you give me any tips that I can pass on to the OT as to how to deal with it? For example, is it better for me to leave the room? Is it better for her to let him play freely in between games for a few minutes?

My second question is: I think I will have to do more myself. I already play with him, but I feel I need to step it up a bit. Could you please recommend me any books that you have found useful? What I would like are practical games that I could follow to stimulate his brain. I am running out of ideas (not very imaginative, I know).

Third question: any ideas on how to stop his habbit of putting everything in his mouth?

I am sorry it is so long. And I hope I explained the problem properly. It is not so easy to put the full picture into a few words?.

xxx

Hi Bethron. Thanks for replying. We were discussing the mouthing situation with the OT yesterday and we both believe it is not exploring. It just seems to be an automatic impulse to put whatever he has in his hands into his mouth. I give him a massage all other his body, hands, face with an electric massager everyday, I honestly think it is not a sensory issue. I was thinking of giving him a dummy?

DH actually built a little table and chair for him, a special one, that he should find difficult to get out of. But he has managed to slip underneath it, so that didn't work either.

HELP...

hi my ds is 5 goes to a SN school and has ASD, concentration is a big problem for ds so when we do stuff at home like they do in school dont expect to much of him set a limit of say 2-3 mins for an activity may only sound a small amount of time but gradually he will concentrate during that time then you could do 4-5 mins, the games i play with ds are matching games as i will do funny noises for the people or animals and it helps to keep him there a bit longer. i have found a noahs ark game really good two by two game

orchard do a few good toys hope that helps

i love there toys wish ds would understand them but he just doesnt never mind i have fun doing all the animal noises!!

Hi Bethron, no don't mind you asking at all.
Based on his brain scan, it seems that he suffered lack of oxygen at some point, he has a brain attrophy (brain smaller that what it should be). You could say that it is GDD. He doesn't have epilepsy. I have asked DH to add a little stick in the middle of the seat to stop him from getting out.

Redbull, that webpage looks great. Thanks! Will def. get some of those games. Re: 2-3 mins for an activity, I WISH. Sounds like loads of time. I get 30 secs max.

The types of games I play with him are for example: feed the baby doll, find the different animals, push the car down a ramp, bubbles, shape sorters, building towers (I do most of the buildling though!), things like that.

There must be a book out there that can help me get some ideas for games. Maybe something written by an OT?

I really really need some input, anyone else?

Hiya

My DD refused to co-operate with therapists after a while and I think it was down to the hospital setting., She knew when she got there she was going to have to perform and would literally pull this cheeky screwed up pouty lipped face and bring her shoulders up and cross her arms!!!! Anyway I asked the therapists to do all appointments at her nursery instead from then on as the hospital appts just weren't working.

In school, where she was used to having to do what she was told, alongside other children she worked a lot better with them. She still resisted a bit, but that's her stubborn, strong will and cheekiness!

Good luck, I know it's frustrating.

Hi

this book might be useful - I found it has some good suggestions for games etc.

Hmm. Yes, we have this. Don't have any miracle solutions, though.

DD's mouthing compulsion progressed to self-harm so now we have "chews" (actually teething rings) that are clipped onto her clothes with a dummy saver strap thing so that at all times she has an alternative to put in her mouth. I think this is good if there is a sensory component because if they are chewing because it is "calming" then having some non-distracting regular thing to chew might help concentration on what is in front of them. I know a lot of ASD chew toys work on that basis.

One thing we are working on is definitely to encourage other tactile exploration - feeling lots of textures with her hands etc. We do sometimes get progress with that, but she always goes back to chewing.

I do wonder with DD though whether it is an effect not a cause. Ie whether the underlying problem is the lack of functional play & lack of interest in other activities - so she is constantly bored and seeking stimulation in the way most appropriate to her developmental age, ie mouthing. We seem to be stuck in this catch-22 where you can't get her to play with toys because she just chews them, but you can't stop her chewing because she doesn't understand how to play....

Sorry, that's not very helpful. But I think it is in one sense positive that someone else has the same problem - OT have pretty much refused to see her, but if it's common it might be a recognised behaviour with a standard approach.

Hi girls. Monday again...
FioFio, I am not sure what play therapy is, but I am guessing the activities are comparable to those done by the OT. I don't live in the UK anymore, so I never got refered to portrage. Really glad to know that you are happy with it.
Do you mind me asking what exactly is it? What sort of activities did they perform with your DD? I'd be very interested to learn more about that.

Thomcat: My DS is receiving his therapy at home, so the setting is not the problem in our case. It is the actual therapy. I am also in a catch 22! I am reading a really good book by Stanley Greenspan called "The Child with special needs". What he says more or less, is that the child resists an activity because it is too difficult for him/her, but once he learns it he can enjoy it. I think I agree with that. But then the problem is that DS will never learn a skill if he doesn't practice it, but at the same time he has no interest in trying new things out. I think my conclusion from this is that I need to force him a bit, take his hand and physically make him perform the task until he understands it.
I am just concerned that he will revel! And get really fed up.
What do you think? Is it better to make things easier and follow his lead, or should I force him a bit, even if he gets upset?

Sacher: Thanks for the book suggestion. I am going to order it. I really think I will have to work more with him at home,so any new ideas are appreciated.

If anyone else can recommend a book, or a list of games (DS is 20 months) to stimulate his brain, I would be very greatful.

I just really believe that I need to make the most of this time when he is still young and his brain is a little more flexible for learning, I need some ideas as to how to use the time I have with him at home well. I play with him loads, but I am not sure if I am going on the right track. I guess I am just searching for the perfect book.

THanks! xxx