Shoe refusing DD2

[ImaginaryPoster]

DD2 is dyspraxic and is undergoing assessments for Autism.

She has hidden her school shoes and is insisting on wearing her sisters that are 2 sizes too big. This has been going on a week, shes refusing any alternative shoes. The shoes I brought for her are identical to DD1.

I've now found her shoes and have taken them back to the shop and they checked that there isn't any rubbing, correct size and have soften the leather for us. Still she is insisting on barefoot or sisters shoes.

The trouble is she falls often anyway but with her clomping around in these is making her fall even more. I considered buying the next size up but she wouldn't even try these on. She's wanting the huge amount of extra space in them. Her feet are very soft so I wonder if they are extra sensitive.

School are being there usual helpful selves and have noted she slips her shoes off in class and they struggle to make her keep them on and that she has increased falls but have told me if I don't send her to school in appropriate footwear then they will raise an issue because it's a welfare concern.

I don't know what to do, she wouldn't try any other styles on, would thick socks and one size up help? Any recommendations?

I feel like handing the correct pair into reception each morning and letting them see how impossible it is.

What about a slightly bigger shoe with a soft insole?

Would a social story, which told her to wear her shoes outside and at school, work?

I think school are being unfair. My DS(9) has ASD and a statement and was always allowed to take his shoes off. To put it bluntly it worked out well for them because it hurt less when he kicked them.
It's not a welfare concern fgs you have got the shoes but you can't force her to wear them when she is in school and you are at home!

Crocs have got DS2 through a shoe refusing phase without too much drama.

Though when he started walking backwards, we had to put his crocs wellies on him, has he wouldn't wear his crocs mules with the straps at the back, which meant they kept falling off!

DS2 has always done better with DS1's handmedowns, too. I suspect that softness is the issue, there.

wellies worked for ds at points. I always sent his school shoes in his bag. he spent the last bit of reception summer in sandles. he wears shoes now for school. (thankfully) I ws of the view that it was better he turned up at school ready to learn in non regulation footwear than turn up and be stressed all day. sorry to hear that your school are being arses. can you ask for it as a reasonable adjustment under the eqalities whatsit?

In this instance... Faced with such blind ignorance from the school. I would give the correct shoes into the school with an array of thick and thin socks and let them sort it out.
Sometimes it's the only way to make them see that you are doing all you can and that the only sensible way through this is to make allowances.

There is a large number of completly black trainers and pumps around now that many schools will tolerate.

If your Dd would wear them the school could make a reasonable adjustment for her.

They are usually much softer or have padding.

Converse do and all black leather pump the leather ones are really comfy.

Good luck

My DS went through a shoe refusing phase last year - the only shoes he would wear to school were plimsolls or snow boots. Luckily school took the view that they would rather he was in and relatively calm, than not in at all, or in but agitated.

At the moment he seems ok with his school shoes which are basically plain black trainers. Out of school he only wears crocs.

Crocs work for us too

supermarket version of crocs work for my ds. Not sure why but he likes the sainsburys ones and won't wear real crocs.