Am i just a complainer

[suedenley]

Having my hair done the other day DS with me as refusing school that week i got chatting to the hairdresser .She asked why DS not at school and i explained he was AS etc she said my boy is AS to.
i commented that it was hard work she said she found it easier to manage him than her other child and her son wasnt difficult at all .So ive been wondering since if its just me or does anyone else find it hard work draining and demanding 95% of the time .

right first off dd has cp so not quite the same but I am sure that like with cp no 2 people with AS are going to be the same.
Glad that she finds things are ok for her she is lucky.....
You are not a coplainer just obviousy having it harder than her.
Bit mean of her to speak like that

hi suedenley
ds has ASD i also suffer from depression and i find it 100% at all times, no you are not a complainer you just have a demanding child like the most of us!!

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tobysmumkent, I totally agree. DS is very demanding but it also means he interacts, is spontaneous etc. I see so many other children with ASD who are passive/docile. Their parents don't really understand what its like but theirs spend more time ignoring them iyswim!! I think the hairdresser was rather insensitive and you'd think she'd know that there are different "typicals" on the Autistic spectrum (I mean, my DS is just as typical as the others I described). I'd never assume that someone else's child on the spectrum is going to be the same as DS and therefore easier or harder.

My ds1 hasnt been officially diagnosed with autism yet, he has adhd though. I do find him difficult to manage. I continuoslly have to tell him to stay beside me in shops and have to run and catch him when he wanders off. If i were to take him down the shops for a few things i have to continiously watch him and tell him to stay with me. Im sure people standing atround me think im a real moan or a bully whos always on my sons case but if i just let him tear on hed get run over by a car or took away by a stranger and im doing my best to never let that happen. Ive also a younger son who has autism and is nonverbal and when i take them both somewhere on my own im constantly on edge to make sure theyre safe and not at any harm. No wonder i keep finding grey hairs! Im feeling so stressed out at times! I suppose every kids different so its hard to say how other people are coping with their nt or child who has special needs.

I meant to say nt child or child who has special needs!

My asd dd is VERY demanding. We also have another younger dd and dd1 takes up all of my time. Dd1 is in school full time but for how long I don't know (see my thread in special needs) and dd2 is loving having time with me. I agree with suedenly though and I find it very draining from 5:15 up till 7:00 bed and then I have to start housework and cooking dinner for dh. I am exhausted and have had 2 breakdowns in the past 18 months and I think I am about due for another one

2mum, I SO know what you mean. The word "managing" is really the correct one. Although I can take DS to a shop (I couldn't do it with DD too though) it is always an exercise and not for "real" shopping iyswim. And the main thing I have to do is MANAGE him, constant monitoring, telling him which way to go, asking him to wait, racing off leaving stuff at the til to find him and rushing back. I'm sure people think I'm some sort of bully sometimes too.... then they see him bunny hopping across the aisle and hear his familiar "hoot" (I call it his homing signal as it helps me keep tabs on him!). I also use Makaton more when we're out and about to give people the message.
I sound a bit airy-fairy at the moment but I have have to say, I find DS extremely hard work and we have therefore learnt to work around him and always do things taking him into account. Poor DD never comes first in family outings or arrangements as he just has to....

i think ive been under a lot of pressure lately DS1 AS lots of school problems, ds2 needs assessment behaviour problems and dh asd and bi polar and this lady saying oh i just make rules and cos he likes the order and routine he is no trouble and in a weak moment i thought perhaps im doing everything wrong and then i feel guilty cos lots of others out there with much worse things in there lifes but some days i cant help but think this isnt what i signed up for iynwim
sorry feeling miserable probably a low after the high of beating the school on tues