Talking to dr about my child

[Wozald1989]

I have finally decided to make an dr appointment about my little girl.
Just looking for some advice really? What sort of things should you mention/ not mention?
I don't want to be just sent away. If I write a list of concerns on here will some one be able to help me know what to say and what to avoid and how I should say it ect
Btw my little girl is 5 ( 6 in 3 months) and I've had her 2 years now.

Sleeps issues( can take a couple of hours to her to sleep, can wake up to 10 times a night, has night terrors- sees things)
Toilet issurs( will just wet herself if you don't send her to the loo every 2 hours, has to be persuaded to do each poo, watch for poo face, will soil if you don't catch her in time)
Didn't reach any elgs in school (all emerging)
Social issues- doesn't know boundaries- would go off with strangers, she hugs strangers, will hit herself in the face if feeling awkward or hit them.
Tantrums over small things- her milky bar broke the other day and she started kicking a woman that was sat near her
No impulse control- will steal, she took a dog that was tied up the other day, can't leave her in the room with anything hot as she will touch it. If you told her not to touch something, as soon as you leave the room she would do it
Seems to lack general understanding
Behind with speech- uses wrong tenses, can't say some words, says words wrong(flood-blood)(year-ear)
Think that's it for now

Oh forgot
Struggles to concentrate which is a problem at school
Zones out
Doesn't seem to be able to understand how to be quiet
Can not listen to the most simple of intructiona

Can I take it from you post that you adopted your dd?
She sounds very very similar to my dd3 who has a diagnosis of FASD.
Sorry if I have misunderstood.

I'm fostering her , she is a family member and witnessed dv and was neglected physical and emotionally

What is FASD

Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.
If you are her foster carer it is worth asking advice from your social worker.
The fostering board will have good advice too.

If she is a Looked After Child then there may be a Looked After Children's nursing team who could advise and fast track some referrals? Check your paperwork for their details; someone from there probably carried out a medical on her around the time she was placed with you?

Her social worker is useless, am meant to be doing a foster assessment after they refused to do one 18 months ago, have had 4 appointments where the sw hasn't turned up and haven't heard from them since.
Defiantly not FASD tho as her mum is not a big drinker

She was given voluntarily and doesn't count as a looked after child.

Was gonna talk to the sw when she finally turns up to do the foster assessment but she is now on leave apparently so thought I would just go to docs and see ?

Shame about the SW.

Write down bullet points of a timeline of events for your child. Add in the points you mentioned in your original post. It makes it easier for the GP to read if is printed, give a copy to the GP for the child's files.

Ok thank you, and what can the gp actually do?

There is not much the GP can do apart from refer you to a community/ developmental paed.
I wouldn't plan to say too much to the GP, you will only have to repeat yourself, just ask for a referral.
Good luck and don't take no as an answer.

Have the school referred her to anyone? Speech therapy for instance?
Sounds like you have a clear case for a referral and as Moomoomie said don't leave without one.

School have said she's not bd enough for speech therapy, she has in a group of 3 children that go off 2 times a week for help with speech/social with a sen ta.
School have also sai d to think about taking her to the dr but that it would be quicker If I took her than if the school reffered

Should I take her with me

I suggest you also post on the adoption board as some of the issues are very similar to what adopted children experience and may among other things be related to attachment problems.

Hi Wozald1989
I'm the poster Polter was talking about, Having a rubbish social worker is going to make thigns harder for you, as well as it being the school holidays, if it was term time i would have suggested you ask her teacher to writer to your doctor confirming her odd behaviour and lack of social skills.

Be very assertive, GP's seem to be paid to dismiss their patients problems rather than do anything useful, you want a referral. When they refuse, or are about to refuse ask if it's money or funding related, i find it gives them a kick and they seem to want to prove you wrong.

First, Video her when she is displaying the strange behaviour, especially self harming (hitting herself / banging her head against things) this is how i finally convinced my doctor to give My nephew cognitive behaviour therapy. This will give you something to "show" it's not a normal tantrum.

The sleep issues and the Tantrums are the two things a doctor will take notice of, so these are the things which should be emphasised in order to get the ball rolling (for some reason doctors don't seem to care about toileting issues at all, Don't be suprised if the advice for this is to use pullups)

Take her with you when you go, as the speech problem will be more evident if she is there.

Is the doctor likely to have a record of her history, if not you should sit down before hand and make a summery and what you know she has experienced.

Secondly at some point in the future i'd find out about getting another social worker and making a complaint. Don't make it personal, just write to the social worker’s manager and explain how you feel the care of duty has been terrible.

I hope that helps a bit, or at least is useful in some way.

Thanks for all the advice, I just have to psych myself up to make an appointment now, I always put it off and start convincing myself all is fine, it's only when I read the list I realise she needs some help

I always put it off and start convincing myself all is fine, it's only when I read the list I realise she needs some help

I don't think there is a single one of us here who doesn't know how you feel .