My poor DS and ASD

[Peppapigisnotmyname]

Hi everyone, i feel like I'm going mad! Is it me??

My DS is nine, he's high functioning ASD in mainstream school. He's statemented with 20 hrs 1:1 support a week. He attends a very high achieving school, currently in the end of year 4.

He's a very gentle, shy boy and is incredibly anxious. The school exceptionally high standards are serving only to make his anxieties worse. The school simply don't listen, won't bend, 'we are right' they just tolerate him, they don't really want him, they are inclusive because it's PC to be so.

This year has been dreadful. Whilst his TA is great, his teacher has been crap. He has literally been rolling around on the floor at home in anxiety because of school issues. I've even videoed these episodes. When I've reported it to school they just say 'we won't treat him differently' - but he bloody well is!! FFS! They've been telling me he's different for years! He can't win.

The classes change every year, he's been split from the few friends he has. He says - I don't think anyone would notice if I wasn't there! Of course I disagreed with him but privately, I agree with him. He never gets any praise, his confidence is at an all time low :(

Today was the final straw - awards assembly. I didn't even go as I knew he would get nothing. Of course, I was right. My dear DS came out of school utterly broken, again. I ve just reached the end of my tether. Of course, I've been to school to say how unhappy DS is but it makes no difference.

I've also got a dd aged 5 , nt. She was started reception last year. Very confident kind girl. She hated the school, long story but she completely retreated into her shell. I moved her to another school in May, she's not looked back, loves it, really happy, back to her old self :) but there is not room for DS and he's terrified of leaving his current school anyway.

What am I going to do? I just want him to be treated fairly, credit where credit is due etc. by the way, he does extra activities - karate - he's a brown belt, athletics, swimming etc so he is able :) just so sick of fighting :)

I often want to say this on threads too. We moved ds1 when he was five and it was the best thing he could have done. There are flexible schools out there

Another vote for moving him here, it is fear of the unknown that makes him not want to move.

His school will never change and you will send yourself loopy trying to make them.

We moved Dd3 in yr 3, best thing we could have done. It hasnt been perfect and this yr has been hard but that would have been the same where ever she had been.

Inclusion can work, in the right place.

Good luck

If he has a statement then how can the other school say no room for him? If he has 20 hours a week then unless the other school has tiny classrooms which he and his TA could not physically fit into then the other school (assuming it's LA school) must take him. He doesn't go through usual admissions you just make a formal request to sen officer to change the school named in part 4 (look at IPSEA).
I moved DS this year from a similar school (age 7, half way through year 2) and it's been positive. My only regret is not doing it sooner. You can't change these kind of attitudes we found the same with 4 teachers and it's clearly embedded in the attitude of the school and comes from the top.
I felt like I should be able to change it, but truth is DS couldn't afford to lose any more time while I tried.

Thanks for your views everyone.

You've helped me make my mind up. Will start things moving tomorrow, hope I can change it for him xx

Good luck
We had to change schools and it has worked out for the best
Found by word of mouth and then meeting the Senco clinched it for us