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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

it's not a shame

13 replies

mrs2shoes · 10/09/2006 23:08

I had a neighbour comment about what a "shame" it was that dd has cp
Now of course I would prefer her to be nt but and big BUT then she wouldn't be her.
I often think that if she didn't have cp I wouldn't have known her (hope that makes sense)
She brings so much sunshine into our lives

OP posts:

Twiglett · 10/09/2006 23:18

yes it makes sense ... we are the people we are because of nature and nuture

I think your neighbour was being clumsy but probably not deliberately trying to be offensive

bringing sunshine into our lives is a lovely lovely phrase which I am going to steal (if you dont mind)

Original poster

mrs2shoes · 10/09/2006 23:21

oh she wasn't being mean I think it is a case of not knowing what to say. it is just a shame () people use that expression

OP posts:

redbull · 11/09/2006 07:23

know just what you mean 2shoes when we had a thunder storm the other week ds was wowed by it was telling a neighbour and all they kept on saying was "ahh bless him its such a shame" i was like hello he wasnt upset by it WTF whys it a shame??? We dont want your bloody symphaeny!!

aaronsmummy · 11/09/2006 07:45

I wouldn;t have ds2 any other way. It's hard to cope with 2 other children as well but on the good days he is such a joy. If he didn;t have asd he would be a different person and I would have missed all the wonderful things about him. To me he is just him - no sn just a more challenging way of dealing with him. They are all different after all anyway aren't they.

MrsFio · 11/09/2006 08:44

My friend is rather gobby when people say this to her she replies that why is it a shame that her daughter has a good quality of life and is happy and healthy?

one of sleepyjess's neighbours asked her when she was going to send her ds away!!! she wasnt being nasty either

coppertop · 11/09/2006 10:06

at SJ's neighbour.

It's hard to imagine either of my two boys without ASD, although obviously I wish people would be a little more understanding of their SN. It's not the SN that I would want to change. It's other people's attitudes.

Thomcat · 11/09/2006 10:11

Makes perfect sense to me mrs2shoes.
I have always said I wouldn't want to change a thing about Lottie. If she didn't have Down's syndrome, she wouldn't be Lottie. She'd be someone else and I don't want anyone else I want her. So while I'd prefer it for her if she didn't have special needs I wouldn't actually want her to be any different either. Hard to make that make sense in words, but I know exactly what you mean

anniebear · 11/09/2006 10:49

a friend of mine asked a while ago if I would put Ellie in a home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then again, after the weekend we have just had, If she asked me today I might say yes lol lol

dizzy34 · 11/09/2006 20:47

Hiya, sorry for butting in, i dont get chance to post much but i do lurk and read.

I love my ds to bits and he has changed us all for the better, we have all learnt from him and he has touched so many peoples lives....But i totally think that it is a shame for him. I know this is a personal thing and i can understand where you are coming from in that your childs dissability defines who they are but..I would love him to run around and even fall over; i would love to see him with ice cream round his face; i would love to hear him say mummy or for him to see who his parents and siblings are; I would love to be able to buy him toys and see him pick one up or even just move his hand;I would give anyting for him to hold my hand or kiss my cheek.
I dont think its disloyal to his personality or the person who he is to say that i wish to god he didnt have dissabilities, and i would give my own life for someone to take his problems away and let him live his life to the full.

I am sorry if this sounds like a rant but we have had very bad few weeks and i feel so sorry for my gorgous little boy

MrsFio · 11/09/2006 20:54

I think we can all relate to that dizzy

2mum · 11/09/2006 21:01

Its hard not to get annoyed at what other people say. Im trying not to dwell on things like that. As long as our kids are happy to hell with what neighbours or whoever think. i dont mean to sound harsh im just feeling a bit crappy at the minute.

Original poster

mrs2shoes · 11/09/2006 21:22

i know what you mean dizzy and feel for you if you are going through a crap time

OP posts:

Jimjams2 · 11/09/2006 21:32

Yes I do know what you mean dizzy. I've learned a lot from ds1- but the price was too high. My most recent experience of this "such a shame" thing was someone saying "oh it;s such a shame he has such a pretty face, such a shame, he;s so handsome" (as if it would be OK if he was ugly!)

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