School trip

[Borka]

DS is 5 & has ASD, he's in mainstream reception on SA+ and gets very little support at school. After 2 really bad terms he's been relatively happy this term.

The class trip in a couple of weeks is to London Zoo. I've offered to go along to help, and said to DS's class teacher that I think DS will need 1 to 1 for a trip like this. She said that they couldn't guarantee that I would be able to go 'as it's not fair on other parents who want to go' and that there would be groups of 3 children per adult.

I feel that she's not taken DS's ASD into account at all. He's generally very compliant at school and not disruptive, but she has no experience of him in a crowded, unfamiliar place. Even if I do get picked as one of the parent helpers, the idea of trying to keep DS calm while also watching 2 other children seems daunting, let alone the idea of me not being there and a different parent who doesn't really know him trying to cope with him having a meltdown. He burst into tears just hearing me talking to the teacher about the trip.

Can the school just treat him like all the other children for this, and assume that because he doesn't need 1 to 1 at school he won't need it for the trip, or should they be making more adjustments? How should a trip like this be risk-assessed for pupils with ASD?

I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along with advice re the school but if push comes to shove could you join the trip under your own steam?

If he is on SA+ then they should be doing a specific risk assessment for your DS. Zoos are amazing at that age and I expect DS is very excited/nervous and it is very likely something will cause him to kick off on the day. I would ask to see the Head and class teacher and ask for a step by step plan of how the day is going to go and what their strategies would be for coping with a situation such as if DS doesn't want to leave the lions and go and see something else.

This will probably give them cause to think about the logistics and they are far more likely to invite you to go. If not then they will be more clued up about what is likely to happen. It will then be your decision as to whether you send him or not. When DS was that age, we used to try and take DS. to the place they were going to visit before the class trip so that he understood more on the day. I totally understand that this might not be practical though.

Also, meant to say that after two and a half terms, the other parents in the class will be aware of the children who need extra support. They will understand why you are on the trip. Teachers often say things like this just to try and manipulate you.

Thanks Sunnymeg, that's really useful to know about the risk assessment - I'm sure they haven't done one. I'm going to do exactly what you've suggested, I think you're right that it will prompt them into thinking it through more thoroughly.

Yes re. the other parents, I think they've all noticed that DS needs extra help & seem generally much more understanding than the school.

I had the opposite. The school wanted us to go but we work and thought they could cope as he one to one and is generally really good on days out. They do a full risk assessment, a lot of it is pretty unlikely to happen but at least they have thought about it. In the end he had a lovely trip. Hope you work it out.

Trust your instincts, if you think its going to be a problem then be pushy. If they won't take you then insist on 1:1 and put it in writing to the Head that 1:1 will need to be put in place for the trip. Ask to see a copy of the risk assessment (any parent can ask to see this). we had a similar issue re a school play where our views were ignored - lets just say that if anyone purchased the video of the school play all they will have seen is DS wandering around, lifting up the back cloth, sliding on and off the front bench laughing his head off and eventually having to be physically carried off in the middle by DH.

Well, it looks as though I am going to have to get pushy. I had a really unsatisfactory conversation with his class teacher where she ignored what I was saying and insisted that she 'understands his needs'. That doesn't reassure me at all, given that DS came home after PE with his plimsolls on the wrong feet, having done a whole session of PE like that & nobody noticed.

The school play story made me laugh, sorry Agnes!

Write in to HT and ask for a copy of the risk assessment. Yes they should be making adjustments. It's plain daft to say that it's not fair on the other parents if you go. That's a reasonable adjustment right there.

There was a boy with severe autism (but high functioning) in ds class - his father went on the Y6 residential trip with him. None of the parents minded, as we could all imagine the problems for him, away from home for a week in a strange place.

I think the school are over-thinking this!

Polter, I have absolutely no faith in the teacher! Her knee-jerk reaction to every tiny bit of support I ask for for DS is to say no without even considering it. I'm just counting the days until he finishes in her class.

Grrr yes that's what happened to us, CT convinced she knew best, she didn't. It's so annoying. I took DS to the zoo at 5 and he cried the whole way round and had zero interest in any of it. Thankfully it was just me and him or his brothers would have been kicking off. Go see the SENCO now if CT not listening, sadly for us the not listening extended to the whole school. Some schools see it as you challenging their expertise when really it's them challenging your expertise in your child. Do you have a buggy? Maybe offer to lend them that and maybe they will get the idea. I wish I had been more forceful and made them listen to me. DS refused point blank to go in any of the nocturnal houses at zoo eg bats and also the snakes (also dark). We had Tour de France here at weekend and town was really busy and DS was able for the first time to tell us he was scared by the crowds. He freaks out when things are new / different / busy. If need be tell them it will spoil it for the other kids who will have to sit and wait out his meltdowns if there is only one adult for every 3 kids. DS would throw himself on the ground at that age or try and run off. They can't possibly know what your DS is like out of school.

I second Polter re putting everything in writing, so there is a paper trail if you need to go back to it. I was unhappy with the provision for DS Y6 residential trip and fired off a series of emails about it. I was still unhappy after the schools response and didn't let him go. I still sent him to school though and they had to provide for him. They loved me, but I was sure they hadn't thought through what his needs would be.
The trip ended up being a bit of a disaster and I was so glad that DS wasn't caught up in it all!

I suspect school are seeing you as an over cautious precious mother, you need to stand your ground. Good Luck

Thanks everyone for your advice.

I've emailed the Senco (not the HT, as he's previously called me an over-anxious mother to my face) so hopefully my mention of DS running away, not knowing what to do if he gets lost etc will make her think a bit.

Agnes, did you end up changing schools or did you somehow manage to make things work with the non-listening school?