It's time to accept it.

[colditz]

My son has speech difficulties that are above and beond what is 'normal delay'

The SENCO at ds1s playschool took me into the office today, and said they feel that he can't cope with the noise in the playschool, because his speech isn't clear enough for the other children to understand him in such a noisy environment, he gets frustrated and hits, thyen nobody wants to play with him. God, it's heartbreaking.

his keyworker is trying to get him to share things by asking for them rather than snatching - but nobody understands him when he asks! The games and things the speech therapist has given me to do with him AREN@T BLOODY WORKING, sometimes, if he is tired or excited I only understand 1 word in 10, he is 3.5, and I am so frustrated I could cry.

I feel that he has very little ability to concentrate on what people are saying, therefore isn't learning how to say the words. His hearing is fine, we had it checked a few weeks ago.

I hate to see him so unhappy, it's heartbreaking.

There is nothing you can all do, but just needed to vent, and to admit that the place to vent is now here

Sorry.

Oh Colditz, I had no idea. it sounds extremely distresssing for the poor little mite.
Is any more help on the cards?

sorry to hear things are so hard I know where you are comming from as dd tries so hard to talk but so much is unclear no advice just hugs

Don't be sorry, I remember how my mum felt when she was going through this with my little brother. He became very frustrated and she had to move him from one play group to another. I remember how heartbroken she was when he couldn't tell nursery that he didnt like tuna sandwiches. The doctors, speech therapists never really found out why he had delays, except for the fact that he had a lot of ear infectionswhen he was small, but there was nothing wrong with his hearing. Anyway by the time he went to primary school, he was fine and noone could have guessed that he had such problems.

Just wanted to give you a positive story.

Ahhhh mate, so sorry

Are you / the school signing with him at all? If so does it help?

Colditz it is difficult, I know that. My DS had terribly severe speech difficulties and his first SALT doubted whether he would ever be educated in mainstream schooling. But he is and his speech whilst still a little lispy is 'normal'!

You must try and do all that you can to get him SALT as often as you can. It is so hard on the NHS to get anything substantive - we had to go privately. However perhaps your LEA would intervene to get him more provision?

If not let me know- I would be more than happy to sub him for a couple of lessons a month It made such a difference to DS and I couldn't bear it for a child to suffer for the want of a few SALT sessions

That's a lovely and very constructive offer, Soapbox, and I could see why you wuld want to make it, if there is a chance that time with a good SALT could make the fantastic difference it has to your ds.
Colditz, I really feel for any child who has any difficulties that affect their communication, it's the cornerstone of so much, isn't it? Very painful for you to watch.

colditz, is your ds already having regular SALT? dd2 has been waiting for over 6months, and should start her sessions next month (she has had 3 assessments). dd2 doesnt cope in social situations as she can get herself understood, then lashes out. sometimes i sit there trying to decipher what she says. its frustarting. you are not alone on here. dd2 has just turned 4, so similar age to your ds as well.

i seem to spend large amounts of the days going sssssssssss at dd2 as thats the sound they want to work on now. she doesnt find the games that much fun either. and i havent seen much improvment.

dont be sorry for venturing into this place to vent. does ds have any other issues? i think a large % of dd2 differeculties are down to her poor speech and not being understood by others. I am hoping that once she gets the hang of t, then other areas will start to improve.

Thankyou all for your support. He has major difficulty maintaining eye contact when someone is trying to talk to him - but it's not that he hates eye contact, just that there are far more interesting things to look at than me.

He is on the move almost constantly and climbs like a chimp - this morning he got up, climbed up onto the computer chair and slid the bolt on the kitchen door - I was still upstrair feeding his brother and didn';t realise he could slide that bolt.

he is dextrous with his hands, can undo knots and the stairgate no problem.

But he cannot sit still and eat his dinner, or take any interest in his speech therapy exercises, or walk down the road without being attached to reins (he runs off, spins round in circles and scares me near the road), and I get so frustrated when he won't or can't listen. I have to say his name several times, move his face to look at me, reiterate that he has to look at me and listen to my words, say it, then ask him to repeat back to me what I just said - more often than not he says 'don't know'

The speech therapist told me that until his concentration improves there is not a lot that can be done with him - but I feel that his concentration won't improve until he is able to engage people in clear conversation - which he often tries to do but they don't understand and he gets up[set.

The Senco at the playschool says that she isn't really interested in what the speech therapist says about ds1's concentration ability because that is all part of her job - the senco wants to come with me when I next go to the speech therapist. His key worker says he has a problem with being still, but if you engage his interest he is ok for a while, but it has to be sometyhing fast paced of he wanders off. He has no shyness at all and will approach anyone to sit on their knee.

I don't know how much of his behavior is normal for a 3.5 year old boy, he is my first child, but all the other boys at playschool seem a lot more verbal and a lot more managable (not as beautiful or charming though)It's as if ds1s speech and behavior got stuck at 2.3 years old, IYSWIM.

Speech therapist last saw him in June - says she will send appt for September but we haven't had one tthrough yet.

Thank you too to soapbox, that is so kind of you to offer. I know where the speech therapist's office is though, and I am not above continuously turning up there until I get him seen properly and regularly.

Colditz ~ sorry to hear about this

Do you think your ds may have some kind of attention difficulty that may be causing this?

he sounds very much like dd2. its exhausting a lot of the time, as you constantly have one eye on them. dd2 is rarely still. MIL has taken her out today, I am expecting them back with MIL looking frazzled.

would you consider trying makaton with him?

it's quite easy to leanr once you get started and it would make it easier for you and school to understand what it is he wants....and hopefull mean less outbursts.

Has your son seen fully assessed by the community paediatrician to check where his areas of delay are? then you could be into a whole range of help that will support him in his development.Your message struck a cord with me and reminded me of my son. We thought he just had delayed speech and talked to the health visitor about it, she referred him to the pead who assessed his development. her results were like a bomb going off in our lives but one year on he has had good input form an area SENCO who visited us at home and pre-school. Am afraid to say the SALT was very negative and not prepared to work with him as she said he was at a 'pre language' stage so not prepared to offer much help apart from a load of suggestions about good communication which we were already doing, however she did pick up his problems with attention. We worked on improving his attention and making sure we have his attention before asking him to do anything, praising him when he listens. We have used Makaton around the house and I really think it has helped his understanding although he doesn't sign much. He is also mad about pictures so we have used laminated pictures on the fridge for asking for food. One year on everyone seems less frustrated.
Getting a fair diagnosis although very painful at the time has helped us access professionals and money (he's entitled to disability living allowance) which have really helped and he is generally a happy boy these days.

good luck, hope you see your happy boy back soon.

Thanks all. I never tried makaton with him because tbh I never realised how much other people were struggling to understand him.

I struggle to describe it.

He can say "Please can I have the bike, please mummy"

It comes out as "teas gan I as a bike, teas mummy"

He knows which words to use, but even if I get him to slow down, he can't say them. He speaks at the same speed as an adult, I have noticed some 3 year olds will slow down if they are strugglintg, but he doesn't.

I am sorry I am harping on about this. He starts school in exactly 1 year, and it is playing on my mind a bit.

Joggeroo, the playschool senco wants to get the local area senco to give him a "very quick and relaxed look over - he won't even know she is there" Tbh I welcomed it with open arms. If nothing is found to be unusual at all, I will have to resign myself to have done something wrong. I was very depressed until he was 1, maybe I didn't talk to him enough? He never babbled at all, he was too busy rolling about.

They are good at the playschool, the have a little girl with autism there and she always has a staff member with her. They are really positive about it, and she is included as much as she can stand to be. I am so glad I decided to send him there,.

lease i ant a gotty kirk.

can you understand that? i can, but no one else did lol.

colditz, seriously, you can CAT me about this, as he sounds so much like dd2.

is his language use ok? dd2 understands perfectly, but just cant speak properly.

please I want a something!

His languge use is maybe a little behind, but he wasn't really talking qat all until Christmas. It isn't very behind, IMO, but I'm not all that sure what is normal.

He can explain to me that "this set of lego wheels not work on the floor, because no tyres. This one do, it has tyres. Other one works on the sofa."

although it doesn't sound like that when he says it, I know that is what he say, IYSWIM!

I can't cat I'm afraid though, but e mail is colditzmum at yahoo dot co dot uk

There are broadly two possible causes of speech issues - delayed speech and disordered speech.

Delayed speech is where they are behind in developing speech but that it follows the normal method of development - ie certain sounds in a more or less normal pattern of development.

Disordered speech is where the development is not consistent, some sounds are present but others are not. There are many many reasons for this. If understanding is good then I believe that the prognisis tends to be better though.

The SALT I used was fab at getting DS's attention -he started at 2.5yo and it was quite formal - across a table. However, the main focus was playing lots and lots of games - nothing lasting more that a few minutes. However, she did say that at a young age co-operation is everything - if a child can't sit still for 10mins or so, then it is very difficult. A lot of the observations are around spotting the way the mouth is moving to articulate the sound and she said that is hard if you're crawling on the floor trying to capture a potential escapee

please i want a spotty skirt. my email [email protected] if you want to rant offline.

Colditz, glad the SENCO at pre school is helpful.
You could try the cbeebies website for Makaton signs/printouts, it's a good place to get started.
Re Attention, if you think this could be a problem, have you thought about fish oil supplements, lots of people think they help.
I don't think it is something you did or didn't do that is responsible, so don't blame yourself for his current frustrations. You are doing exactly the right thing now trying to get him some support and although it feels as though school time will soon come round, he may change a lot in a year....think how far he has come since Christmas.

colditz. i'm so sorry, so sorry that you and ds are going through this. you're pain on his behalf comes through so clearly in your posts. i really hope that you get all the help and support that you both deserve.

x