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ds fist day back at school i can feel a fight coming on allready with his new teacher!!

17 replies

redbull · 07/09/2006 21:43

this morning ds was not happy nor sad very difficult he was to judge how he was going to take it.

came home at 4 got him off the bus still the same he was, when i asked him if he liked his new teacher he wouldnt answer me so i got his book out about his new class and showed him the picture of his new teacher and the 2 assistants,

as soon as ds seen his teachers picture he started shouting "nasty girl,naughty girl she shouted at" he then said the other 2 assistamts are happy, when i asked him why she was naughty he said " cry for mommy,* want mommy help" god i felt like shit when he told me i phoned my friend whos little boy is in ds class and she said he hadnt mentioned anything to her, so what im asking is what do i do?? ds has been so clingy tonightdo i phone in the morning or write something in the diary, shit i hate this feel so anxious, sorry for the rant!!

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redbull · 07/09/2006 21:50


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coppertop · 07/09/2006 21:57

redbull. Could it be the whole transition of moving to a new class etc that's upsetting him? My ds1 (6yrs) usually likes school but has found the first few days in his new class hard. I felt awful sending him in on the 2nd day.

I would write in the diary that ds was upset about school and maybe ask them to keep a close eye on him. Poor little mite.

redbull · 07/09/2006 22:05

thanks coppertop, im just feeling so anxious i suffer from depression and panic attacks anyway but this is just making me feel worse, i did think the same as its the transistion for him but i cant help thinking if it is that then why didnt he say the 2 assistants are nasty aswell??

i was really looking forward to reading his diary when he got home all that was written was ds enjoyed PE, i think its also to do with since ds broke his leg at school in jan ive lost a lot of confidence in them and i convince my self they arent watching him properly

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coppertop · 08/09/2006 04:14

I don't blame you for feeling worried. You (and ds) have been let down badly before.

It might be worth speaking to the teacher about what level of detail or info you would like to see in his diary. It's good to know that he enjoyed PE but I can imagine how frustrating it is to see nothing else about his day in there. It makes it seem as though no-one bothered to keep an eye on him for the rest of the day when the reality is probably that the teacher didn't know what else to write.

I hope today is a much better day for you both. xxx

redbull · 08/09/2006 06:51

thanks coppertop

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redbull · 08/09/2006 08:47

up date arghhhhhhhhhhhh

ds had a MAJOR MELTDOWN at about 7;15 that lasted till 8;10, he said he didnt want to go to bad school, he doesnt love mommy, he doesnt love home he kicked me in my mouth as he was lashing out at air!!, then when the bus arrived i had to drag him out the house restrain himin his seat so the guide could put his belt on him, shit he really screamed and cried, ive had a good cry now to

just phoned his teacher and she said yesterday he had a really good day got a bit up set as he didnt want to do his matching work so she has allready taken it out of his tray, she said she will phone later to let me know how he is

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coppertop · 08/09/2006 10:45

Poor you.

Why on earth didn't the teacher write in the diary that ds was upset??? I wonder if she realises that you're not after a positive spin on the day and that you need to know about problems too.

Fingers crossed that the phone call brings happier news. xx

tiptoes · 08/09/2006 11:28

redbull-really sympathise with your situation.

My ds is 5 and and has selective mutism and has been really upset and anxious since starting back at school.(started a thread the other day)

I too have suffered from depression and still suffer panic attacks and have come a long way in dealing with this.But the head this morning made me feel my ds's problems with going back to school is my fault and something I am doing at home.When I know it's the fact he does'nt know anyone in this class and has a new teacher and new teaching assistants.

I had the same problem yesterday with ds not wanting to go to school,he would'nt get his uniform on and then his sister started playing up and in the end I did'nt take him.I was in such a state and had a good cry in the bathroom.
He went today but was in tears when I left.
I know it makes you feel like such a crap mother and in my experience the school have done nothing to make me thing any different.

On my other thread someone gave me some good advice which was basically don't just think what can you do to make things easier for your ds but also what the school can do to help your ds.
Something I had'nt really concentrated on I was just blaming myself when the school should be talking to me to make things easier for ds.

It is really difficult when you fel you are not being heard and supported.Hope your ds has a better day today.

redbull · 08/09/2006 11:32

thanks coppertop and tiptoes,

the bad thing is though tiptoes ds is at a special school that only take on children with ASD so hte teachers are well qualified in the area but they seem to put alot in to the children and think us parents are ok when we need reasurance aswell!!!

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tiptoes · 08/09/2006 11:50

redbull-my ds is in mainstream but the SALT did at one point recommened he go to a special school but they keep changing their minds on this.
DH feels maybe a special school would be better for ds as at least the teachers would be trained in SM.

I know exactly what you mean,communication this past year has been terrible,if it was'nt for me taking the teacher to one side and updating her on ds's progress they would'nt know a thing.
The head said to me just this morning that they obviously see a different little boy at school to what we see at home and he seems fine at school.Ermm he does'nt talk in school but talks in other situations outside the school.How is that fine

Like you say we need to be updated on their progress and our minds put at rest that while they are at school they are being cared for in the correct way.I feel the school should talk to the parents more,after all it's the parents that know their children the best and maybe they could learn something from us!!

redbull · 08/09/2006 12:07

completely agree tiptoes i dont know how long you have been on mumsnet but do you know what happened to my ds in jan??

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tiptoes · 08/09/2006 18:10

redbull-I have been on mumsnet more as a lurker for a while and only just started posting on the SN threads.Have found it really supportive.

No I am not aware of what happened to your ds in Jan,am getting familiar with some mumsnetters background but not all.

redbull · 08/09/2006 19:09

well even though ds is at SN school in january in the playground ds got his leg broke it was the schools fault the teacher left the playground early and the proper staff ratio was way out, he was in total 16 weeks of school, and the whole time the school was not very supportive at all, and after all that they held their hands up to it they still cant reasure me that ds is ok,

have you got a statement in place at all??

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tiptoes · 08/09/2006 19:22

Redbull--That is terrible.
How did you fianally get the truth from them?
I see why you are concerned as you think your children are in safe hands when you leave them at school.Did they try to cover up the fact that the teacher was to blame?
16 weeks is a long time ,where they concerned about any work he would have missed?

My ds does not have a statement as the SALT seems to think it may not be appropriate for a child with SM .Although have had a conflicting view from the LEA.
I am not that up on statementing so I need to look into it further.I know from someone else I spoke to that the school may take me more seriously if DS had a statement.

TitianRed · 08/09/2006 19:22

Redbull - as a teacher, I would say please come in and speak to us as often as you want. Teachers and parents are batting for the same side, so, if you have something on your mind, tell them. I'm sorry your child has found the start of the new year difficult and hope that things get better very soon.

redbull · 08/09/2006 19:49

thanks titianred

tiptoes are you on the yahoo for SN kids on mumsnet?? if you are my name on their is redbullmumsnet it should have my email address on their if you ever want to get in touch i have a had a bit of experiance at ds in a mainstream nurseryschool and what i did to get him a place at a SN school should say my ds is 5 as well

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tiptoes · 08/09/2006 20:13

Yes I am redbull ,will look out for you

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