am I alone in finding eastenders hard to watch

[mrs2shoes]

Just brings it back, so far seems to be well done. but only time will tell.

fuzzywuzzy-really hope your right
I dont have a child with down syndrome but i when im at work i support adults with down syndrome and special needs and i just feel that some positive associations are needed in society to inform the ignorant.

err, thought you weren't up for corrections TC?! thanks anyway

I'm not

You know me, just politely bringing it up as you said 'don't know if I worded that correctly'.

ahh, I see

Evening . Don't normally post here, but have heard from a friend whom works in the business that the story writers are writing 'Janet' in as a proper long-term character, and have plans to employ an actress with Down's syndrome to play the part as she grows up

please she isnt called janet

Yes Cod she is, after Honey's mother..... what's wrong with Janet then???

why not codddy? what's wrong with janet?

Managed to watch this later on and I shed quite a few tears. It really took me back to those first few days when Amelia was born. I can rememeber the constant encouragement we gave to try to get her to feed- just so I could get out of hospital.

It also made me think about what it had been like for DH, he did most of the phoning around and telling everyone while I was still in hospital..OMG so many memories...and after such a crap day too!!!

TC, was thinking of you and Lottie as I watched EE this evening - and the other MNers with children who have DS - but esp you, because I know you and Lottie.

I can't imagine how difficult it is to watch for you - I'm sure the next few weeks will explore all sorts of reactions and I hope it's not too hard for you to see.

Arrr there with you Dingle babes.

Diege - that's really nice to know.

Hunks - thanks mate. Sure it'll be difficult but, sort of theraputic as well. It'll bring back a few painful upsetting moments and I / we're bound to feel a great deal of comapassion for Honey, even though she's only acting, we'll be feeling it and crying for for ourselves and those we know have been through the same.

But we'll all come away and smile as all of us are happy mums who love our kids. We're tired mums, mums who are still fighting, who find some days really, really hard, who cry about it now and then, ut we're mums who are proud of our kids and happy with who they are and wouldn't change them.

thomcat-can i ask you a question? feel free to ignore me.
did you know that lottie had ds before she was born, or was it a total shock?
obviously i have no experience of this but watching honey's reaction, i didn't know how true it was-the not loving her bit.because i can't imagine that at all.

No I didn't know, was a massive shock.
And Honeys reaction is actually very very common.
It took me a day to let myself feel anything and then I was totally cool. I know others who really struggled and rejected their Ds or DD.
But I think nearly everyone, when they first find out, before or after birth, grieves for the child they thought they were having.

Ever seen the Holland poem thing? It explains it perfectly.

This is a post I have just written on another forum!!

"Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 11:16 pm Post subject:

----------------

Been a day of very mixed emotions.
Starting so full of frustration and anger it has ended quite relaxed and chilled. Despite Amelia having a bit of a funny tummy last night and this morning, she has been a sheer pleasure to be with this afternoon. My neighbour popped around and Amelia demonstrated her dance routines to one of her favourite DVDs...she is so enchanting...when she want to be.

DS has settled in well to Juniors, likes his new teacher and was proudly wearing a bage and showing everyone his certificate for his holiday reading, and telling everyone about the house points he has earnt!
His evening finished with reports from his Sensi who seems very pleased with his attitude and progress in Karate.

Just finished watching the late showing of Eastenders, where I watched and cried and remembered all the emotions when Amelia was born.
The issues I had then seem so irrelevant now, but one thing I can say is that I never doubted the love I had for her, but I just didn't know what to expect of a daughter with DS! LOL!! I still don't she will always keep me on my toes.

Off to the land of nod now but before I go, I really need to thank you all again for listening to my waffle and showing me kindness and strength. "

i so agree with the grief part tomcat (dd has cp) I can remember going through it

THIS IS HOW IT FEELS:

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

yes i know the holland poem-our ante-natal teacher gave it out to us. I refused all tests when preg apart from scans, on the basis that my baby was my baby.watching this made me think about what my reaction would have been if anything had happened.

I also found Honey's reaction interesting - saying that she didn't want Janet. I'm sure it must be common and may well be how I would react in that situation, but interesting because I just always thought that a child with a handicap or vulnerability (for want of a better word) would make the parents feel even more love and desire to protect.

That's lovely that you feel that way saadia
Unfortunatley though the stress and shock can cause new parents to just shut down emotions and not bond with baby and blank out all feelings, inc love.
Luckily didn't hapen with us but it is unfortunatley not uncommon and that must be soooo hard

I'm finding it really hard to watch. I keep wanting to shout at Honey, can't help it. I believe you when you say that some people would react like this Thomcat but what about that poor little baby who is not being loved or touched or bonded with? I have gone through the whole gammut (right word?) of emotions since we found out DS1 has special needs but never for one minute have I stopped loving or wanting to hold and hug DS1 - more so in fact. Is this really a common reaction?

I suppose it doesn't help that I found the actions of Honey whilst in labour(locking herself in the bathroom becuse she thought she might be having a boy instead of a girl, telling the midwife to go away, etc.) extremely irritating. I thought the scriptwriting at this point was very poor, but maybe this rejection storyline is realistic, I dunno... ??

God that Holland comparison is absolutely amazing and will stick in my mind although I have no knowledge of special needs. You should post it on the Eastenders website if it has a section for people wanting to understand what it's like.

Im 32 weeks pregnant with ds4 and was offered an amnio. I had my 20 week scan and was told everything was ok so didnt have the test. Watching Eastenders has totaly torn at my heart strings and made me so wish Id had that test. Im sure if there is anything wrong with this baby well all love it no matter what but I just cant stop thinking about it now. I just balled my eyes out when Honey found out Janet was ds.