What do I need to do?

[PrinceRogersNelson]

My DD is 5.6. She is in reception and has a number of difficulties.

She has speech and language disorder and delay.
She has dyspraxic symptoms meaning she has very poor fine and gross motor skills (she has difficulty holding a pencil correctly and therefore is in the very early stages of writing, she cannot yet pedal forward and has difficulty jumping)
She has very poor concentration span and she is hypermobile and has low muscle tone.
She does not have an overall diagnosis.

She is in reception and has a statement.

The problems we have are:
she frequently wets herself at school. She does not really do this at home - we do need to remind her to go, but she seems to be in control. Once it goes at school then she wets herself at home as well. It seems to become a habit. This is something that has been on her IEP since nursery and she still has accidents.
She eats lots of inappropriate things. Parts of computers, sand, cork, plants. I have bought her a chewy for school which they do seem to use and they say it works. However she still eats things she shouldn't.
She gets upset after school (or after childminder) once she is at home. At wil shout and scream and get very frustrated. Paticularly with her brother who only needs to walk in the room. School occasionally see this behaviour.
Today I have picked her up from the childminder to be told that she was found in the toilet at school and she had picked up someone else's poo, had smeared it on herself and the walls and had eaten some. School did not phone me about this so I do now know how it was dealt with apart from the fact that she was cleaned up.

Are these linked? What can I do? Who do I need to see? School are at a loss and I don't know what to do. I am pretty upset tonight about the poo incident.

what support does her statement provide? sounds like she needs a high level of 1:1.
I would not be impressed that school hadnt informed you about the poo incident. I would request a meeting with the head and express your concerns, ask what provision will be put into place to meet her needs. if after the meeting you are not happy with the outcome/ provision I would be requesting an emergency statement review.
is her statement specific in terms of provision?

We have a statement review end of next week. Well the meeting we have after 10 weeks or something.

I am going to email the head tomorrow and request a meeting. I do not get very far with class teacher or SENCO. But the head is straightforward.

She does not have a dedicated 1:1 she has support for learning. So fine and gross motor skills support and SALT etc. I need to check in terms of personal care support. Thing is she can be great and things are going well and then we have an upset like today.

I was wondering if it sounded like sensory issues?

yes the eating of non food items and poo incident could be caused by sensory difficulties. Also her motor skills development could be affected by sensory difficulties aswell. has she had a sensory assessment? you could for a referral to a OT trained in sensory integration.
have you noticed that when she draws with her pencil she either presses really hard or not hard enough?

She presses really hard.
She LOVES play fighting. The more people piled on top of her the better.
She needs a radio on to fall asleep.
She loves going high on a swing.

She is under an OT who will not do a sensory assessment as 'there is no empirical evidence that it makes any difference to kids'. And when I filled in a questionnaire it didn't come out as her having sensory issues. So if I want it I have to pay. Which is fine. I don't mind. I just don't want to be viewed as the weird Mother.

yep, certainly sounds like sensory issues to me. I would have her assessed by an OT trained in sensory integration.
her profile sounds very similiar to my dd. she is a sensory seeker - will swing very high, always on the go, loves jumping from heights, presses very hard with pencil when writing, makes random noises, swirls and rocks herself.
I had my dd assessed by an indie OT and it was the best thing I have ever done. I now understand why she behaves the way she does and why her motor skills are still delayed despite OT input - its all sensory related.
do you find that generally she is very heavy footed? will she hit her hands together really hard when clapping?

Yes she does all those things!

Can I ask what difference an OT will make. What will they do and how will it help?

Do you think the wetting herself could be that as well? That she likes the feedback it gives her?

dont worry about being 'that mother'. We are our children's only voice - if we dont advocate for them then what chance do they have?

the aim of sensory integration therapy is to regulate the senses so that eventually your dd will not need to do the things that she does to gain sensory input. This usually involves what the OT calls a 'sensory diet'. This is an environment based on your dds individual sensory issues and is designed to slowly regulate her need for sensory input - this can involve different sensory toys, textures, noises, suspended equipment etc. it will all depend on what your dd needs.
Also another option would be to pay privately for the assessment and then ask the LA to include her OT needs and provision within parts 2 and 3 of the statement. although this could include a sendist appeal, it would probably work out cheaper than paying for private therapy and be more effective to meet your dds needs as the OT could work with your dd within school.
Ultimately the SI therapy could improve her motor skills, behaviour, coordination, movement, concentration, handwriting etc.

Thank you both for taking the time to talk to me.

I had a chat with an OT a few months ago. It will have to be paid for privately as the NHS will simply not do it and I do not have the energy for arguing anymore.

I have the summer holidays coming up. We will do some
Work then.

The eating non edible objects and poo (called Pica) is also a sensory issue. It is usually associated with craving sensory stimulation in the mouth. The chewy is a great idea but she could also do with having planned oral sensory stimulation throughout the day to reduce her need to self stimulate through eating inappropriate things. Activities could be prompting to suck on her chewy, eating a really chewy food bar, brushing inside her mouth with a tooth brush (electric ones are great), holding a small massager on her cheeks) simply having a drink from a sippy cup or sports water bottle. Depending on the severity this could be once an hour or every 15 mins. You know you have the frequency right when the inappropriate behaviour reduces. Best thing though is to get a personalised assessment for her through an OT. Request a private one if your NHS one won't.

Forgot about the wetting! This can also be linked...if you think about when you go to the toilet it's because you get a message from your body to do so. For little ones who's sensory systems are out of sync they don't always get the message or they only get the message / sensation when their bladder is full to bursting. By which point it is too late. Again, see if school will take her to the toilet at regular intervals.

Thanks.

With the wetting why is she sometimes great and sometimes not?

She will often run to us that she needs a wee and then stand there and wee (like she cannot feel it until the last minute). Yet if we are out in public she will always go to the toilet in time.