Help me please with my DD

[BioSuisse]

DD is 2.5. She is a handful. She is my second DC, so i only have DD1 to go off, but i have always found her a very difficult child. I am not the only one who struggles with her, most of my family won't babysit her because she is a 'tiger' and 'too much'.

From day one we have struggled; not feeding enough, not sleeping much, very clingy, crys alot, get upset very easily, very particular about things, huge tantrums, violent towards herself and others.

I have always just assumed she is just a hard child but today it was suggested by her Nursery that she is a special needs child. We live abroad so i don't know where to go to for help. Her pediatrician is not much help, but due to health insurance reasons we can't switch to another pediatrician for a couple of months. Her nursery have asked that i withdraw her until September/ October when they will have more staff and be able to cope with her better. She has been attending nursery for two mornings a week for about 4 months. It makes me angry that they can't cope with a few hours a morning twice a week. I am upset that i will now no longer get a break from DD. I only sent her to nursery to give myself breathing space.

I don't know what is wrong with DD, if anything at all. I have no knowledge of special needs, if indeed she is a special needs child at all, i don't know. Simply put she is:

• emotionally fragile, she seems to get upset about tiny little things such as this morning she was upset because her sister was wearing shoes on the wrong feet, the dog went in her bedroom.
• she is violent towards herself and others, she bites, pinches out of frustration (to put it in context i am being bitten approx 20-25 times a day, pinched with roughly the same frequency).
• she is constantly on the go, and yet sleeps little. I have never known such an intense child and that is often pointed out by others around me.
• she is super clingy.

DD doesn't want anybody else but me. It has been so hard to get her to go to nursery but out of sheer frustration on my behalf i have pushed her to go. Her behaviour has been like this her whole life. I don't know what to do. DH won't have another DC now, DD1 tells me she wants her sister to go away. Does anybody know what, if anything, is wrong?

I agree with polter if you think there is something going on then you are probably right.

I would recommend making some notes and maybe keeping a diary of any unusual behaviours or difficulties, what causes them [if you know] and how you manage them. You are probably already putting strategies into place to help her without even realising.
If you can get any video evidence of her difficulties that would help the paediatrician too. As you can gaurantee your Dd will turn into an angel as soon as you walk in to the office.

Try to be kind to yourself, good luck

Thank you for the help. I will deffo try the video. Her worst tantrums are when no one else is around, just close family, but the neighbours are starting to notice and commenting. It will be great to show our Dr just what i mean with a video. Thank you.

We have had developments, her nursery haven't exactly been straight with me, they don't want her back in the autumn at all but were too spineless to tell me directly.

Does sound a lot worse than your usual toddle tantrums so you are definitely right to pursue it......after all mums don't generally trapse their kids round the experts for a laugh, there is usually something there. As her language gets better the tantrums may improve as she will be able to express herself.....maybe focusing on what things she really likes doing and concentrate on those and try and reduce as many triggers as you can if you know what they are.does sound like you need some respite, can you do some "tag your it" parenting with Dad for a break.