School-Don't know what to do

[tiptoes]

Am having problems getting my ds 5 into school this morning.

In another thread I explained how my ds who has selective mutism was staying behind in reception away from his peers of last year and had been making progress.
Am in talks as I don't agree with the decision.The head is still adamant this is the right decision.

He went back on tuesday and I had to stay for an hour and then he was very distressed and clung to me and would,nt let go.Yesterday he was upset as well.Today he is very anxious and keeps saying he does'nt like school and he knows I will leave him there.
Have been in tears this morning and don'nt know what to do apart from drag him there.He has a new teacher and talking to her am not sure if she understands ds's SM.She said yesterday she was talking to him about why he does'nt like school and am not sure if ds is feeling pressured to talk.He had'nt talked in school for 9 months then after that with me going into school he had started to talk.Then they go and change his classmates and his confidence has gone where as before I had no problems getting him into school.

Anyone else been in this situation would be gratful for some advice,am feeling distraught and don't know what to do next.

Tiptoes

The onus is very much these days on parents to apply for a Statement. Do not rely on the school to do it; I say this for two reasons. First off, if you write the request then you know its been done (some schools can take a long time to get around to writing to the LEA) but this is the clincher- if school apply for the Statement and the LEA say no, they have no right of appeal. Parents only have that right.

The Headteacher you spoke to is only partly correct. It won't take six months for the LEA to make a decision as to whether they will agree to assess or not, but it can take around six months for the attendant paperwork accompanying a Statement to be completed. Its a long and drawn out process.

It will do no harm at all to apply for the Statement to your LEA, if they say no you can appeal the decision and I would suggest you appeal if this happens.

IPSEA are very good when it comes to this whole area and I would suggest you visit their website:-
www.ipsea.org.uk.

Have to disagree with statement applications being down to parents. Although agree that some schools can take time to get it done, think that's down to a lack of understanding of the process unfortunately!
It should really be a joint process! The school needs to provide information and evidence that they have provide apporpriate and different support for your ds and that despite this he has continued not make little or no progress. This can also be the reason why it seems to take ages... as we (a school) need to show that support has been provided over a period of time (usually 6 months). This is fine if the school have good record keeping procedures etc. in place (it's really just a matter of collating information... IEP's, observations from specialists, assessments etc) but obviously it takes time if the school does not have good procedures in place.
I strongly believe that the statement application is more likely to be accepted if the school and parents work together on the application. I would never apply for a statement for a child without gathering information and a written statement from parents and including any and all information from specialist the parents have involved.
Also, it is correct that a school cannot appeal the decision regarding statements however regardless of who makes the application a parent can appeal.
With regards to the likelihood of getting a statement...unless a child is quite significantly 'underachieving' it is unlikely that will get a statement (down to dollars and cents unfortunately) They must meet a strict criteria, these goal posts seem to be contantly moved back to make it more and more difficult for a child to meet criteria!! There are different sets of criteria for different needs e.g Learning and Cognition, Communication and Interaction, Behaviour, Social and Emotional Development.
I would say given that your ds had made progress with regard to his SM and that he is (from what i can understand) quite academically able it would be difficult to show that he meets criteria for a statement in relation to his specific needs.
I would suggest that you speak to the school (do they know you have a group of militant SENco's at your finger tips?!? ... i'm starting to feel a bit sorry for them) about being involved in his termly IEP. They should be reviewing and setting new targets as appropriate. You could also ask to meet with the Educational Psychologist to discuss the criteria for statement which would apply to your ds.
Obviously this is all based on the way the system works in my area, but i hope it will be of some use.
I think you deserve a bit of a rest... wait and see how things go, it sounds very promising given all the singing etc that's happening in youtr house at the moment. Big congratluations again that it has all worked out!!

oops
'Continued to make little or no progress'
'pounds and pence'... you think i would have got that after 6 years!!

Hi Kiwikid

Unfortunately from both reading experiences of others along with my own I have surmised that many schools have little to no idea of how to go about dealing with statement applications. Of course it should be a joint process but very often it is not - the best case scenario is for the school to back up the parents with regards to a Statement application. IEPs are well and good if they are acted upon and are well written. IEP's however, carry no legal weight unlike a Statement.
Parents and school should meet when an IEP is drawn up; again this does not always happen.

I therefors believe it is down to the parents these days to get the extra support their child needs if extra help is needed in class. No-one else is going to do it for them. As you correctly state as well school have no right of appeal if the LEA turn down their request. A good school should be supportive of such applications and help parents; not necessarily write the initial letter requesting assessment to the LEA. This is all that is needed to start with.

What if school delays writing the letter?
The last thing a parent needs is for a school to hold up the initial application process by further delaying writing to the LEA.

Some LEA's do adopt blanket policies of exclusion e.g saying a child won't get a statement unless they're in the botton two percent etc. Such policies are illegal!!!. The acid test is that if a child's needs cannot be met from the school budget then a Statement from the LEA should be issued. As you say though such things cost money - I believe it costs around 2K to set up a Statement. The problems LEA's have as well is that the department who receives the money also decides how it is spent. Perhaps the two should be separated.

With best wishes

Attila

How did itgo\this morning tiptoes?

Was DS ready at 6am

"It may be there are some schools that do not have either the will or the resources to act as quickly as they should, but there are many more that do go the extra mile, and feel the children in their care are 'their' children too".

Hi Cat,

Why do you think some schools do not have the resources and or the will to help some children who need extra help in class?. Re willingness to help its partly the overall attitude in some schools from the Headteacher down. I'll give you an example here; at my DS's infants school there was a Headteacher who ultimately only cared about the SATS results and her standing in the wider community. Special needs along with anyone who was "average" (for want of a better term) were not her priority. This person gets replaced by a new Headteacher who takes one look at the school, decides it looks something akin to a prison camp (grey walls) and starts decorating to cheer the place up. New carpet is also laid. Small changes granted but ones which have gone a small way to improve the whole ethos of the place. This person now knows all the children by name and she makes a point of handing out certificates and stars etc for good behaviour in assembly. A happier school can only be a good thing for all the children and staff who work there. Also the profile of special needs has risen, mainly because this person has taught in an area where this has been both seen and picked up on.

Granted some schools are very good but they aren't all like this and the older the child gets the harder it seems to access extra support. It has been the parents in the main who have initially secured the support needed for their children.

There is nothing between School Action Plus and a Statement in terms of provision - perhaps there should be something in place so that many children do not fall through the cracks in the system that after all is supposedly designed to help them.

Hi there,

Sorry Tiptoes!
Feel as though the original purpose of this thread has been lost due to different opinions about statementing and the huge issue of SEN provision in education. I know it's a difficult road for parents but i also know that there are many schools and teachers out there who do not place SAT's results about the personal, social and emotional needs of the children in their care. One final point... in the last 18 months I have applied for 5 Statements (with varying degrees of involvement from the parents) for children at my school, 3 of these were granted. 1 parent appealed the decision, was forced to go to tribunal and won.
I have huge admiration for parents who are willing to fight so hard to gain what should be provided for them as a matter of course.

Hope everything is going well with your DS . Will not keep on about SEN provision... could write another essay on it!

Thanks everyone for your support and great advice.Have had problems with my computer and have just got back online.

DS has continued to be happy about going to school and just hoping it will all be ok on Monday after the weekend off.

I am a bit disapointed that the new teacher has'nt really introduced herself properly to me and on the last 3 days of last week since ds joined her class she has'nt approached me to tell me how he has settled in.I have approached her and asked and she has just said he's been fine.

Thanks for all the information on statementing as I know nothing about this.I will take it all on board and speak to my SALT and get her opinion.
I do wonder though if we decide not to go for a statement if the school will still get one on one help for ds?

Tiptoes, haven't read all the stuff about statementing on here, only got as far as he'd changed classes - fantastic news by the way - last time I was lurking.

It's unlikely (but not totally unheard of) that he will get 1:1 help without a statement. Mainly due to budget unfortunately. However, if you do go for a statement and it is given they will decide on a certain number of 'units' (periods of time) that he needs support and give the school the money to employ someone for that many hours. If he does get it they may give him support for say, literacy, numeracy, maybe science and a couple of other subjects but not for PE, break and lunchtime. That's only an example but the hours will be given to cover the times for which he has the greatest need for support.

Does that make sense? In the meantime I would go into school and ask his classteacher and/or SENCO about writing an Individual Education Plan (IEP) and getting him placed on the SEN register so that they and he are working towards specific goals that they are both aware of. It shouldn't be anything huge, just small targets that are reviewed every half term at least.

Apologies if you know any or all of this. It's a mine field dealing with schools when you have a child who is out of the 'bog standard' range and I get the feeling yours perhaps isn't as open and helpful as they could be.

Olihan-thanks for the information.
The SALT semed to think children with SM don't necesssarily require a statememt.It s difficult to know what to do for the best.
I really need to get back to the school and find out what the chances are of DS getting extra support without a statment in place.

Update-DS is continuing to do well in year one and settling down to the workload and homework.

He is stil not talking in class and I am starting the sliding in technique with him this week so hopefully we can continue the progress we made before summer term.

Someone from the mental health team rang yesterday and DS's paediatrician has referred DS.
Someone will be coming round to talk to me initally and then will call round to see DS and just play games with him and get an overall view.
They want to try and find out what the underlying anxiety is and see if they can determine why he does'nt talk in school.

Am not sure how the visit will go as DS will obviously be wary at first and not sure if he will talk but at least he will be in his own enviroment so less stressful for him.

The things I am concerned about is his anxiety with going to the toilet at school and also at home.He is a very sensitive little boy and small things seem to get him upset.He can sometimes get very frustrated and shout a lot but I suspose this is understandable as he is quiet at school all day long so he is probably just venting his frustration when he gets home.
He tends to be quite a perfectionist when writing or drawing anything and gets very upset if he makes a mistake and has to start again.

Not sure how much of this is due to his SM or whether he is just being a typical 5 year old.

If anyone has had any experience with anxiety in their children and they have seen a psychologist i would be gratful as to any information on what to expect from the visit.

hello tiptoes, my DS has severe anxiety due to his AS and is not attending school as a result.

We have seen 3 psychologists and 2 psychiatrists and the best one is the current one, they use different techniques, oe drawing pictures, talking about things with them, dont know if this will be the same with your DS as he has SM.

We have learnt what triggers DS anxiety and tend to not put him in situations that do that although at times it is unavoidable.

HTH

Thanks for the reply jenk1-
It is so difficult when dealing with anxiety especially on a child as their childhood should be carefree.
As you say it is unavoidable to not put them in some stressful situations but I suspose it is learning how to deal with it as much for me as for him.

Not sure how long we will have to wait for someone to call round but she said it should'nt be long,so I should be gratful that they are dealing with the problem sooner rather than later.I can't help feeling guilty wondering if it's something I have done or have'nt done and try to be light hearted as far as DS is concerned to ease his anxiety.
The thing is outside of school he is a confident little boy and displays no anxiety when out and about and loves nothing more than getting in the car and going to new places .

You say your DS has seen 5 professionals,I surpose it's about finding the right person who will click with your child.
How old is your DS?
Am glad you have found someone now that you feel is helping.
Like adults children take to some people and not others ,although DS tends to respond more to males outside the home for some reason.

update-Just went to DS's parent evening and he is doing realy well even though he is still not talking in class.
His teacher says he listens to everything and his work is neat and ordered.
She says she only has to put something on the blackboard and ds will copy it straight away and knows what to do.She said she could put it in big letters on a piece of paper and stick it in front of some childrens faces and they still would'nt know what to do.Which I thought was a bit un professional of her to say that about other children

I asked what support she was geting in school for ds's selective mutism and she said none.She said she had been given some leaflets on SM but it was more luck than judgement she was getting it right.
She had not dealt with a child with SM before.

I am now going to have to arrange a meeting with the head ,SENCO and the SALT so we can discuss how we are going to deal with this.
I would have thought something would have been put in place.
I just feel as the parent I am having to do their jobs for them.

Glad you DS is doing well Tiptoes. I am not surprised about the lack of action on behalf of the school. My DS has AS and his teacher this year is excellent, but for the previous 2 years his teachers have been in one case awful and in the other indifferent. They displayed no interest in his SN or in helping him to cope with his difficulties. NO training was given to them and I never once got the impression they had made any effort to do any research for themselves.
Good luck with your meeting.

Thanks Tiggiwinkle-the school ds goes to is meant to specialise in special needs!!

Glad your DS has now got a teacher who is helpful.
DS 's new teacher seems very nice and was very pleased with ds's progress in school.

As you say I seem to be doing all the research for them.I am waiting for the SALT to get back to me to see if she can offer any advice.

Maybe I should just go in with a pile of literature on SM for them.It also concerns me that the teaching assistants or parents who help out in DS's class wil be unaware of ds's situation and may not be handling it as the should.