This probably should be posted in SN teens etc but I need some support so apologies for duplicate postings.
Ds is 13 and was dx age 8 with asd and odd, he was dx in 2012 with ADHD too and is on medication to help control this and his anxiety.
He has been at a private priory school since he was 8 and it's been brilliant. They have always been amazing and supportive and after the 2 failed mainstream schools it was a releif that he was in placement in a specialist school.
Once ds hit puberty we have had issues with aggression. He's always been aggressive but with the increased testosterone it has become worse.
Even more recently (the last year) things have reached crisis point a few times and school have been ringing the police when ds is in crisis.
Last Monday I received a phone call to say ds had punched his teacher in the face and they had rang the police and were pressing charges. Dh collected ds and we waited for the police who didn't turn up till Tuesday. Ds was on formal exclusion on this day. Police advised that ds wouldn't be formally interviewed till Thursday evening and that ds should not have contact with his teacher. School said they couldn't accommodate this and the decision was made to keep ds home on authorised absence until Monday 16th.
Ds was interviewed at a police station with a solicitor and the result was he was not charged with assault and that the police had some concerns over the procedures used during the incident. They spoke to the school about these concerns on Friday and we didn't hear anything back
Yesterday (16th) dh took ds back to school for a re integration meeting but when they sat down the head started showing ds pictures of bite marks on staff etc that had happened over 2 years ago. This caused ds to go into crisis again and school refused to accept him back. We don't know if he is excluded or if it's unauthorised absence or not.
Schools policy has always been that they draw a line under events once punishment has been completed but this hasn't happened and I can only assume it's because they were not happy with the police investigation.
With regards the incident basically school are saying ds was calm and targeted his teacher and punched her. Ds says he had been in crisis all
Morning (this was confirmed by school to police after initial questioning) and that ds felt threatened as he had told staff to leave him alone lots of times. He was in am open courtyard that poses no risk to him and is alarm gated so ds was safe. Apparently ds was in crisis asking to be left alone and 3 staff tried to restrain him and he hit out and in the confusion the teacher got hurt.
I don't know 100% what the truth is but the massive grey area and knowing ds as I do would lean to his side being more believable.
School have closed ranks. 4 teachers are now saying it was a calculated and controlled attack on the teacher. 2 of these teachers were seen by dh literally sitting on ds before police arrived and heard telling ds that everything was going to be ok. So their story has changed since last week.
I'm struggling with all of this.
If I believed for one second that ds attacked someone in cold blood I would march him to the police myself but I don't think this was the case and police agree. I don't understand why school are now dragging up events from over two years ago either!
We have been working hard with cahms to get ds meds sorted and are have if monthly meets with his psych for this and psych has also been into school to talk to teachers about how to support ds more during this tricky period. He is confident that once puberty slows down (huge growth spurts at moment making meds ineffective) that it will all calm down.
So sorry this is so long and I don't think I've typed everything but just wondered if anyone had been through this etc?