Sigh just lost my temper with autistic dd.

[Imsuchamess]

I am psychotically depressed. I haven't slept in two weeks. I went through Dhs FB last night and found inappropriate messages (I don't want to go into this). I have three dc with food poisoning including myself.

Dd asked for a banana. I hate giving her bananas they are one of her favourite foods but she is so picky about them that even though I see nothing wrong with it I usually end up opening about five before I find one acceptable.

Today I was highly stressed when she asked for a banana I opened one and despite there being nothing obviously wrong refused it. So I opened what appeared to be another perfect banana picked all the bits of very fastidiously (she won't accept it If there is the slightest bump) . After spending yet another 5 minutes picking the bits off she rejected the banana.

So I snapped "she either eats the banana or she doesn't get one" now she won't stop crying and rocking. She hates loud noise and is now refusing to allow me to get her a banana.

I feel like shit I shouldn't have lost my patience with her. It's not her fault I'm stressed. I'm going to go and take some prn meds to calm me down.

Why didn't I just do the fucking banana?

I hear you.

This is the part of ASD that only people who live with it understand.

I'll make some and offer a virtual hug.

Thanks both . Sadly she will not accept pieces of a banana if it breaks in two she won't eat it.

DD has many issues with food, bananas cannot be in the least bit spotty, and if I happen to mush a bit at the top where I start to peel it, she can't eat the whole fruit, 'big' food is a no-go area, so has to have wafer thin ham and won't eat food that has changed state during the cooking process, will only eat mashed potato if it's bought as mashed potato.

This is infuriating at times, feeding her such a limited diet costs a lot of money to boot.

I know you said you didn't want to talk about other issues, but I hope you're ok

I don't mind talking about most of it just not the inappropriate messages as I need to process first.

I am very very stressed and tbh I'm really struggling particularly with my mental health.

Hi OP sorry you're having a hard time. Can really identify with the food frustration. DD has such a limited diet and will only eat fishfingers cut into triangles with no fish coming out the edges or its too 'fishy' . Also won't eat my homemade muffins if they have holes in (i.e tiny air bubble holes) she checks them in detail and the majority are rejected. I hate it. Muffins with banana and carrot are the only fruit / veg she eats so I persevere.

Yep that sounds like my dd she is very fussy about most foods and often there is nothing wrong with rejected item. She will not drink water or squash unless I have left the glass to stand for 30 minutes so it is room temperature. She is fine with pop as that is always room temperature.

I do find it frustrating.