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Are your children expected to explain why they need an appointment with the Paediatrician??

5 replies

ThreeFroglets · 11/06/2014 14:16

Just that really.....when I take 10 year old DS to any appointment, Paediatrician, ENT, A&E, etc, HE is asked what the problem is, not me.
This would be fine, but DS is diagnosed with a Severe Phonological Speech Disorder, with articulation difficulties and a nasal quality. It is well acknowledged and documented in his notes, he is having weekly speech therapy, and has recently been given a communication book. He also has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

Last week he had an ENT appointment to rule out any missed causes because his speech is not improving the way the speech therapist feels it should. (He had a previous hearing test a couple of years ago, where I was told his hearing was borderline for needing any help, still on waiting list for detailed hearing test).

I had obviously explained to DS what the appointment was for, they'd look in his mouth and ears, etc., probably ask him about swallowing, etc., run through what we'd say, ie. speech therapy wanted to get him checked over.

So, in we go, the consultant refuses to speak to me, and asks DS 'what is wrong with your ears?'.....cue DS looking confused, not knowing what to say because as far as we know there is nothing wrong with his ears.
Next question is 'which ear is the worst, left or right?'.....again DS flounders and looks to me to answer because as far as we know, both ears are fine, he doesn't have a 'good' ear.

Because I then HAD to insist that the consultant listened to me about DS's speech, he didn't ask DS any of the questions we had rehearsed, didn't let him use his communication book and then got the idea that DS WOULD not speak, not COULD not speak. It is not a behavioural problem, DS is shy because people do not understand him, this has dented his confidence, but if people are patient, then he will speak and I repeat what he says to translate.

After looking at DS's throat, palate, etc., with a camera, the consultant found nothing wrong at all, but seemed surprised that DS was upset.....he was upset because the camera had hurt him and he was frustrated at not being able to speak up for himself.

I understand that the doctors will need to hear DS speak to hear the problems he has, but I wish they would just let me explain the background first, and make sure that they have read the notes - it feels like DS has to prove how bad his speech is each time he has an appointment. (There are a couple of regular ones we go to such as orthotics where the chap we see is fantastic with DS)

Does any one else go through this? Is it normal practice? Even when DS broke his arm, he was expected to give his own name and address, etc. which he can't do at the best of times, let alone when he is in agony Hmm

OP posts:
bochead · 11/06/2014 15:06

Make up a laminated card to show people at the start of appointments along the lines of:-

"I have a speech disorder, therefore my Mum & TA help me to communicate in the following ways:- . . . . . . . . . . "

I'm going to make up one of these for DS's future appointments www.cerebra.org.uk/English/gethelp/personalportfolios/Pages/default.aspx as it's a bit more detailed.

DS refused point blank to participate in an assessment recently and I think sitting through one too many scenarios like the one you describe above may have contributed to it. He has more scheduled over the next few months so I'm hoping that something like this that the prof can be given to read at the beginning of every appointment will help alleviate DS's frustration with the whole darn system.

I don't know if it will work, but I reckon it is worth a shot.

zzzzz · 11/06/2014 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreeFroglets · 11/06/2014 18:00

Thanks for replying........That Cerebra guide is just like his communication book, My name is: xxx, I have a communication disorder, which DS was holding, but by the time he had been interrogated about his ears, and it was clear that the doctor would not be asking any personal info, DS just handed it back to me :(
This was the first time he'd attempted to use it in a medical appointment. I was hoping for more success, a big part of the reason that DS has been given the book is to make his life easier in these appointments.

The attitude of the doctors is confrontational, I don't think it is too much to ask to just listen to me for two minutes to explain the situation before speaking to DS.

The doctors all act as though I an over-bearing mother who is not letting DS speak...this is not the case at all, but if I do not help DS then he can't manage. He gets so flustered about the pronounciation that his mind goes blank and he is unsure what to say, then people ask him a question and he will just say 'yeah' no matter what because that is the word all people understand. I always let him speak first and then repeat, but was being shushed, which I found rude.

It IS soul destroying, and gets the appointment off to a bad start - we are going in there with a physical disorder that can't be seen at first glance, so that has to be proved also (although, once again, diagnosed and well documented in his notes).

I wondered if everyone else's child with communication difficulties have these situations, because I have two other children whose speech is fine, and they get asked direct questions 50% of the time.

I think maybe I'll make an A4 laminated sheet, possibly ask DS's speech therapist to sign it, with a brief explanation....and refuse to let them speak to DS without reading it first.

We have the hearing test and an appoinyment with a new paediatrician to look forward to, so perfect opportunity to try it out.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 11/06/2014 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreeFroglets · 29/06/2014 13:21

I had to take DS to A&E this week, he refused point blank to use his communication book, or to speak to the receptionist :(
Luckily for him, they were so busy the doctor didn't care that I spoke for him! He did say a few words after a while but I had to repeat them for him...I think I need to take him to a few more non-stressful places and get him to try again with the book. He had used it successfully before, but is now refusing to try...oh well plenty to tell the Family Fund assessor who is coming on Wednesday - we've asked for an iPad on advice from his speech therapists.
Does anyone's child have an iPad to communicate with? Is it recognised/taken seriously by medical staff?

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