Risk of exclusion

[CurrerBell]

I have such a fear of DS being excluded from school... He's in Year 2 and has Aspergers. We are trying to get a statement for him but the assessment was recently refused by the LEA (we are re-submitting, but he's about to start Juniors so it's complicated as to which school will apply).

In the paperwork for the statutory assessment, the SENCO said they were trying hard not to exclude DS but that he was 'at risk of exclusion' if his behaviour escalates.

This school has been pretty good at supporting DS, but these words are really playing on my mind. I know the Junior school has permanently excluded a boy with SEN. Even if DS were excluded for half a day I would find it devastating and I can't help feeling my trust and relationship with the school would be broken. Am I being unreasonable? When the SENCO brought it up I had to try so hard not to burst into tears - and I never cry in meetings! I want to prepare myself for if it happens and how to handle it... What are DS's rights if he is excluded?

Yes, appealing is probably the quickest route. Hopefully, they will concede in the light of the exclusions.

I take Agnes's point about taking care not to withdraw from the education system and I guess we were in a better position in that we had a draft statement in hand when we took the decision. We also took the gamble as we had decided to move from the current school anyway. The letter was very carefully worded to make it clear that we were withdrawing ds2 because current school could not meet needs, that the events of the last weeks of term were causing him distress and there was a high chance he would be excluded anyway and that we accepted the HT's kind offer to send work home (it was marked off on their register as educated off-site). The letter was also copied into every possible person we could think of to cover our backs and we never heard a complaint from any.

The reduced hours is another strategy that might work or to keep him off on days like sports days which might be trigger points.

Just had the letter from the head. The wording is concerning me. It says DS was excluded for "throwing chairs" although goes on to say it was one chair, which happened to land on the TA's foot. In the previous letter she wrote DS was excluded for "pinning his TA against the wall" but did not go further into the incident or the reasons why he was in meltdown. It makes it sounds like he deliberately attacked her.

She also says DS's "safe place" was available but he "chose not to use it". She also writes about DS being given the chance to make "good choices" but not taking them...

I am not going to pull DS out of school right now as it might make it harder to get the support/statement, but I might consider a reduced timetable if things continue this way. The trouble is this new TA has been employed to work in the afternoons (and we fought hard to get this support in place), so I'd be making her job redundant if I took him out in the afternoons. But it's the afternoons when all these incidents are happening.

Just seen your message OneIn Eight - yes that's a good point about keeping him off on sports days etc. There are a whole load of things like that coming up.

He's currently on a 'moving up' day up at Juniors. They told me yesterday they have no budget for extra support for DS. What a nightmare.

... and this basic lack of understanding says a lot about why your son is having problems.

It is not that he chooses not to use the safe place but that he is unable to use the safe place. It might be that he is not able to understand that he is feeling stressed. It might be that whatever safe place they have allocated is not a safe place for him (ds2 was allocated a place in a room that had people walking through it regularly so did not work for him but would lock himself in the boys toilets on occasion because that was safe for him. Have they role played using the safe place, have they done work with him on how his body feels before he has one of these incidents (there are several anger management books that might be helpful).

He doesn't make good choices because for him at that moment he is unable to make a choice.

I totally agree OneInEight. I just haven't got the energy to fight his current school any more...

On the positive side DS had a great morning at Juniors! I can't believe it - he's feeling really positive and is like a different child today. They had him going round with a camera to photograph all the staff and put names to faces for a booklet they made for him.

He spent some positive time with the new SENCO there who actually got him to speak about his feelings(!!). He said he feels "angry" at school and describes how it makes his arms and tummy feel. She seems to have lots of strategies in place to work with him from the start.

Juniors are also supporting my appeal for SA and have already written a proactive email to SEN team today. They are applying for emergency funding to get a TA in place for September.

So a bit of a turnaround today from yesterday! Hopefully Juniors will be a positive fresh start for him.

They are really letting him down.

I would recommend contacting IPSEA and having a good chat with them. They have always been very knowledgeable and helpful when I have needed to call them (and more neutral than parent partnership!)

www.ipsea.org.uk/

That sounds really hopeful - hope they continue in the way they have started.

Thanks - I will contact IPSEA. PP have been great actually but I haven't spoken with IPSEA yet.

DS's current head has rung this evening and said they think he should just do mornings from now all (as all the incidents are happening in the afternoons). I agreed as I just don't want any more incidents and he'll soon be leaving anyway. He's really not coping and I'd rather have him at home rather than permanently excluded.

There was another serious incident this afternoon involving another child so we just can't go on like this.

I did raise the wording of the exclusion letters with the head and she agreed she hadn't meant it as if DS was making a 'deliberate choice'. I couldn't be bothered to push it too much but hopefully it will make her think about using such loaded language about a child with ASD.