Need help asd behaviour.

[Imsuchamess]

DS age 8 is being investigated for AS and ADHD. Dd age 4 has diagnosed autism. Even though dd is a lot more severely affected she has the ability to pretend where DS doesn't.

Dd likes to take one of my books of the book shelf and pretend to read it. She does this frequently. DS doesn't understand she is playing and starts to get upset. He tries to make dd accept she cannot read. I tell him to leave her alone but it's almost like he is compelled to act on this.

Dd gets upset by his interference. The whole thing escalates until both dc are having a meltdown. I am so ashamed that such a little thing gets blown so out of proportion. I am at the end of my tether. How do I address this issue?

Oh I feel your pain!
Could you get your ds aside and sort of say " isn't it funny that little dd thinks she's reading ! Shall we pretend she is too even though we know she isn't?"
I'm wondering if you can appeal to his older ,wiser brother side.
Ds ( he is 5 years older than his sister ) went through a very similar phase of trying to control her. I think it was very difficult for him because he adored his baby sister and then she had to go and spoil it by getting bigger developing a will of her own! The feeling of compulsion to bend her to his will was particularly difficult to deal with
I got through it by appealing to him as "older brother knows different because he's older" and by talking to him almost adult to adult . He could be rather pompous at times so it worked but I really had to keep on top of it. I also used a social story with him about it.
They are now 16 and 11 btw...and v close so there was no lasting damage to the phase.
Good luck !

Thank you very much I will give it a try.