so fed up, hard to stay motivated at the moment

[cansu]

feel free to ignore. Maybe moaning on here will help me get over it, who knows. Have two dc with ASD, one v severe, other quite severe. No family nearby, just me and dp, both work, dp also aspergers so hard work at times. Just tried to get bloody respite from ss. Looks like we have no chance. Spent two hours going through sorry saga of our lives to get sympathetic looks and non commital crap about resources being stretched. feel so fed up, just want a bloody break and a normal sodding life. Feel incredibly sorry for myself and am finding it hard to motivate myself to get up, clean up kitchen and carry on. Its all so relentless and depressing. OK moan over, as you were.

Hi Cansu

I couldn't read this without commenting, my 6yo has ASD I feel the same as you sometimes too

Thank you Drawings. I appreciate it. I know there are lots of us out there; most of the time I just carry on and from the outside we look like we cope just fine, but somstimes it feels unbearably shit and I just want to get into bed and refuse to take part in it all.

Cansu Have SS told you, you wont be getting any respite? I wish I had some resources to give you.

Sorry to hear it is so tough at the moment.

Can you ask them to put on writing exactly why they can't/won't help you?

Surely lack of resources is not a valid excuse for not helping a family with two child with asd - one of them severely so.

Could you contact the local carers network and ask for their advice?

More or less. I need to wait for them to make formal decision but they were clearly just going through paperwork. I don't know why I feel so upset by it tbh as it is what I expected. I will no doubt carry on tomorrow and pull myself together for work. Thank you for replying though - it does help. I don't know about you but I seem to get like this, accepting it and just getting on with it for months and then something goes wrong or and I just suddenly feel shit about it all. Off to bed now, but again thanks for the kind words.

I feel like that some times. Mostly I'm fine then wham! It's all to much to bear.

Have you got a careers support group in your area? We are on a one year wait to get assessed for respite care.

Silc payments? There are grants out there but it's not constant respite

The people who did the assessment are not the decision makers so their opinions not strictly relevant - although it would help if they went about it determined to give you what you need rather than the other way round! Also lack of resource doesnt trump need. Can you get professionals to support your respite application? They can provide supporting documentation that its difficult to manage in your situation without help. Also maybe you and your husband can go to gp and discuss the impact of this on your physical and mental health, that would also support why you need respite. Finally contact a family were useful informing us how to go about getting respite. They have a PDF on their website plus were good on the phone talking me through how to get awarded respite to actually happen in practice. Dont give up on getting respite if you need it.

Hi cansu I have two with autism and I feel the same , it's just two hard sometimes , hope you get some help