Not happy very angry!

[Imsuchamess]

Dd who has asd started crying at bedtime saying her 1:1 told her she would cut her tongue of with scissors if she kept talking.

She has asd 1:1 should have known she would take it literally!

Am I overreacting to go down and play hell over this in the morning.

Oh FFS!!

What a stupid thing to say! My Dd3 would have been very upset by that.

What is the matter with these people? The 1:1

Wtf?? Not over reacting at all, stupid woman to say that

Thanks both. I am shaking with rage. My poor dd must of been terrified. Not only that but she doesn't speak much anyway without someone making her afraid to talk.

I don't think you are over reacting either.

Beyond awful!

And that is from the 1:1 who is there to support dd. does she know anything about ASD.

Poor dd

Quite understand you are upset however I have found out the hard way criticising school just leads to nasty defensiveness and keeping you at arms length / out the picture.

Better to raise it with SENCO and say the teacher clearly has a training need in understanding the difficulties children with autism can have with language; can the SENCO arrange for a training session to be delivered by outreach / SLT for teachers on language e.g. literal use, metaphors, idioms etc. Can SENCO ask teacher to try as much as possible to use language that can't be misinterpreted (say what she means and means what she says) and avoid threats in particular. If they say well teachers can't be expected to do that all the time etc etc then say well the best way to address the problem longer term is to include specific language programmes on the IEP to address language difficulties re literal use etc and ask SENCO / SLT to design one for the next IEP

Ask SENCO to give you some feedback after has spoken to the teacher.

Sometimes being ultra reasonable can achieve more than a rant (its easy for me to say that as its not my child, when it is, I am not so reasonable!)

You are right Agnes thank you for your excellent post. I will force myself to discuss this calm and rationally.

Agnes is right.

Polite but firm might be a better approach.

However no matter what you say they will probably take it as criticism (I may be biased as hate school right now)

It is hard though when it is your child they are messing with.

Good luck.

Dh is going down he is generally a lot calmer a person than me so he is the best one to complain.

She was a hour and half late going to sleep last night. So he can say about that with good conscience. Though he best get it sorted because he thinks it was such a stupid thing to say that dd must be wrong. But I informed him I know she is sometimes muddled and confused but she was very clear and certain about this.

Plus where on earth would she pick that up? I get that it may have been said in a joking way and if it came of a teacher uneducated about autism then ok I wouldn't be as angry. But her 1:1 is supposed to be specially trained to deal with problems like hers she should have known better.

That's not even something you should say to NT children

I like zzzzz's approach.

That's absolutely horrific. You wouldn't say that to an NT child. Wtf was the 1-2-1 thinking?

Whilst I think Agnes is right, I would be so overwhelmed with fury at this that I would not hold back. I would be calm but utterly furious and would want to make a formal complaint.

I would get your facts straight first and I like zzzzz's approach but then raise merry hell.

Well to update dh spoke to dds teacher he approached it like zzzzz said. The teacher tried to deny that 1:1 would have said that. So dh said yes Dd may have misinterpreted but 1:1 needs to be careful what she says or dd may misinterpret it and as she was very upset could she please have a word. So she agreed.

Ourvye, I can imagine it getting said in a classroom context. We're doing tall tales in class this week, and so have come up with all sorts of gruesome and awful stories. I threatened to gobble up a whole table of pupils today because I was a hungry giant. So without knowing the context it is possible that such a thing could be said to NT pupils and be acceptable.

HOWEVER part of the role of a one-to-one is to protect a child against misinterpreting such situations. We have one child that takes things very literally, and she has had lots of support during "tall tales" time to ensure she knows we're all pretending.

Also the "if you don't stop talking" element does rather imply a threat rather than something in jest / imagination time.

I think it sounds like the OP's DH handled it just right.