When should I start telling people about DS autism?

[adrianna22]

Hi

I'm finding it hard telling people about DS's autism.. i.e. strangers on the street, after-school clubs teachers, DS's friends family.

I do not want to broadcast it to the world that DS has autism, but at the same time I don't want to feel like I'm denying that DS has autism because I do not tell a lot of people, just close family friends, school and health professional's know.

Also, I am a bit as our paediatrician thinks my DS has partial-moderate brain injury and has been referred to neurologist- MRI scan.

You tell them when you are ready. There are no rules and there is no rush.
You have to come to terms with the dx yourself first and then when you feel comfortable you tell others.
You don't need to tell strangers or DS's friends family etc unless his ASD directly affects them.

I think it is dependent on how comfortable you are with people knowing, do they NEED to know, is it helpful if they know even if they don't need to, do you think they could help support you if they knew, would it help them understand him and so on. There are no rules, it is entirely up to you who you tell and when.

I agree with above. Tbh, only friends family and teachers know. I have recently told another parent as Ds quirky behaviour was apparent at the time. I don't think people need to know unless there is a good reason for them knowing.

I have also struggled with this, lots of people know about ds but I have been less forthcoming with dd diagnosis. For a long time I found it very hard to talk about and actually telling people felt like reliving it. I still sometimes find it hard and now feel I should only tell people who need to know as otherwise I find myself talking about the ins and outs of our lives with people who see it as a curiosity really.

We had our diagnosis a year ago and I'd only told DH's family and some close friends until a couple of months ago.

As for dealing with members of the public usually I just smile and nod if they say hello to DS and he doesn't reply (non-verbal) and they say, oh is he shy? - if they carry on trying to talk to him, I tell them he doesn't speak as he has autism and I either get sympathy or embarrassment. Another thing is DS carries his Thomas the Tank Engine umbrella everywhere and now it is summer people randomly say - 'oh is he expecting rain' and I'll just say - 'oh it's used as a parasol in the summer' or 'he is a little weather detector'.

I tend to only mention it to people who need to know.

Now that mine are older (11yrs and 13yrs), I find that they will sometimes mention it themselves if they think it's relevant to a particular situation.

Tell people when it makes your or your ds' life easier for them to know.

You don't have to tell strangers on the street., even if he's having a meltdown or whatever. It's none of their business.
I've told family/friends and obviously school.

I just tell people that need to know. So just family, friends, school and

Sorry, on my mobile....
We recently told the hospital staff were DS was having an operation. They were very accommodating.

I went through a stage where I was literally telling everyone. I was volunteering the information on the slightest of provocations. I think it was part of my way of coping with the diagnosis. Now, I'm a lot more wary of telling people if they really don't need to know, in case I get a crazy - you never know - but I'm still fairly free and easy with it.

I tend to get more understanding, or at least compassion/niceness, than embarrassment or incomprehension. I think I'm pretty lucky.

I always tell people - DS is now 24 and we have known since he was about three. If I don't, then he does. He also has some learning difficulties and I tend to mention that more privately on a need to know basis if it would help him in any way.

DS is very verbal and well spoken and most people don't realise until he gets on his favourite topic, currently bus timetables!