Hi all, I've posted before on this topic but I'm not sure I've posted in the right place, does anyone have any advice? I'm struggling with my DS:(
My DS is 9. He's very kind, shy, gentle boy and he has high functioning ASD. He has a statement with 20 hours 1:1 support a week. During infants he made good progress academically and socially. He had quite a few friends and he was settled.
However since he moved to juniors, things have all gone wrong despite that fact that it's the same school. He's been split from all his friends repeatedly so now he's completely isolated. He has no friends.The amount of homework is incredible - to make a historic board game from clay, to write a newspaper article etc the homework issue ruins ever weekend as it always triggers a major meltdown due to his anxiety levels. Last week he was rolling around on the floor screaming in anxiety. He went in yesterday in floods of tears because there is some fundraising activities and he didn't know what he was doing. This morning he said, out of the blue 'mum, no one would miss me if I left school, no one likes me'. The teacher times them getting changed to and from PE, any longer than five minutes and his name is written on the board and he's told he's left his class mates down. He never gets any certificates, trophies etc I've even asked if he can be excused assemblies when awards are given out as he gets so upset about it but they refused. I complained at the end of year 3 when he was split from his last remaining friend, the answer I got was 'he would flourish in the new class' within three weeks, he was being endlessly teased and he repeatedly punched another child in the head, so not like him. The list is endless.
The school itself is very high achieving and highly regarded locally. Obviously I've been in to school plenty of times, I've practically reserved myself a seat. Whilst they're nice enough, they just won't bend. The standard answer is 'we won't treat him any differently', my answer is of course 'but he is different! You've been telling me so for six years!!' But it's just no good, like banging your head against a brick wall. Of course they say they're inclusive but they're not. I've long felt he's merely tolerated not accepted. Incidentally, dd aged 5 started in sept 13. She is nt. She hated it, completely retreated, so I've moved her to another school and she's really happy there. But there is no space for DS and he said he doesn't want to move. So we're stuck for the next two years and I'm pinning my hopes on secondary school! Bloody hell, poor DS.
I'd do anything to help DS. I have no support network at all. My DH is loving but he struggles with DS and they're not close. My own mum died some years ago and my dad is severely disabled. DHs parents choose not to get involved with my DCs so I'm on my own with it. I'm also on anti depressants myself so I know my judgement isn't always correct. I'm really out of my depth :(