Blasted School Yet Again

[Skylar123]

With reference to my Ds being late for school most days I got another letter today after my original letter of which I replied about being threatened with penalty fine if Ds doesn't stop being late for school.

This letter says that the nature of Ds special needs do not support his many absenses.

What??

He has severe anxiety, which is documented.

They think that because he seems fine at school he is, however, I have stress attacks and meltdowns every morning trying to get him there.

I am so annoyed! What do they think this is a bloody game, how I long for Ds to enjoy school and go in like the other children.

The end of the letter states that I am able to come into school with Ds In the morning if I wish to to help him settle before the other children come in.

I'm so annoyed but I won't let them see it, they are pushing my limits. I will try going in with Ds as I think it may help him feel less anxious. I am willing to work with them.

They have put Ds absense record down and said that if it reaches a certain number again I will be fined.

Lol, lol, lol, threatening me will def take my Ds's asd and anxiety away. Ignorant, inconsiderate, ass's

Things are helping as and when they put things in place. Ds wouldn't go in as he didn't want to attend lunchtime playtime and assesmbly. Now they have sorted lunchtime, lunchtime is ok, he's happier to be at school at that time. Then we tackled playtime, again an improvement so all that is left is assembly. It shows that things work, but the bloody idiots want to crack the whip coz they are pissed off with me.

Write back inviting them to breakfast and to witness your morning routine for themselves. If you agree to going in early put a time limit on it! This was my mistake as once you agree to part-time or anything out of the norm then they'll let it go on forever and a day with no proper strategies unless there is a deadline to sort them out by iyswim. Looking back I can't believe the C%*p I put up with.

Be clear what time you'll depart each day too - or you'll be sucked in to 9.15 becoming lunch if your aren't careful. There's a danger you'll just transfer the meltdown from home to the school environment when you exit the building each day & of course you'll get blamed for that too.

Thanks bochead. I'm worried that Ds will rely on me doing that and then I will be doing it forever. I'm willing to help though. However, he is very unlikely to melt down at school I think. If he feels sad, frustrated, worse for it he will tell me at home and then will refuse to do it anymore.
He should be getting his proposed statement any day now, I doubt that will be much cop tbh.

What's really bothering me is that they are not seeing the progree he is making. With little things in place he is coming to school. I could never get him in before lunch as lunch was too stressful for him, then when they helped with a buddy and earlier transistion to the dinner hall he because less reluctant, he still struggles sometimes when his buddy runs away from him but doesn't refuse to go to lunch anymore. Then we went through the Same with playtime, again a monitor and a buddy to play lego with has helped, no more refusing playtime. He seems ok with it now. It's just the assemblies that I have haven't managed to get sorted for him, but they have clearly given up on him.

You need to make sure that the statement describes his anxiety and the approach that the school must take.

Ok anne thanks I will do

Maybe contact the EWO again and update them.

who issues the notice anyway - is it the LA or the school? Council website should say

Sorry I can't remember have you applied for a statement?

Hi agnes The LA would issue the actual notice
Yes proposed statement on way
The letter states that EWO has authorised all this and also agreed that the nature of Ds SEN doesn't warrant the absences.
Last time I spoke to her she was very sympathetic and knew nothing of the original letter warning me of a penalty notice

You say that your ds's anxiety is well documented. Has the EWO seen a copy of some paperwork (e.g by a psych or pediatrician) which describes his anxiety. She will only know what the school is telling her.

The paperwork we have says that he has high anxiety and one report says that it is preluding him from getting to school. I will tell the EWO this.
I think I have Sussed out the assembly issue...I thinks it's more to do with OT issues such as he is uncomfortable sitting cross legged for the long period of time due to his physical difficulties. He struggles to sit still. We've only just started OT and as yet I only know that he has poor core stability and poor motor skills. Perhaps there is a reason he doesn't like going to assesmbly as it is uncomfortable on his body.

Could he have a chair in assembly? A handful at our school do.

Forward the EWO whatever you have, I suspect she will calm down.